Quicksilver

Remember a few hours ago when I was all "I'm getting back on the wagon and going to the gym after work"? Yeah, fuck that shit. I'm going home, huddling into my couch, and reading a book. I feel like crap, worse now than earlier, and don't want to be bothered. I also seem incapable of doing any real work for more than fifteen minutes at a time. Instead, I'm emailing/pestering/annoying my friends with random things such as:

"A girl I work with just said "I loooove veggies". I told her that is because she is a genetic freak whilst thinking "fuck you skinny, healthy, in shape chick."

I've said it before and I'll say it again: I will blow the man who can get me to eat vegetables on a daily basis.

I really think it would be a man, too, because a woman would make me want to rebel and throw apples when I had a flash back to my mother making me eat green beans (which I would try to swallow without chewing with the aid of my milk... grossest thing ever).

Maybe I can put an ad on Craig's list...."

I also got Birdy to agree to let me ride in her utility cart down the hallway to the ladies room:

And now I am surrounded by large binders of audits that I need to QA. That makes me sound important, doesn't it? Really, I'm just flipping pages to make sure there are no misplaced documents or mixed medical records before Birdy sends them out. Super fun. But, it's about the speed I'm on right now so I may as well be grateful.

You know, seeing as most of the grownups are out of the office at the moment, I wonder if I could get away with changing into my gym clothes. Not that I'm going to the gym (I'm totally not, even if I did eat a little bag of popcorn and more M&Ms), but I'd be comfy. My sweater is making me sweat my tits off because today is actually nice compared to yesterday when I didn't have alcohol coursing through my veins and froze all day long.

Fine, fuck it, I'll go and do the elliptical (if I tried running I'm pretty sure I'd puke). This is the third time I've updated this post. Quicksilver was a good and premonitory title.