I only had to work until 1 PM today. Monday was MLK day and Tuesday was a vacation day for me, but I worked three hours (more actually) over those two days so was able to split early. I passed a few minutes bullshitting with girlfriends before I went so left at 1:15. I stopped by J's to drop off some mail and ended up on the phone for 30 minutes talking to my health insurance company on his behalf. J has primary insurance through his employer but I keep him on my benefits because mine are better. He received a prescription denial notice last month and when I called I was assured that it wasn't really a denial but a notice that his primary denied payment and so my coverage would pay. This time it looked like a denial of an appeal never filed. So we sat in my car whilst I talked to various representatives. J is a grownup and perfectly intelligent but I work in the healthcare field and have the vernacular and vocabulary and knowledge that he does not. So I spoke on the phone whilst he made jokes to make me giggle and slap him. It was sorted out, in his favor, and we were happy.
At 5 PM we ended up at a neighborhood bar where we had three drinks a piece, white wine for me and Murphy's stout for him. We talked about normal stuff before I started telling him random shit about MS. I told him how I renewed my gym membership, asking if there is a discount for people with chronic, incurable diseases (there is not). I told him how I talked to Viking at work and how that was a mistake because she is an old woman who doesn't think not to ask personal questions. "How are you doing with the shots? They hurt, don't they, when the needle goes in? J doesn't live with you anymore does he? He wasn't doing anything for you was he?" "No, Viking, the shots aren't that bad going in, it's just the side effects that bother me." "No, J lives in our old complex." "Viking, J is a great person, but we just don't live together anymore."
J got upset, to the point of tears. He has never done well with the diagnosis but I thought my making light of it would be OK. I thought wrong. He hates that I have this disease and that I have to give myself shots. No, I don't have to apologize, it's just that I am his wife, he told me in a quiet voice, and he wants to take care of me and take this away from me. I assured him that I'm the same person he met, the same idiot, the same jackass, at which point he made a joke. But he really hates that he can't fix this for me and I was honest and told him that I would like to be able to fix it as well. But I made damned sure that he understood that he needn't pity me, that I'm doing just fine. I would have cried myself if I didn't feel like I needed to take care of him.
We eventually went to dinner at our pub, where we discovered that our favorite couple, the ones who ran the place, had, indeed, moved on. J and I were greatly disappointed because they'd been there since we started showing up regularly. But we sat at the bar and enjoyed our food and agreed to meet once a week at a bar to watch one of the better NBA games. Whether we start next week or wait until after we meet for Super Bowl Sunday, I don't know. J told me that he didn't like that we'd gotten to the point where we had to make plans like this but I told him it was just what we needed. Dating like this is perfect, after all, for a couple that never really dated before becoming serious. I told him that if we are going to work out and be together, we need to really see how we are together. I truly believe he thought we just had some problems or disagreements to work out, whilst I think we need to get to know one another again. No matter what, this feels like a good compromise.
I dropped him off afterwords, and went home, where I let Johan out after he mistook my finger for a bell pepper and bit the fuck into it.
And that was the most of my Friday.
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