Next thing you know, it'll want a coming out party

The neuro-ophthalmologist should have a sign outside his door reading "The only news you get from me is shitty news." My right eye (the bad one) is doing really well. The neuritis is healing up very well but there is permanent damage done that is irreversible. Blow one to my hitherto good spirits. But, to an extent, I was kind of prepared for this. I know that when your immune system attacks the myelin around nerves and then another part decides to try and fix it, the fix isn't good as new. It's like putting a patch over a hole in your tire instead of buying a new one. It works OK, but it isn't the same thing.

Blow two was much harder to swallow. Remember that healthy left eye? It's been all swagger and bombast the last few weeks. Four weeks ago when I saw my neuro-ophth, there were signs of some decline in this eye but I was told not to worry too much because this sort of thing happens; the good eye spontaneously declines and repairs for no known reason. No big deal. Liar! There are signs of permanent damage to my so-called good eye as well, which means I probably had a mild neuritis in it as well, which spontaneously repaired itself. The damage isn't as bad as in my right eye, but that isn't the point. The point, ladies and gentleman, is that if there was a mild neuritis there as well, my disease is active.

I find this upsetting though I'm not sure why. I wasn't expecting this news, thought I'd just saunter in and out of this appointment with some nice visual field tests under my belt and that would be that. Nope! Present disease activity! Oh boy! This will certainly influence how my neurologists decides to treat my particular form of MS and there isn't anything I can do about it so calm down, right? And considering that I'm not even sure why I'm upset about this, I figure I won't actually be upset for very long.

And that was my Thursday.