Who's On the Line?

Have I mentioned how much I don't like meetings and how I seem to be in a lot of them lately? Right now I am working from home and am on a teleconference. I can barely hear the people speaking and that's a damn shame since this is a team meeting that deals with organizational changes. But all I can think about is farting really loudly into my phone to see if they notice. I don't know where everyone is located so I can't instant message people to make fun of colleagues or snark on the meeting because it might be seen by a boss or manager or the person I'm snarking on. All I can do is sit and pay half attention with one ear in case someone calls my name. Well that and play Farm Heroes Saga. I suck at Candy Crush but I'm not half bad at FHS and I like, when I beat a level or win an animal or something, that the game asks if I want to share the news. I've started saying yes and today I posted this:

 

Read it in the voice of Jesse Pinkman

Tomorrow begins my five day reprieve from the Hive as I've decided to refer to my work. I'm very much looking forward to that although I'm going to be missing a meeting that I'm actually interested in. But hey, not driving 70 miles a day and not having huge spikes in my blood pressure because of the shitty communication that goes on is worth it. And no, I have no plans. The Bat had discussed going camping with some friends but one of them is on call all weekend so that is out. I'll probably just faf about doing nothing. Well, nothing but defeating Rancid Raccoon and earning livestock in FSH. I'm toying with the idea of having a luxurious breakfast/brunch tomorrow but that would require my leaving the house, which would require me to take a shower and put on real clothes (the shower will happen no matter what, as soon as this fucking phone call is over). I don't know. We'll see. 

Speaking of making food, I officially cannot cook in the Bat cave. I'm a decent cook but every mother fucking thing I cook in this dude's oven, except for the savory tart, ends up tasting bland and boring. I don't know what it is because I never had this problem in my apartment in Mesquite or any of my apartments in Ohio. It's something about the cave. Also I'm the only one who cooked this week so far. The Bat promised me on Tuesday night to take me on a real date this week but he was super drunk and didn't remember any of the conversation we had. I told him about it - gave him the gist - and mentioned the date part so we'll see if that happens. All I know is that I'm either off the hook for cooking or else I need to stay away from that oven. 

Well, my meeting finally ended so I'd better get back to work. Yes, that's right, I wrote this during my meeting, which is essentially like texting someone because you're bored while waiting for something. I used you dear reader, I used you.