Breaking Up Isn't That Difficult After All

The Bat and I broke up last night. This has been a long time coming as I've been planning on breaking up with him since early July. Then my car had issues and he agreed to go to Arizona with me and I was afraid if I broke up with him he wouldn't help me with it. He told me he was a man of his word so he would definitely help me sell my current car and get the new one, which was really nice of him. He was planning on breaking up with me the day we got back to Texas so I don't know how long he's been planning it.

Everyone I've told have been really supportive but way more upset and freaked out than I was. I have my reasons for breaking up with him, which my closer friends know, but I don't hate him and he doesn't hate me. We both like each other more and feel more comfortable now that we've made this decision. I'll continue living in the Bat Cave until I can find a place and his day porter will still help with the actual move. We aren't telling Monkey, at my request, until I'm fully out, because it will make it more stressful for me and it will confuse her because the Bat and I are going to carry on as usual until I'm finally out. Sex and snuggles were the only good things in our relationship towards the end so, since we both enjoy it and I'll be here, it seems dumb not to continue doing it. We were at the gas station when I mentioned something about fucking and he said "we're still going to do that while you're here, right?" I said "oh, yeah" and then said "wait, is that fucked up?" But we both want it so it seems dumb to deny ourselves.

We both feel a tremendous sense of relief and like each other more now that the weight of the obligations of our "relationship" are gone. We've been roommates with benefits for so long that now that we are officially so, it makes it easier and lighter. We both want different things. He wants a companion whose company he enjoys and who he gets along with in bed. That's about it. I want a life with someone who wants the same. I want a boyfriend, one who likes me and shows me that he does, shows me that he cares about me. I want someone who treats me the way I treat boyfriends. Neither one of us is wrong and we don't hate each other. Most people are pretty confused that I'm not all broken up (even though many of them have known I was planning on splitting) and that he and I are getting along and, at this moment, enjoying mimosas and brunch together. There just isn't any reason for hostility when neither of us feels it.

So after I get the car from my mother and sell my beloved Saturn, I will take stock of my finances and begin looking for a new place in earnest. I'll stay fairly close to Rowlett because I have friends here that I want to remain seeing on a regular basis. And as much as I hate my commute, ever since I found a talk show in the afternoon that amuses me, my ride home provides me with a great time to decompress. But I will move slightly closer to work, if only by a few miles. Oh, and I think Bubbles is going to benefit. I bought her this pheromone atomizer thing yesterday in hopes of calming her the fuck down because she is losing fur and it's traumatizing me.

So that is the state of things, folks. I've broken up with my boyfriend and he's broken up with me. It was mutual and as tense as it was when we talked about it, right after we were totally fine, especially when the Bat said "and now here we are, arguing in a bowling alley" which made me laugh my ass off. I appreciate my friends who have been so supportive and caring. I can't believe I've made such good friends in such a short amount of time. I'm a lucky girl and my future is going to be fantastic. And I truly wish all the best for the Bat. Well, to be honest, I wish all the best to Monkey. The Bat can take care of himself.