Wednesday Ramblings

It is Wednesday morning and I am the definition of tired. I told the Bat yesterday that we either needed to go to bed earlier or have less frequent sexy times. I went to bed at 9 and was asleep by 10. I know because that's when the Bat came in and woke my ass up. Now I'm so fucking tired that for date night tonight, I'd like to just go to sleep. 

I wrote a bunch of junk yesterday but it sucked so I deleted it (though I still think you should know that there was a woman in the elevator with a very sparkly, blue sequin top on - clearly she works in a funner environment than do I). Yesterday was packed. I was quite productive at work, then I volunteered at the library, and then I met up with Spectero, my new friend, at Salt Grass for girls' night. I got hella lost on my way there and was really embarrassed about that because dude, I used to live in that area. I had no clue that was where it was located. Choosing that restaurant was smart though, because the Bat and Monkey went to the sushi bar again last night and they showed up both Tuesday evenings that Spectero and I were having girls' night there. It isn't that I don't want them around because I'm trash talking them, it just seems weird. Especially since the Bat is the one who pushed me to have friends. Now I feel like I can't meet up there with a friend without my roommates turning up and that's a bummer. But I can't exactly ask them to refrain from patronizing the place since they've been going there for four years. 

Spectero arrived before me, carrying a jade plant. The bartenders side eyed her but it was my idea. I told her to bring a plant and I'd wear my gold medal from when I was in the 8th grade. And I wore the shit out of it. I told her at one point that I liked the idea that people might think we were sisters and she was taking me out to celebrate having received a medal. Why not? It's not like anyone looked at it so how would they know it said something about Delaware Creative Competition? And it only says 1995 on the back of it so you'd have to get pretty up close and personal with me to know I won it when I was 14. She even gave me the plant after we'd finished boozing and eating all the food that wouldn't have been so bad for us had it not all been fried and/or wrapped in bacon. 

And now here I am, sitting in my death cubicle, hoping I don't fall asleep and that this coffee kicks in so I don't have to take a pill (prescribed to me, not something I bought off a guy in an ally way). I'd much rather be at home snuggling. Since I can't do that, I actually wish for once that I didn't have any projects to work on so that I could just zone out in my cube. But oh no, today one of my managers just sent me and a colleague more work on top of the other projects she gave me. Usually I'd be stoked but I'm having to peel my eyes apart at the moment so I just want to zone out and read things on the internet. 

I couldn't find either pair of glasses this morning (one was in my briefcase). 

I was the first person at the deli downstairs this morning. I'm always pleased when I get a receipt that says 001, telling me I was first. I don't know why that is.

When I got in the elevator I apparently didn't hit 3 hard enough because it skipped my floor so I had to walk down two flights of stairs to get to my department.

Tonight is date night and unless my ass perks up, it's going to consist of ordering pizza, watching a movie or some shows on Netflix, my passing out on the couch, and the Bat attempting to get some off me while on the couch before Monkey gets home from church. 

I need a new car.

I miss living alone. 

I'm happy in my relationship and, in general, my household.

My cat is being a dick and shit right in front of her litter box yesterday. I better follow up about that appointment at the vet I tried to make for her. 

I don't understand how Scientologists can take that shit seriously when their founder was a writer of Science Fiction. I put that on Facebook yesterday when I was at the library because the shelves I was in the middle of dusting happened to contain a bunch of L. Ron Hubbard. How the fuck can you believe in a religion made up by a dude who writes Science Fiction? Not that Joseph Smith is a credible character either, but Scientology is just the weirdest and funniest. 

Dusting shelves in the Science Fiction section makes me want to try out some SF but I can't seem to bring myself to do so. 

I think the last movie I saw in a theatre was Argo, with Tits. 

This junk isn't much better than yesterday's and I didn't even mention my hundreds of mosquito bites. 

I'm going to go read Dear Abby and send a letter to my girl Birdy over in the Westerville office so we can discuss it. Dear Abby online has a comments section now so it's that much more awesome. 

When Weekends are Awesome

I've mentioned before that I hate when people ask me if I have plans for the weekend or, come Monday, how my weekend was. Usually I don't have plans and I don't really do anything that I consider noteworthy so I always feel kind of embarrassed (why? Who the hell is judging me for not really doing anything on my weekends? Stupid brain). But this weekend, I actually did stuff. Lots of stuff! Not really noteworthy but I was super productive and so I give you:

What I Did Over the Weekend - a Review
Friday
OK, Friday was a work day so that was how I spent the bulk of the day. But I left at 2PM because I wanted to avoid terrible traffic as being in my car for long stretches of time was killing my back (which is all better I'm pleased to say). But that evening, the Monkey had two friends over and the Bat had his cousin Rosie and her boyfriend Heartburn over for dinner. It was a blast and a half. The grown ups (well, I think everyone but me) had stew and sat around and chatted, eventually going to the garage to sit and chat whilst listening to some music. I got suckered into taking Monkey and her friends to the shoe store for a 30 minute gander at shoes, but for the most part, it was just chill. Rosie is, I believe, about 22 or 23 and she works at a car parts store and knows a shit ton about cars. She, too, is from California originally, and has been in Texas for two years I believe. She and her boyfriend, Heartburn are engaged. I gave him this nickname because he recently had open heart surgery to replace or place a valve (I think he was born without one so they had to put in a pig valve). He's only 28 but man oh man. I forget about it when we hang out, but he can't lift anything or walk for long stretches yet. Still getting back to normal poor guy.

Saturday
As it was the weekend, the Bat made breakfast Saturday morning (potatoes and spicy sausage to be wrapped up in tortillas). We were both up fairly early so I sat and drank coffee whilst reading CNN as he made the breakfast. I also decided to start playing Call of Duty because I want to work on my hand eye coordination and I sometimes feel like I'm missing out by not playing popular video games (cultural. zeitgeist). So, so suck at COD but will get better with practice. Even on the easy level I get killed pretty quickly. I did kill 34 zombies and last 4 rounds the other day though.

Once the girls were up, they had breakfast and lounged around, Monkey cleaning the kitchen as I cleaned the Bat's bathroom as both a thank you for breakfast and out of necessity because I seem to be the only one who cares about having a clean bathroom. The Bat had to go to one of his buildings to make an access card and so he left the girls with me while I continued to straighten up and clean a bit. There was a playoff football game and I'm not exaggerating when I say they took 90 minutes to get ready. Monkey started fussing and worrying about her dad being home in time to take them at 12PM. They didn't have to leave until 1:30PM and I think they just had to go to the school so I could have taken them. But I remember that needless anxiety as a teenager so can't really fault her.

The Bat and I were supposed to go to Rosie and Heartburn's shop that afternoon but Rosie was super sick. After calling another friend who was also sick, the Bat and I decided to go to Macy's so I could finally buy him his birthday present. His actual day was the seventh and I took him to dinner but it was like pulling teeth trying to get him an actual present. He decided he wanted a nice outfit because he'd like to dress better when not at work so I said okey dokey, let's do this and off we went. He is now the proud owner of a nice pair of trousers, a really great dark green button down, and a soft off white sweater. Oh, and a tie. Because you may as well have one.

I don't know if it was on a lark or a whim or what but we ended up going to Dreamers afterwards. What's Dreamers you ask? A 24 hour adult novelty store located about 1/4 mile from where my ex boyfriend lives. The Bat and I actually went there on our second date but hadn't been back. I wanted to find something fun to wear (ended up getting something too small) and the Bat wanted to look into other stuff, which I won't go into. But it's always fun when you go there because if you need to try stuff on or just use the bathroom, you have to get the key from the cashier (who also has to buzz you into the shop) and the key is attached to a plastic case that you see around DVDs at Barnes & Noble. The bathroom is actually pretty nice though. And Dreamers is literally next door to another 24 XXX shop, which sucks. Well, we didn't check it out this time, but we did on our second date, and they had pretty much NOTHING other than some DVDs and, I suppose, a movie room (I could be wrong, I wasn't there for that). Just kind of odd. Ye Olde Terrible Sex Shoppe next to Pretty Killer Did You Know They Have Disposable Cock Rings Sex Shoppe.

You can use your imagination as to the rest of the evening. I even did laundry. Just reread this and that sounds like I did laundry based on other activities I participated in. No, I just happened to do some laundry.

Sunday
Sundays are usually pretty chill for the most part but the weather was really warm and the Bat wanted to work on his yard. I went for a run whilst he fixed his lawn mower and then we both cleaned up his garden, removing all bits of plastic and trash in preparation for tilling. I even got to use the machete to hack at the roots of tomatoes so as to remove the metal caging bits. Oh, and I got to use the drill when we took down the fence. The yard looks pretty good now with half of the garden tilled (with more tilling needed before any planting; we are considering planting winter veggies).

That afternoon we finally made it over to Rosie and Heartburn's shop where I needed to change my oil. First, Rosie showed me how to do it on her car, then she guided me as I did it all on my own for mine. Mine is really easy because the filter is pretty much right on top of the oil dealie that has the bolt/screw you have to remove. I'm weak as a guppie so I had to use a tool to get the filter off (and to get it back on because just because I can't turn it does not mean it is tight enough) but it was dead easy. I got messy, of course, but I didn't care and Rosie was sweet and told me that the first time she did it she was absolutely covered. It was fun and really rewarding and I'm so, so, so stoked that I know how to do this now. I've told pretty much everyone I know about it.

Rosie and Heartburn came back with us to the Bat Cave for pizza and beer and television in the garage. Like Friday night, the Bat and I ended up chilling alone in the garage for awhile after they'd left. At one point he said something along the lines of "oh, I'm really happy you're in my life at this point in time" or something. It's adorable the way he says things like that because it's almost like he sets a reminder on his phone telling him "time to say something sweet to her". I know he means it, as I've said, as he wouldn't lie to me or patronize me. It's just funny how obligatory it sounds. But it's also very touching that he does it because he knows I (and girls like me) really like hearing those things.

After the season premier of Being Human, we both took a shower. I was absolutely filthy from my run, the garden work, and changing my oil. There is only one working shower in the Bat Cave and it is in the Monkey's bathroom. The Bat and I haven't showered together in awhile but we did last night and it was fine and we kissed but we honestly didn't get up to anything rated beyond PG. However, the Bat likes to take a shower with extremely hot water before ending it with frigid water. I admit that we made some weird sounds when he turned the faucet to freezing but still. I only mention this because once I was out of the shower and was in the hallway, I could hear Monkey saying to her (boy?)friend "I can hear my dad and his girlfriend!" Dude, we weren't doing anything. I don't like to do anything when I know she's awake because I'm terrified of her walking in (which she's never done) and I don't like making too much noise when she's home (which is why the Bat moved his bed and why I keep meaning to jam a pillow between the headboard and the wall). It's weird for a kid to hear her dad getting it on. I respect that. I'm not about to hump in the shower at freaking 8:30PM.

And then bed. All in all I had an incredibly productive weekend of chores and setting up a work station (read: connecting my laptop to a separate monitor so I can work more comfortably in the Cave) and hanging out with decent people. Going back to work is a bitch. But I will go back to the Bat Cave afterwards and that is a reward in itself. Bonus points for having the rescheduled dance lesson with the Bat this evening.

Here's hoping my week is somehow as rad as my weekend. I'm really liking this life of mine. 

I win... because everyone is a participant

Not really killing it at being a grownup. Yesterday was a crap day at work and I knew I had to do the following afterwards:

1. Go to the pet store
2. Go to the people store
3. Go home to get some pills/check mail
4. Take the Bat to the mechanic to drop off a car
5. Clean Johan's cage

As previously stated, I despise doing anything after work that isn't sitting around with a beer or glass of wine. Stopping home wasn't a huge deal because it is on the way but the rest of it was annoying and time consuming and I just get really tired of driving. Which is why the Bat pissed me off so bad. 

We were at the mechanic's place when he informed me that we were also going to stop at Target so that Monkey could look for tights and a tutu (I don't know, something to do with Halloween I think). I just looked at him and he laughed at me. I think my utter silence (save for when I told him to shut up, then apologized for being bitchy but I DO NOT WANT TO TALK RIGHT NOW) and death grip on the steering wheel eventually told him that I was annoyed. 

No, stopping at Target wasn't that big of a deal but please do not volunteer me for anything. EVER. Especially not when it means being in my car for longer. I'm not really sure why he thought it wouldn't be problematic. Dude drives a ton for work so he understands not wanting to drive anywhere afterwards. I guess he doesn't realize how much it irritates me because he doesn't have to drive through downtown Dallas, which is a soul suck. ----Quick aside, why are the KVIL morning traffic reporter chicks so fucking gleeful? Honestly, the one today almost giggled whilst saying "Not much has changed ... which is not good news for those traveling west on LBG highway 635!" But she and the other chick who is usually there, are just so damned happy about reporting on terrible traffic. I told Tits that I imagine them looking like the flying monkeys from the original Wizard of Oz just sitting in the studio gazing at the gridlock and omnishambles, doing the Mister Burns hands thing and laughing at us all because they got to work at 4:30 and never experience nightmare traffic. She commented that I'd put a lot of thought into it. I told her it's a long commute.----

Anyhow. After Target we all went back to the Bat Cave and the Bat and Monkey got into his car to go elsewhere while I went inside to clean the pig cage and take a shower and stomp around and pour myself the first of many glasses of wine. I stayed in the bedroom for a large part of the evening because I was not fit to be around humans and didn't want to snap at the Bat. Yes, he irritated the hell out of me, but I also knew it was something really small and petty and so I just wanted to decompress and chill out because even though I was irritated, I knew it had more to do with having a shitty day and not wanting to drive and blah blah than it did with anything terrible on his part. 

That's why I've made myself a ribbon. Yeah, it isn't that great, but then again, look what I am awarding it to myself for. Clearly I'm not putting that much effort into anything these days. 

Dancing Bird of Paradise

Hablamos Burger King

I've been watching Dateline episodes on the internet, much to my great joy. Sure, I've been doing pretty well without television but mainly because I was subscribing to Hulu until recently and hadn't watched my DVDs  a hundred times (which I now have). I recently discovered that you can watch Dateline on the NBC website and so huzzah! I do like true crime, Lester Holt, Dennis Murphy, and Keith Morris (Morrison?). But what is with the Burger King commercial that only plays in Spanish? It's for a barbeque sandwich with sweet potato fries so I'm not really getting the link. Is Dateline's web audience predominately what we like to refer to as 'Latino'? I might not have noticed it if it weren't for the fact that internet 'television' has a habit of playing the same two commercials over and over and over again (when I was watching a marathon of an old BBC series called Teachers, I wanted to stab myself in the eyeballs every time the Greyhound Vodka commercial came on).

Other than the BK commercial en espanol solomente (I have no idea if that is correct), I only have one issue with Dateline. Why is it that they only have programs featuring pretty white women? OK, I did see two in which the women were Brazilian and ... uh, were they both Brazilian? And I'm talking about the murder mystery ones, not the news coverage ones. It's pretty much just pretty white (or light skinned) chicks getting killed or being accused of killing their husbands. I have a feeling it has to do with "socioeconomic" factors or "economic disparity." Which is just a fancy way of saying "people are more interested in learning about murder mysteries that involve the wealthy and white people are the wealthy people. But Typhoid Mary wasn't wealthy. I mean, OK, she didn't exactly murder people but it's still really interesting and she was, essentially, a lunch lady.

Weekend

I finally went back to the gun range recently. Upstairs Kid and I decided to try a new place, one further north, and we really liked it. I'm not really sure what it was. They have outdoor and indoor ranges, it is in a nice area, and it just seemed clean and nice. That and the young guy UK talked to about a specific pistol really knew his shit and wasn't trying to upsell him (UK is, in fact, getting a Bonnie to go with my Clyde [which I own out right as of today, having paid UK the last $75]). And I did my best work with a pistol thus far. My accuracy wasn't fantastic but it was much better for me and I felt more confident. Now that my life is a bit more settled, I'm hoping UK and I can go every other Saturday and so we are going to look into getting a membership at one of the places we've visited. Unfortunately, the place we went today probably won't win out due to price. But! I did get to see a guy wearing a shirt that said "Pavlov Rings My Bell" and that tickled me.

Other weekend fun included the following:

1. A nice long walk. I think of myself as an extrovert because I'm inappropriate and love to make people laugh. I'm also very social at work. But once the end of my shift hits, I don't want to talk to anybody. That's part of why I don't really do anything on the weekends (well, that and I don't have friends in state who are available/willing to hang out with me... aww). Going with UK to shoot was the most social I'd been in awhile. But I also tend to stay indoors because I read so damned much and don't like the sun. This troubles certain people and I think one very good friend worries about my being cooped up all the time. So I felt a bit embarrassed about my lifestyle and thought "you know, maybe I should take advantage of the nice day we are having." So I took a lovely three or four mile walk (this time on the correct side of the road, the one with the side walks) and really enjoyed myself. 
2. Watching movies. J and I saw the second Sherlock Holmes movie in the theater and whilst we agreed it was beautifully shot, neither of us thought it was as good as the first. However, I found that I enjoyed it more on the second, third, and fourth viewing*. I also rented Contraband because it was the only thing that tripped my trigger. I'm hoping it gets better on the second viewing.
3. Helping a Japanese neighbor move a dresser from by the dumpster into his apartment. I was a bit jealous as I'd seen that dresser and wished I could have it but I knew I couldn't move it myself. He'd already salvaged the drawers and I just caught him as he came for the bulk of the piece. So I offered to help him. He informed me that he is the "sushi man" at the Kroger across the street and said he'd bring me sushi tomorrow as a thank you. Whilst I do enjoy sushi, I assured him that was not necessary. After all, I know what it is to have help whilst moving. 
4. Going for another walk because I'm a masochist. OK, yes, the walks were nice and on the second I found Innis Gardens, which is simply gorgeous, but I keep going during the peak of the heat and my feet hurt like eight bitches in a bitch boat. Sure I brought water with me these last two times but one walk was 90 minutes and the other two hours. In 90+ heat. I remain the smartest person on Earth.

So, all in all, not a bad weekend. 

*I have a tendency to watch the same thing over and over again. Some people understand this but others find it infuriating.

Bits and Bobs
After that lovely weekend I returned to work for a Monday that lasted 10.25 hours. I was weirdly focused though so it wasn't as terrible as it could have been and then I came home to something pretty stellar. OMG but have you seen this? I am in love with this person now.

And: Sally Ride died. I told Hunter, via IM (he was in DC working ungodly hours on some sort of I don't know) and he said "who's that?" My reply? "Sigh... first woman in space. She had cancer." Hunter: "That's too bad. Do you know what kind?" Simply: "Yes. Space cancer.... no, just kidding, pancreatic."* 

Also, remember 50 Shades? Well, a friend of mine reviewed them on Good Reads and it made me want to know what happened in the books, like the actual plot (as far as there is one). So I went on Amazon and found some of the funniest fucking reviews ever. This is the review of the second and here is the third. I loved these reviews because the author enjoyed the books but was totally honest about them. Once again, the reviews of these books is the best thing about them I've found thus far. That and talking to Jilly Bean who just finished the first one because it cracks her up when I say things like "I'd be way more gracious about accepting shit from Christian. Wanna give me a car and a brand new computer? OK, I'll blow you for that." 

Finally: I've decided I'm going to make up an assistant. Whenever I have to contact anyone currently on our panel or anyone in our company with something that I think they will find annoying, I'm going to sign the letter with "Tony Flags, Credentialing Assistant" so that people can be annoyed with 'the boy' and not me. Tony Flags is a name I got from watching an episode of the Graham Norton Show. Antonio Banderas and Chris Martin were guests and Martin was talking about having a boring name. He said he'd looked up and found that banderas is Spanish for 'flags' and so Antonio Banderas is really Tony Flags, a name the actor actually uses at hotels from time to time. Thus, whenever anyone is upset with me, they won't know it and will, instead, be upset with Mr. Flags.

*Oh calm down. I was just annoyed that he didn't know who she was right off that bat and I got all "she's a woman so of course you don't know" which is totally unfair because Hunter isn't some misogynistic idiot. 

DDF

All I wanna do is dance
Today was saved by both the lovely Side Car and by Wii Just Dance 4, which I am in love with. I played it for an hour today and sweated out the brandy and, hopefully, burned a few calories. I don't do too badly points wise, but only because it's a matter of where the controller is rather than matching the dance moves exactly. This is good because the only bits I can actually do are the arm movements and even those are weak. But it is fun and you can get a good hour-long cardiovascular workout without noticing the time. If you decide to try one of the Just Dance games, I recommend the following:

1: Wear sneakers as you do move around quite a bit.
2: Wear a bra. One song of not wearing one and you will understand why.
3: Have water handy.
4: Make sure you have a lot of room because you will back into your coffee table and risk tumbling over.
5: Unless you are at all gifted when it comes to dancing, I would suggest you make sure you are alone.
6: If you are playing Just Dance 4, don't get too hung up trying to figure out why the person guiding you through the Wilson Pickett song is an alligator.

It's incredibly fun though and I do recommend it for at home workouts.

Shoot

Due to the mess that was my morning, I forgot all about the best experience I had in the last few days. Upstairs Kid took me shooting on Saturday! I shot a 22 rifle and a STG556 "Bull Pup" semi automatic rifle. The 22 was fun but the Bull Pup is what I fell in love with due to its power. It was loud, had a strong recoil, and I could see smoke when the shells discharged.  I've fallen in love with this and hope it becomes a new hobby. I've always been fascinated by guns but also terrified of them. My boss offered to take me to the range and I was keen to go until he pointed out that you really trust your fellow man when you go because you never know for sure that no one is going to just go psycho. I don't know why I decided to go but I'm glad I did because it was such a fun experience. Next time we will shoot hand guns and J will come with. One day I may even go so far as to purchase my own handgun for protection and go all out for the concealed handgun license, which is legal in Ohio, just for the badassness of it all. At this time, however, the only weapon I've purchased is a hot pink bottle of mace.

Hunter is pretty ecstatic about my new found love and a friend in Arizona was vocal about it as well, saying that the next time I'm in town, we'll have to go shooting. I'm not sure how J feels about it because I don't really know how he feels about guns. But he did say he wanted to go when we shoot handguns so that will probably answer my question about how he feels. The whole experience was so fun that I still can't stop talking about it with anyone and everyone. I've had two conversations with cashiers at my local grocery store, both of whom were very enthusiastic. In fact, so far the only negative parts of the experience have been 1) the fact that Upstairs Kid and I stopped at Sonic on the way and I ended up getting food all over myself and mustard on my seat belt so my car smells and 2) my upper left back muscles are sore (and have been since yesterday). But yeah, yay guns!

See what a little alcohol and dancing can do for one's mood?

The eggman cometh

Words Shmords

Something I need to stop saying so frequently and randomly:

"Ah! Come on stupid!"

This is always directed at myself and always for some stupid reason such as dropping a piece of paper or forgetting my coffee cup in the break room.

Something that made J crack up and posted at the suggestion of Hunter (background: I sleep with two stuffed cows, one of which I've had since I was three years old [fuck you, I am too still bad ass.]).

ME: "I can't find both my cows so I'm just sleeping with the one."
J:     "No cows."
ME: "Uh huh, usually two cows but tonight just the one. <speaking more to the cow or myself than to J>
          Who are you? Oh, it's old floppy!"
J:     "Old sloppy?"
ME: "Old floppy! We aren't talking about my vagina after all."

Just Dumb

I realized fairly early this morning that my outfit makes no sense. It would have done if I'd had all the pieces I'd planned on but I couldn't find my leggings (I really need to invest in a dozen pairs of black leggings). So, instead of looking cute and fun in black leggings, a black skirt, gray and white striped shirt, and colorful flats, I'm wearing a gray and white stripped shirt, black skirt, nicer black tights, and boots that are a bit much for this outfit. I should have worn a different shirt or a different pair of shoes or just worn black trousers instead. But evidently, I was dedicated to the idea of this outfit. That or I was so fucking cold that I didn't care to think too hard. Seriously, my bedroom is frigid. I finally got around to emailing my apartment complex about insulating the AC unit so hopefully, when I get home today there will be a ghetto plastic sheet masking taped around the fucker.

Sugar, Sugar!

Whilst I am at the moment convinced that I'm hungry all the time on this detox, I'm pretty sure it is just because I'm not eating enough* and I am getting a hell of a lot done. Yesterday I was stunned at how productive I was what with the diligent work day, 3.5 mile run at the gym, trip to the grocery store, cooking, washing dishes, and doing laundry. That may not seem like a lot but compared to my usual work day followed by lots and lots of couch time, it's pretty major. Hell, I wasn't even planning on doing laundry last night, it just sort of happened. Maybe today I'll accidentally vacuum or wipe down every surface. Who knows? The sky is the limit! And being productive is certainly more rewarding than plowing through my DVR'd show list whilst drinking and stuffing myself with chips. I dare say I feel pretty good right now. I even texted my friend, KR, to thank her for getting me into it because I'm really looking forward to the results and I feel good knowing that I'm actually doing something good for my health. I'm sure I'll end up freebasing black tar heroin by the end of the day so I'll just enjoy this moment while it lasts.

*Definitely a matter of not eating enough as evidenced by a conversation with Birdy here at work in which I said "maybe tomorrow I'll have two hard boiled eggs for breakfast instead of just one." I've been at work for five hours and so far I've eaten one egg, a few pieces of cheese, a green apple, and, just now, a chicken breast I cooked the other day. I'm not exactly eating meals, am I?