So today was another winner, although I did have some good in it. I went to the neurologist's office for my check up only to be told my appointment had been for hours earlier. Awesome. But they were able to squeeze me in and I only had to wait for thirty minutes. It was annoying, aggravating, and embarrassing, but at least I got seen. Even better, I had a full exam and not an abbreviated one like they said I'd have (after treating me like a dick; seriously, I do NOT like office staff at this office). And the good news is that I saw my MRI from September and the nurse practitioner compared it to the last one from January (one I'd had as part of a study) and there was no progression and no disease activity. No black holes either, which I think are supposed to be dead nerves so that's great. And my exam was fine so basically, my MS is stable
The exam is nerve racking. You don't do anything terrible, just walk really fast down to the other red line while they time you, follow fingers, touch your finger to her finger and then to your nose and back, that sort of thing. Oh, and this time I did the 9 peg game which is what it sounds like. With your dominant hand (in my case, the right), pick up one peg at a time and place it in the holes. When you are done, remove them one at a time. Do it again. Now do it with your non-dominant hand. But what makes it horrible is that while you are doing it, at least, if you are me, you feel like you are showing all sorts of problems and suddenly you aren't sure about your control of your limbs and you are just certain that you are going to be told "I'm concerned at the way you did..." But that didn't happen. The only concern the nurse had was the stress and misery I noted on my questionnaire. I'm totally honest on those things and I just told her about work and car issues and Johan. She said she didn't want to change anything because I was doing great with all but the life obstacles and come back in six months for a meet and great with my replacement neurologist (my initial one having buggerd off to Yale).
So, not terrible, right? And I looked super professional because I had an interview scheduled for 3PM for a job I really hope I get. I was in a suit because the recruiter told me it was to be a video conference (it's a transfer within my company) so I dressed like a professional office worker rather than the "well, this is clean and fits" mentality that I usually go in with. I was nervous, of course, but anxious to get it over with. PW set things up for me and showed me what to do if I had to make adjustments. She came back in a few minutes to see that things were OK and then waited with me for 45 minutes as NOTHING HAPPENED. The idiot recruiter (who has been incompetent and unprofessional for ages now) didn't bother to make sure the equipment in her office worked and they had technical difficulties. Took her 45 minutes to decide to cancel and reschedule and I shit you not, she actually said to PW "we'll reschedule for Monday or Tuesday next week and I'll test out the equipment ahead of time." Really genius? That seems like a good idea. You should be in mensa.
Everything about that pissed me off and my fear is that the hiring manager will just go with someone that can walk in for an interview even though she's keen on me. But there is nothing I can do about it but hope that second attempt works because I only have two suits. Stupid bitch. Seriously, I talked to Biddy about it afterwards because he knows the position and the people involved and he actually put me forward for it and he was pretty pissed himself. Not only has he heard me bemoan this person's lack of competence over the last two weeks, he feels like he's being compromised because he put forth a friend and colleague and now that person (moi) is being jerked around. But what can you do?
My day did end on two high notes however. I decided to try my hand at the Inside Out Slugs done properly (otherwise known as this done properly) and although I forgot to look for the seasoning called "savory", I was successful and they were delicious (and also looked far less disgusting). I also found a way to get the eye goo into poor piggy's creepy eye. This is hard to do and I have to hope I'm getting it in there because it is hard to tell. The vet was all, squirt it out of the tube and press his lids together but that doesn't work for me so I have to put it on my finger and try to get it on the eyeball. I'm pretty sure I got it really well done the second two times today, as well as getting his anti inflammatory fully pumped into him. I call that a fucking win. I think his eye might be improving but it is hard to tell since I'm looking at it all the time and so maybe I'm just used to it? I keep giving him extra veggies because I'm afraid I'm stressing him out by man handling him so much and fucking with his eye. I want to make sure he continues to eat and so far, he seems fine. He even kind of pop corned during floor time and wandered around in his usual fashion so hopefully he is more stoic than I. 4.5 to 5 days left of this and I'm done and then just have to take him to the vet for his check up (hopefully). If I think it hasn't improved at all or if it looks worse, I'll have to make an earlier appointment and start talking about surgery. I'm trying to think positively but considering how shitty this year has been, it's a lack luster positivity. I didn't get excited or think much about my interview today because I'm kind of numb and just expecting things to suck. I did get a bit emotional but I don't think I sobbed at any point today so score.
So no sobbing, some set backs, some successes. I feel OK but I'm not about to try and kick the fucking football any time soon.
The exam is nerve racking. You don't do anything terrible, just walk really fast down to the other red line while they time you, follow fingers, touch your finger to her finger and then to your nose and back, that sort of thing. Oh, and this time I did the 9 peg game which is what it sounds like. With your dominant hand (in my case, the right), pick up one peg at a time and place it in the holes. When you are done, remove them one at a time. Do it again. Now do it with your non-dominant hand. But what makes it horrible is that while you are doing it, at least, if you are me, you feel like you are showing all sorts of problems and suddenly you aren't sure about your control of your limbs and you are just certain that you are going to be told "I'm concerned at the way you did..." But that didn't happen. The only concern the nurse had was the stress and misery I noted on my questionnaire. I'm totally honest on those things and I just told her about work and car issues and Johan. She said she didn't want to change anything because I was doing great with all but the life obstacles and come back in six months for a meet and great with my replacement neurologist (my initial one having buggerd off to Yale).
So, not terrible, right? And I looked super professional because I had an interview scheduled for 3PM for a job I really hope I get. I was in a suit because the recruiter told me it was to be a video conference (it's a transfer within my company) so I dressed like a professional office worker rather than the "well, this is clean and fits" mentality that I usually go in with. I was nervous, of course, but anxious to get it over with. PW set things up for me and showed me what to do if I had to make adjustments. She came back in a few minutes to see that things were OK and then waited with me for 45 minutes as NOTHING HAPPENED. The idiot recruiter (who has been incompetent and unprofessional for ages now) didn't bother to make sure the equipment in her office worked and they had technical difficulties. Took her 45 minutes to decide to cancel and reschedule and I shit you not, she actually said to PW "we'll reschedule for Monday or Tuesday next week and I'll test out the equipment ahead of time." Really genius? That seems like a good idea. You should be in mensa.
Everything about that pissed me off and my fear is that the hiring manager will just go with someone that can walk in for an interview even though she's keen on me. But there is nothing I can do about it but hope that second attempt works because I only have two suits. Stupid bitch. Seriously, I talked to Biddy about it afterwards because he knows the position and the people involved and he actually put me forward for it and he was pretty pissed himself. Not only has he heard me bemoan this person's lack of competence over the last two weeks, he feels like he's being compromised because he put forth a friend and colleague and now that person (moi) is being jerked around. But what can you do?
My day did end on two high notes however. I decided to try my hand at the Inside Out Slugs done properly (otherwise known as this done properly) and although I forgot to look for the seasoning called "savory", I was successful and they were delicious (and also looked far less disgusting). I also found a way to get the eye goo into poor piggy's creepy eye. This is hard to do and I have to hope I'm getting it in there because it is hard to tell. The vet was all, squirt it out of the tube and press his lids together but that doesn't work for me so I have to put it on my finger and try to get it on the eyeball. I'm pretty sure I got it really well done the second two times today, as well as getting his anti inflammatory fully pumped into him. I call that a fucking win. I think his eye might be improving but it is hard to tell since I'm looking at it all the time and so maybe I'm just used to it? I keep giving him extra veggies because I'm afraid I'm stressing him out by man handling him so much and fucking with his eye. I want to make sure he continues to eat and so far, he seems fine. He even kind of pop corned during floor time and wandered around in his usual fashion so hopefully he is more stoic than I. 4.5 to 5 days left of this and I'm done and then just have to take him to the vet for his check up (hopefully). If I think it hasn't improved at all or if it looks worse, I'll have to make an earlier appointment and start talking about surgery. I'm trying to think positively but considering how shitty this year has been, it's a lack luster positivity. I didn't get excited or think much about my interview today because I'm kind of numb and just expecting things to suck. I did get a bit emotional but I don't think I sobbed at any point today so score.
So no sobbing, some set backs, some successes. I feel OK but I'm not about to try and kick the fucking football any time soon.
