Wednesday Ramblings

It is Wednesday morning and I am the definition of tired. I told the Bat yesterday that we either needed to go to bed earlier or have less frequent sexy times. I went to bed at 9 and was asleep by 10. I know because that's when the Bat came in and woke my ass up. Now I'm so fucking tired that for date night tonight, I'd like to just go to sleep. 

I wrote a bunch of junk yesterday but it sucked so I deleted it (though I still think you should know that there was a woman in the elevator with a very sparkly, blue sequin top on - clearly she works in a funner environment than do I). Yesterday was packed. I was quite productive at work, then I volunteered at the library, and then I met up with Spectero, my new friend, at Salt Grass for girls' night. I got hella lost on my way there and was really embarrassed about that because dude, I used to live in that area. I had no clue that was where it was located. Choosing that restaurant was smart though, because the Bat and Monkey went to the sushi bar again last night and they showed up both Tuesday evenings that Spectero and I were having girls' night there. It isn't that I don't want them around because I'm trash talking them, it just seems weird. Especially since the Bat is the one who pushed me to have friends. Now I feel like I can't meet up there with a friend without my roommates turning up and that's a bummer. But I can't exactly ask them to refrain from patronizing the place since they've been going there for four years. 

Spectero arrived before me, carrying a jade plant. The bartenders side eyed her but it was my idea. I told her to bring a plant and I'd wear my gold medal from when I was in the 8th grade. And I wore the shit out of it. I told her at one point that I liked the idea that people might think we were sisters and she was taking me out to celebrate having received a medal. Why not? It's not like anyone looked at it so how would they know it said something about Delaware Creative Competition? And it only says 1995 on the back of it so you'd have to get pretty up close and personal with me to know I won it when I was 14. She even gave me the plant after we'd finished boozing and eating all the food that wouldn't have been so bad for us had it not all been fried and/or wrapped in bacon. 

And now here I am, sitting in my death cubicle, hoping I don't fall asleep and that this coffee kicks in so I don't have to take a pill (prescribed to me, not something I bought off a guy in an ally way). I'd much rather be at home snuggling. Since I can't do that, I actually wish for once that I didn't have any projects to work on so that I could just zone out in my cube. But oh no, today one of my managers just sent me and a colleague more work on top of the other projects she gave me. Usually I'd be stoked but I'm having to peel my eyes apart at the moment so I just want to zone out and read things on the internet. 

I couldn't find either pair of glasses this morning (one was in my briefcase). 

I was the first person at the deli downstairs this morning. I'm always pleased when I get a receipt that says 001, telling me I was first. I don't know why that is.

When I got in the elevator I apparently didn't hit 3 hard enough because it skipped my floor so I had to walk down two flights of stairs to get to my department.

Tonight is date night and unless my ass perks up, it's going to consist of ordering pizza, watching a movie or some shows on Netflix, my passing out on the couch, and the Bat attempting to get some off me while on the couch before Monkey gets home from church. 

I need a new car.

I miss living alone. 

I'm happy in my relationship and, in general, my household.

My cat is being a dick and shit right in front of her litter box yesterday. I better follow up about that appointment at the vet I tried to make for her. 

I don't understand how Scientologists can take that shit seriously when their founder was a writer of Science Fiction. I put that on Facebook yesterday when I was at the library because the shelves I was in the middle of dusting happened to contain a bunch of L. Ron Hubbard. How the fuck can you believe in a religion made up by a dude who writes Science Fiction? Not that Joseph Smith is a credible character either, but Scientology is just the weirdest and funniest. 

Dusting shelves in the Science Fiction section makes me want to try out some SF but I can't seem to bring myself to do so. 

I think the last movie I saw in a theatre was Argo, with Tits. 

This junk isn't much better than yesterday's and I didn't even mention my hundreds of mosquito bites. 

I'm going to go read Dear Abby and send a letter to my girl Birdy over in the Westerville office so we can discuss it. Dear Abby online has a comments section now so it's that much more awesome. 

Babies with fake IDs

Aren't you a pretty little thing!
Someone mistook me for a child the other night. Wait, let me go back a few beats.

I am very interested in the Bible and Christian religions. Yes, I'm a militant atheist with no doubt in my mind that there is no super natural power or anything beyond what we have here on earth. But I also have a very academic interest in religion in general and Christian faiths in particular (mainly because you have to start somewhere and Christianity has always been all around me). I recently sat and chatted with my very nice neighbor, G, who is Pentecostal. She loaned me a few books and then, when I asked her what her beliefs were, invited me to her church on Sunday. As it was an evening service, I said "sure." It was quite the experience given that the last few times I've been in church have been for weddings. I don't know when I was last in attendance for an actual service, but I do know it was nothing like this. The choir was up and running when we arrived and the assembly was on its communal feet, clapping, singing, hands raised towards Heaven (I'm presuming). The Pentecostals appear to be quite expressive and vocal in their worship.

It was nice and I'm glad I went because I took lessons from the sermon that are very applicable to secular life. I may even go again. I filled out a visitor's card and everything. And that's how I found out that I'd been mistaken for a child.

On Monday there was a knocking on my door that was quite persistent (I only answered after the third knock and only because I figured it had to be an emergency [I wasn't exactly ignoring anybody, but I was in the bath and it wasn't exactly convenient]). Turned out to be someone from the church, with my neighbor, bringing me a little thank you gift for having attended the church the night before. It was then that she said "I did see you with G, but I thought you were a child." G assured me that this lady only saw me from the back and I have to assume that she only saw me sitting down. I'm not an Amazonian but, at 5'7, I think I'm rather taller than the average child. Or else I'm shrinking. And not only did she think I was a child, but a child with 'great hair.' Interesting.

Morpheus
Sleep and I are getting through the growing pains and figuring things out. Yesterday, when my alarm sounded, I shut it off as if to say "thank you but no, I'm not getting up right now." And when I say I shut it off, I mean I turned off one alarm, unlocked my cell phone, and dismissed that alarm as well. I have only a vague memory of doing this but it was done and thus I awoke at 8 a.m. when I was meant to begin my work day. Not very good at all. And that extra hour of sleep didn't do me much good based on how tired I was all day.

Last night I took a bath with some sleepy time bath bubbles (courtesy of a friend) and drank some vodka and this helped me fall asleep and stay asleep. I am still dead tired today, but at least I made it to work on time. My goal is to be able to get to sleep by 11 p.m., without any aids (alcoholic or otherwise) and sleep throughout the night. Like I used to before MS and the separation. K told me that she stopped sleeping properly in 2003, when her marital strife began. She is now remarried, has a baby, and life is good, but she said she still doesn't sleep like she used to. I hope that isn't where I'm headed. It's been two months of insomnia, semi-insomnia, sleeping through my alarm, and being constantly tired. The Provigil comes in handy during the work day but I would much prefer just being able to sleep properly. I miss it.

It would probably help if I stopped emailing all evening. That's become a habit that I need to break for more reasons than one. So I have a new goal for the next few days: after work I will go home, have something to eat, say hey to the pig, and then focus on getting my home in order and keeping it in order. I swear to god I clean the fucking place every day and then I get home from work the next day and, evidently, go to a closet, pull things out at random, and throw them on the floor. Oh, and eat off of seven different kinds of plates. It is absurd that I can't keep order when it is only me for fuck's sake.

I'll start that today.