Wednesday Ramblings

It is Wednesday morning and I am the definition of tired. I told the Bat yesterday that we either needed to go to bed earlier or have less frequent sexy times. I went to bed at 9 and was asleep by 10. I know because that's when the Bat came in and woke my ass up. Now I'm so fucking tired that for date night tonight, I'd like to just go to sleep. 

I wrote a bunch of junk yesterday but it sucked so I deleted it (though I still think you should know that there was a woman in the elevator with a very sparkly, blue sequin top on - clearly she works in a funner environment than do I). Yesterday was packed. I was quite productive at work, then I volunteered at the library, and then I met up with Spectero, my new friend, at Salt Grass for girls' night. I got hella lost on my way there and was really embarrassed about that because dude, I used to live in that area. I had no clue that was where it was located. Choosing that restaurant was smart though, because the Bat and Monkey went to the sushi bar again last night and they showed up both Tuesday evenings that Spectero and I were having girls' night there. It isn't that I don't want them around because I'm trash talking them, it just seems weird. Especially since the Bat is the one who pushed me to have friends. Now I feel like I can't meet up there with a friend without my roommates turning up and that's a bummer. But I can't exactly ask them to refrain from patronizing the place since they've been going there for four years. 

Spectero arrived before me, carrying a jade plant. The bartenders side eyed her but it was my idea. I told her to bring a plant and I'd wear my gold medal from when I was in the 8th grade. And I wore the shit out of it. I told her at one point that I liked the idea that people might think we were sisters and she was taking me out to celebrate having received a medal. Why not? It's not like anyone looked at it so how would they know it said something about Delaware Creative Competition? And it only says 1995 on the back of it so you'd have to get pretty up close and personal with me to know I won it when I was 14. She even gave me the plant after we'd finished boozing and eating all the food that wouldn't have been so bad for us had it not all been fried and/or wrapped in bacon. 

And now here I am, sitting in my death cubicle, hoping I don't fall asleep and that this coffee kicks in so I don't have to take a pill (prescribed to me, not something I bought off a guy in an ally way). I'd much rather be at home snuggling. Since I can't do that, I actually wish for once that I didn't have any projects to work on so that I could just zone out in my cube. But oh no, today one of my managers just sent me and a colleague more work on top of the other projects she gave me. Usually I'd be stoked but I'm having to peel my eyes apart at the moment so I just want to zone out and read things on the internet. 

I couldn't find either pair of glasses this morning (one was in my briefcase). 

I was the first person at the deli downstairs this morning. I'm always pleased when I get a receipt that says 001, telling me I was first. I don't know why that is.

When I got in the elevator I apparently didn't hit 3 hard enough because it skipped my floor so I had to walk down two flights of stairs to get to my department.

Tonight is date night and unless my ass perks up, it's going to consist of ordering pizza, watching a movie or some shows on Netflix, my passing out on the couch, and the Bat attempting to get some off me while on the couch before Monkey gets home from church. 

I need a new car.

I miss living alone. 

I'm happy in my relationship and, in general, my household.

My cat is being a dick and shit right in front of her litter box yesterday. I better follow up about that appointment at the vet I tried to make for her. 

I don't understand how Scientologists can take that shit seriously when their founder was a writer of Science Fiction. I put that on Facebook yesterday when I was at the library because the shelves I was in the middle of dusting happened to contain a bunch of L. Ron Hubbard. How the fuck can you believe in a religion made up by a dude who writes Science Fiction? Not that Joseph Smith is a credible character either, but Scientology is just the weirdest and funniest. 

Dusting shelves in the Science Fiction section makes me want to try out some SF but I can't seem to bring myself to do so. 

I think the last movie I saw in a theatre was Argo, with Tits. 

This junk isn't much better than yesterday's and I didn't even mention my hundreds of mosquito bites. 

I'm going to go read Dear Abby and send a letter to my girl Birdy over in the Westerville office so we can discuss it. Dear Abby online has a comments section now so it's that much more awesome. 

Fucking Pigs

Wu Tang
The Wu Tang Clan weirdly featured in my life recently. It seemed like it was just always there. I randomly fell into a conversation with my new boss about them, the first person in OH who knew who they were (and by "in Ohio" I mean the first person since moving to Ohio and works with me that knows them - dude is actually in Oklahoma). Then I was driving down the street and saw a kid wearing a Wu Tang Clan t-shirt. Then a blogger I follow mentioned the Wu Tang. I commented twice but they eventually got erased (he probably thought I was a troll). Wait, no, my comments are back so he knows I'm not a troll. I'm just some weird chick who really likes the Wu Tang. They were, after all, part of the first concert I ever attended (they opened for Rage Against the Machine... I know, right, bad ass for a first concert). Still, after years of no one knowing the Wu Tang, they featured heavily in my life recently.

Summit Submit

Broad Summit was another success. Actually, it was interesting. We had to meet a bit early because two members had Bible Study. About 90 minutes before hand, I met with, uhm, what the fuck do I call her? I'm so bad with pseudonyms but I think I call her Wonder Woman (the chick who helped me move) Anyway, she and I chatted/vented for about 30 minutes outside of work and it was really awesome. Then we all met up, had a bunch of beers and terrible for us food and bitched about work as usual. The idea that we reschedule future meetings came up because Bible Study is always on a Wednesday but the four of us who do not do Bible Study agreed that no, fuck that. For one, why should four of us reschedule for two people and for two, I sent out the invitations months ago and so if you can't skip study for one night, well, we meet at 5 and if you can only stay for 30 minutes that's fine. We can also have impromptu sessions. BS (heh) is really just so we can meet up, vent, have some non office girl time, let off some steam, and get advice. Wednesdays are perfect. In fact, we usually meet the second Wednesday of each month, right when you want to slit your wrists and just as you are pulling out the razor your calendar alerts you to the meeting. We all have various priorities and we all have to make that judgment call. Come if you can. We'll welcome you.

Medical Stuff

I found out in a weird way that my neurologist is leaving the clinic and going to Yale. My office had a diabetes screening and as I was waiting for my results (all clear), the lady who checked us in and I got talking. Turns out we were diagnosed by the same doc and that we saw the same neuro. She told me he was leaving but that they were going to take care of the patients. I hope so because it was a bitch to get into this clinic.

In more troubling news is our Johan. I'm going on a business trip to the Irving office in a couple of weeks (Hunter and Austen, you'd better not let your wives know) and so will have to board piggy again. They will only board if the animals are up to date on their check ups so I brought him in. Johan has a little growth, a little lump like a pimple, on his back. He didn't let me know that it was there, didn't complain or seem upset; I just noticed it one day when I was petting him. I hoped it would go away but it didn't. The vet told me it wasn't normal but that he didn't know what it was. If it gets bigger, we'll have to have it removed. So I'm to keep an eye on it.

I'm not pleased, having something that isn't normal with Johan. I'm not pleased that the vet couldn't tell me anything about it. But it wasn't his usual doc because she is on maternity leave until August. He didn't seem like he was as thorough as usual doc but then, he did things behind closed doors for the most part so maybe he did all the usual stuff (I know he checked Johan's mouth because he commented on how that was the worst part with pigs and that Johan's teeth are fine). And, to his credit, he did tell me that I should be giving piggy more veggies, 50% of his diet (his diet is mostly hay, a small amount of pellets, and then a piece of bell pepper and a handful of cilantro or parsley a day). So pig and I went to Kroger afterwards (again... we always seem to hit the store after the vet) and I bought carrots. Like many pet owners, I'm more concerned about this than I am about my neurologist issue.*

What if he has to have the mass removed? What do you do for that, anesthesia, surgery, overnights in the hospital? What if they want to do imaging on him? How much am I willing to spend on him?

Hear that? That is the sound of my burrowing my head in the sand in order to ignore the situation. 

Oy

 I am in the shittiest of moods today. I got a letter last night saying I now owe $120 on my bullshit ticket. It's a camera red light thing and the picture shows me turning right on the red where there is no sign saying this is prohibited. I looked up the code, found I was in the right, and then called the mother fuckers who then said it was because my four wheels did not all come to complete stop. Bullshit. I know they did because I know that intersection and at that time of day, it is fucking busy so of course you have to slow to a stop. And there is a mother fucking cop in the picture behind me! I know the cameras are to allow cops to do other stuff but shouldn't the City be a bit embarrassed about that? So bullshit but I'm paying it and including a nasty letter, a copy of the picture, and a copy of the ordinance that says this is bullshit. I'm sure some admin will just charge my credit card and then wipe his or her ass with my carefully thought out and strongly worded letter.

Also, Hunter convinced me to keep my GPS in my glove box. It was stolen last night.

Also, my boss routinely stands me up for meetings and then gives me five minutes to talk about something I have no clue about.
 

Books

And finally, on a better note, books! I really enjoyed Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn, so much so that I borrowed Dark Places, her second novel, and read it in a day and a half. Certain things I like about this author before reading anything about her:

• She seems to always place her stories in the middle west, Kansas and Missouri. I assume that is where she is from since people always say to write what you know but I like when authors base their books in towns that are similar to their home towns. I don't know why that is but I do. I think it's because they give you a better picture of those areas. 
• She writes women differently than anyone I've ever read before.
• She's damned good with a twist.

So I finished Dark Places, liked it so much that I reserved Sharp Objects, Flynn's first novel, and looked her up on line (fucking LOVE google). The "about the author" page is charming but, even more enticing, is this little tidbit. I love ballsy, honest broads and Flynn strikes me as being one. I've never heard a woman express this sort of sentiment and so she impressed me. So I highly recommend this author and I like her work a lot; however, that being said, it is a bit disturbing what some people can imagine.

*I called eldest brother about Johan. I called my eldest brother who features so rarely in this blog that he doesn't have a pseudonym. He told me, very cavalierly, that Johan most likely has a tumor, that it is cancer, and that none of his pigs ever had such a growth. And he said it with a nastiness that it made me wonder what I might have done to him. He and his wife have had guinea pigs for years, hence my going to him.  He was all but gleeful with the news. I chalk it up as a lesson in stupidity because what the fuck was I thinking going to him?????

Amusement Parks and Water Parks

Is it me?
Here is an "Am I the only one" question. You know how you'll suddenly remember something funny, usually something funny that a friend said, and find yourself laughing out loud? Am I the only one who has this happen whilst in the restroom at work while there are other women in there? That is the worst. I'll remember something hilarious, usually something that has just happened, and find myself starting to giggle out loud, remember where I am, get embarrassed, and try to play it off as a cough. I mean, it is one thing to laugh at my desk whilst remembering J telling me, years ago, about how he found himself at work whistling the Murder, She Wrote theme song, but quite another to start laughing at the term "chunky dunking" while on the toilet (chunky dunking, apparently, is skinny dipping for fat people).

It is Sunday and I've been awake since 4:30 a.m. because my body continues to hate me. I don't blame it, now that I think about it, given the way I treat myself. Here, have some pizza, booze, McDonalds, goldfish crackers, and other crap. Love you! I hate when I'm awake and tired and can't sleep. I don't even have the heat as an excuse. I got up and did some housework, loading the dishwasher, cleaning the disposal, picking up around the living room. Quite domestic considering that I sat for 1.5 hours in a sweltering laundromat yesterday (the poor owner assured everyone who came in that he had a guy working on the AC at that moment; he even gave me a bottle of water for free). But mainly I've been in bed with my Catherine the Great biography. This is a terrific book but I'm shocked at what life was like for the young Catherine. I think about empresses and princesses and imagine a world of luxury. This poor chick was imported from Germany to marry her horrible cousin and, upon marriage, she was watched all the time and cut off from her family. Sure, she lived in luxury, but psychologically, what a nightmare. And her "aunt", the empress Elizabeth, was most likely bipolar given her temperament, generous and loving one moment, flying into a rage the next. And so obsessed with Catherine and Peter's having an heir to the thrown so as to continue the Russian dynasty. Super interesting. I suggest this book absolutely.

In Old Lady News
Because the heat has turned me into someone who only talks about the weather and my pet... I got Johan back and was tickled when I saw him popcorn in his cage last night. To popcorn is to spontaneously jump into the air. Horses and gazelles do it as well but, perhaps because they are so little, guinea pigs will often turn in the air whilst jumping. It means they are really happy and exuberant. Johan doesn't do the full twists like he did when he was a baby, but he still does it from time to time. As he was in his cage at the moment, I was especially happy to know that he felt good. It's like when I hear him purr from his pigloo. It's nice to know that the little bastard is happy. Did I mention what the vet tech said when I picked him up the other day? I'd commented about his being a surly asshole and she said something to the effect of "he was nice and good... for a guinea pig". Who knew that guinea pigs were assholes? 

He's got me incredibly whipped, as we all know. This morning I went to the pet store and talked with a guy who caught me in the small animals section. I was telling him about how I think Johan's pigloo might be a bit too small but the larger size was too big and I don't know for sure if Johan isn't happy with his pigloo and... I seriously stood there obsessing about this thing called a "fun tunnel"*, would Johan like it, would Johan dislike it? I bought the thing, along with vitamin C drops for his water and you know what? He sniffed it and chewed on it a bit but didn't go in it. Maybe tomorrow.

*I know, right? Fun tunnel. Sounds like a euphemism for either the vagina or the anus. Mmm, hey baby, wanna take a ride in my fun tunnel?

Parks

There are certain things about me that I find really weird. Not, you know, special quirky weird, but things that just don't make sense. When a friend on facebook announces she is pregnant with a second or third child do you know what I think? I think "why would you do that? You know your husband is going to leave you so why invest in children?" How fucked up, right? But it is automatic. I just assume that people will always fall out of love and separate and that fathers will bugger off and abandon their children. I know that is wrong, I know it absolutely and I know that it stems from my own life, my father splitting on us when I was six and then dropping out of our lives and, you know, earth, when I was ten. I know that isn't the norm but it is still my instantaneous reaction to news about pregnancy.

The other thing is amusement parks. I used to go, from time to time, to places like Six Flags and whatever that water park was called back in PA or DE. My family would go and my brothers and I loved the water parks. I remember loving the really high slide, even though it gave me (and everyone else) the worst wedgie ever. And the wave pool! Oh my the wave pool. But you know what? I'm surprised they still exist, amusement parks and water parks. Because in my head I guess people no longer want to have fun? I don't know why but for some reason I'm surprised that people still want to go to Six Flags or Disney World/Land. There are two big parks in Ohio that I've heard of, Cedar something and the other has the word King in it, I think. Tickets are expensive but people will pay and they will have a ton of fun and take pictures, etc.

The zoo makes sense to me and I wonder at people who don't want to go to the zoo every day but roller coasters?

Again, I know it doesn't make sense and that my perspective is totally different than most people's but that is what I mean by certain things about me being weird and nonsensical to myself. Don't have more than one kid or your husband will leave you and what do you mean you are taking the family to Six Flags?

Dorney Park and Wild Water Kingdom! That's the water park my mom took us to as kids. It popped into my head last (Wednesday) night and I googled it this morning to see if it was still around. It is and, evidently, it has been around since 1860 when Solomon Dorney created a fish hatchery and resort on his property. I always thought Dorney Park was just a water park, so I'm guessing we never did the amusement portion. Then again, I also assumed it was a national chain but I think, in actuality, it is only in Allentown, PA. So what do I know? 

Book Reviews

Who knew that blogging would be the new way to get reviews of a book. The Reluctant Laundress made a comment about going shamefacedly to The Marriage Plot. I had heard of that book and so threw it into my library queue as I was in need of a book. I commented on her blog that I'd picked it up and read the flap, which made me tired, only to receive a review from the lovely DWK who HATED it. I've taken that as two nominations for me to simply return the book unread and save myself the time rather than slog through for the sake of it as I did that god awful book that I shall not name again.

Sure, I know, it's odd to take advice from people you've never met. But those are two women who write blogs I greatly admire. Thus I not only trust their opinions, but I find I have a perfectly good excuse to save myself trouble and simply turn to something much more fun, easier to read, and much less loathsome. Thank you cyber ladies!

In the meantime, I am reading a Clive Cussler book. Hunter mentioned he reads Clive Cussler and, since I no longer buy books but borrow them from the library, I'm always looking for something new. So I'm reading Spartan Gold. Perhaps not any great literary grandeur (or perhaps it is, I don't know) but I'm enjoying it thus far and it's nice to read what a friend reads. Gives you a bit of insight. And since I've basically forced Hunter to read The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, I kind of owe him.

I don't hate this post but I don't feel anything warm towards it

All Work and Some Reading
I made it to page 430 of 50 Shades of Grey and then I wrote a negative review of it on Good Reads and then I spit on it and returned it to the library. OK, I didn't really spit on it. But I did shove it with unnecessary force through the drop off slot at the library. It deserved it. Fortunately, Catching Fire came in the very next day and so I wasn't long without a good book. It took me three days and now I have about six weeks to wait for the final book in the trilogy. OK, full disclosure, I finished CF last night but I was tipsy so I need to reread the last two or three chapters but I can't seem to find the damned thing. Like I said, I was tipsy. Hey, it was Friday night after a l-o-n-g week.

Every week is long these days, really. I'm in the process of learning to manage others and I'm not really enjoying it. One of the people assisting me doesn't provide me with updates as often as I'd like (or as often as I've asked) and the other updates me with this weird sense of seriousness and what I can only think of as a "dire" attitude. She's very nervous and hesitant and seems to be afraid of just diving in. It's just data entry but she's stated that the learning process and the weeding through has been a real challenge. I feel bad because I really like her and she's told me that she enjoys the work and is excited about it so I can't just yank it away from her. But I can switch it up and give her the same sort of task only one that is more straightforward. The one who doesn't update me often enough I'll talk to at our next status meeting, which I've scheduled weekly. I need to stress the fact that the work has deadlines and I need to know where she is with what she is doing on a more reliable basis. I also need to know that she truly can devote X numbers hours a week if that is what she's promised and how many hours it takes for her to complete task A B or C. If not, no big deal, I just need to know. So yeah, not enjoying this but I'm doing my best to understand that I have to do it and I have to allow for the reality that I CANNOT DO EVERY SINGLE THING. Shudder.

Dreamer, Packer, Eater, Chef
Woke up before 7 a.m. again today, a weird new Saturday habit. Was extremely exhausted of course, so I just huddled on my couch and watched Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy. I liked it but I'm not exactly sure why. I like mysteries of this type, no gore or car chases or anything like that, just intrigue and a search for an answer. It takes place during the Cold War and there is a mole in British intelligence and this older guy who was forced out is asked by a minister (Prime? I don't know) to find the mole*. Very straight forward. However, I didn't read about it so I didn't know it was set during the Cold War until I finally looked it up after obsessively trying to figure out, based on clothing, whether the film took place in the past or present. That's usually pretty easy but when you're watching something about a bunch of government men, you pretty much mainly just see men in suits. In retrospect I did think "well, I guess men probably don't wear suits to work every day anymore. Duh".

The other thing I fixated on was this actor who had a baby face. He didn't look young, he looked like a giant baby. It was really bizarre. Do you remember those old cartoons that played with Bugs Bunny and Wiley Coyote and the like, the ones with the gangsters? There was one that had the baby face and I kept thinking of him when this actor was on the screen. It wasn't funny - it was really, super, ultra creepy. But Colin Firth and Benedict Cumberbatch were also in the movie so I just looked at them and felt happy and warm.

Then I took a quick nap and dreamed I was packing so when I woke up, I packed. Oh! I just remembered that in my dream I came across a whole slew of wooden utensils, packs of them like I'd bought a nice set, forgotten about it, bought another one, and had also been gifted a set. I wonder what kind of life dream me had that required so many wooden spoons and forks and so on and so forth? Really glad I don't actually have them. Real me just has a lot of big knives, some butcher, some serrated, some others.

And now? Now I need to clean and run to the store for soda (generic diet Coke if you're interested... even if you aren't, that's what I'll get) and fight the temptation to take another nap.

*Reread this after my update (below) and saw that I originally wrote "file the mole." Under M, I would think. 

UPDATED

Gahhhhh!!!! Why the hell do kids look so forward to being grownups? I've never understood that and I feel I was always totally right to think it would suck quite a bit.

I set about doing some chores and decided to vacuum, the most odious of chores due to my shitty vacuum and the abundance of hay all around (ahem, Lord and Master likes his hay). Well, the vacuum decided to not suck up anything, not even try. So I set about the lovely task of taking out the canister, checking the filters, and taking the fucker apart, getting filthy, sweating over getting the little screws out, and then throwing my hands in the air and saying "fuck this shit" before putting on proper clothing (read: what I wore yesterday), throwing the 50 Shades* item into the dumpster, and driving to Target where I purchased a insanely expensive** new one. Sweaty and annoyed, I am now home, having put together the Shark Navigator Lift-Away and trying it out. I think it might be a success but I was pretty excited about my old Bissel so who knows. Here's hoping.

*That is my new way of defining truly disagreeable items in life. If they are really worthless and terrible, they are 50 Shades. Thus, my 50 Shades of vacuum has been thrown, with vigor, into the dumpster. 

**Well, expensive for me. It turned out to be $190 something and I know for a fact that a friend of mine who shall remain nameless and only be known as Shunter happens to have a belt that costs more. My vacuum cost less than a belt. But still.

50 Shades of Suck

Caving, once again, to cultural zeitgeist*, I borrowed Fifty Shades of Grey from the library to see what all the to do was about. I knew it had started as Twilight fan fiction and that it had some really erotic aspects to it; and that's about it. You may recall that the last time I caved and read something based on popularity was Hunger Games, which was a real pleasure and so a successful endeavor. I wish I could say the same again.

I'm on page 207 of 514 and honestly don't know if I'll finish the entire book. It's a quick read, admittedly, but a terrible one. My main issues, thus far, are:

• Poor, heavy handed writing. I get it, OK? Anastasia Steele finds Christian super hot and she is nervous around him. I get that she is naive and innocent and clumsy and shy. I don't need to continual references to these things because I haven't forgotten.
• I guess we can consider it pay back for all the time American authors have totally gotten other countries wrong but still, EL James sets her novel in the Pacific Northwest and doesn't bother to attempt to get her characters to speak like true Americans. Throwing in current band names does not make me automatically suspend my disbelief. 
• The protagonist's use of the word "crap" is gratuitous and obnoxious.
• So is her constant references to her "inner goddess".
• Actually, there is nothing I like about the protagonist. 
• Or her roommate. 
• What's with the Hispanic-American best friend named, of course, Jose? 
• I really can't believe that someone's first sexual experience would be that good and without more pain and awkwardness... but OK, this is a "romance" novel so I guess that's how we roll in romance land.

So yeah, not really feeling this book and am kind of hoping that Christian Grey anal fists Anastasia Steele because I can't stand her. I will say that I've enjoyed reading the negative reviews on Amazon though. And part of me feels compelled to power through just because I have that thing where I feel like I can't quit reading a book if I've gotten so far through it. Weird, I know, but I think many of us are like that.  So I guess that is a positive thing I can say for Fifty Shades, it isn't so unreadable that I feel OK just quitting on it.

*I know, I know, I really need to stop saying "cultural zeitgeist". That was my last one, promise.

This morning has been a weird cluster of FAIL. I needed to get quarters for laundry and my usual grocery store has been out of quarters for ages so I had to drive to a different one. I went to the customer service area and found a sign that said they were closed and would reopen at 8 a.m. Uhm, it was after 8... but of course I second guessed myself and stood there like a moron and dug out my phone to double check. I was going to ask a cashier for help when the chick who was meant to be manning the desk apologized and came to help me. Still, nothing like assuming I'm the idiot. 

I knew the pet store wouldn't be open until 9 so I took my time about driving to a different shopping center to pass time. When I did get there, I pulled on the doors to find it was still closed. The sign said "9-7 on Sunday" under hours and I thought "uhm, it is 9, isn't it?" Yep. It was 9:08. So I walked to Target to buy a belt and some juice because I was thirsty and my pants were falling down and I've needed a belt for months. 

You are enthralled by this aren't you?

So I go back to the pet store and see that the Sunday hours say "10-7 on Sunday." I have spent the last two hours wondering if someone changed it or if I'd gotten it wrong. I really wish I'd taken a picture when they were closed so I'd know for sure but it's also kind of fun to have the alternate possibility, slack employees changing the sign so they can open an hour later. Annoying too, of course, as it means I have to go back out for bedding. So I'm reading my terrible book and procrastinating because I feel like the minute I get back from the pet store I'll have to stop putting off my laundry. 

Hmm, maybe Christian's worked a few knuckles up Ana's ass by now.  

Wicked Weekend

Poor Monday, always so timid after years of being abused by the work weary masses. I overslept yet again. I actually took a nighttime cold pill last night in order to get to sleep since that is where I seem to run into trouble. Once asleep I’m good, but getting there is a challenge. So whilst I am well rested, I am also annoyed at being 20 minutes late because I’m not a big fan of my ability to turn off all four alarms I have set on my cell phone when dead asleep. But, c’est la vie. I’ll get adjusted, I’m sure.

The weekend!Well, I never did sit down with my finances but, instead, avoided the issue. But I have it written down on three separate to-do lists for today so it should get done. I have $88 in the bank until Friday and am going to stretch that shit out. Well, I have to, don’t I?

So what did I do? Well, I did a whole bunch of chores like dishes, laundry, picking up the living room, etc. I cooked a ton of bacon (the savory flavor was used as a substitute for all things sweet during my first weekend on the detox), cleaned the guinea pig cage, and sundry other things. I also had a chick in another building threaten (and possibly follow through) to call the cops on me and three friends. It was Friday night around 1:45 and we were outside chatting. Her window, on the third floor, was open and I suppose we were a bit loud with our laughter. Now, had this woman said “excuse me, can you keep it down?” things would have been fine. But she came at us like a straight up cunt so I yelled back at her. She threatened to call 911, I told her to go ahead. She kept yelling and eventually said she was going to call the cops (again) so I said “go ahead, it’s three numbers!” Then we thought we heard her actually doing it so we scrambled into our own building and respective apartments. I’m not sure what cunt thought would happen. I mean, it’s a nuisance call more than anything because she couldn’t have seen us that well and she didn’t know our names or addresses so what was she going to do? I felt a bit bad because I don’t like to cause problems but come at me like an asshole and I’m going to give it right back.

Saturday had drama of another kind with my freaking out because J was not responding to my texts. The previous night we had agreed to go to the movies together and so I was surprised when I didn’t get any replies to various messages I sent from 11:30 a.m. through 3:30 p.m. Eventually, I drove to his apartment complex and managed to get into his building (people are so trusting) and found that he was home and his ringer was off, a fact of which he was unaware. My next stop was going to be local hospitals because he never avoids me completely, even if he is upset, but will let me know, at very least, that he is OK. The day’s plans were shot but we went to a used bookstore together and agreed that he would text me the next morning when he was up and moving. We did end up going to the movies on Sunday (Sherlock Holmes: Game of Shadows, heartbreakingly disappointing) and had a coffee together so no harm no foul.

Other than that, I didn’t do much, just chores and voracious reading so that I could send one of my current books to Hunter. The book in question is Wicked, and dude, have you read this? I knew it wasn’t going to be Harry Potter or something for kids but I was not expecting the level of pornography, religious debate, and political discussion. I liked it and found it very interesting, but it was not at all what I was expecting. Also made me wonder about the mind of the author. I included a note of warning to my friend to prepare him for this book (I previously mentioned the weirdness) but I hope he reads it because it was one of the more interesting books I’ve read in quite some time.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a meeting with the Time Dragon.