Is it me?
Here is an "Am I the only one" question. You know how you'll suddenly remember something funny, usually something funny that a friend said, and find yourself laughing out loud? Am I the only one who has this happen whilst in the restroom at work while there are other women in there? That is the worst. I'll remember something hilarious, usually something that has just happened, and find myself starting to giggle out loud, remember where I am, get embarrassed, and try to play it off as a cough. I mean, it is one thing to laugh at my desk whilst remembering J telling me, years ago, about how he found himself at work whistling the Murder, She Wrote theme song, but quite another to start laughing at the term "chunky dunking" while on the toilet (chunky dunking, apparently, is skinny dipping for fat people).
It is Sunday and I've been awake since 4:30 a.m. because my body continues to hate me. I don't blame it, now that I think about it, given the way I treat myself. Here, have some pizza, booze, McDonalds, goldfish crackers, and other crap. Love you! I hate when I'm awake and tired and can't sleep. I don't even have the heat as an excuse. I got up and did some housework, loading the dishwasher, cleaning the disposal, picking up around the living room. Quite domestic considering that I sat for 1.5 hours in a sweltering laundromat yesterday (the poor owner assured everyone who came in that he had a guy working on the AC at that moment; he even gave me a bottle of water for free). But mainly I've been in bed with my Catherine the Great biography. This is a terrific book but I'm shocked at what life was like for the young Catherine. I think about empresses and princesses and imagine a world of luxury. This poor chick was imported from Germany to marry her horrible cousin and, upon marriage, she was watched all the time and cut off from her family. Sure, she lived in luxury, but psychologically, what a nightmare. And her "aunt", the empress Elizabeth, was most likely bipolar given her temperament, generous and loving one moment, flying into a rage the next. And so obsessed with Catherine and Peter's having an heir to the thrown so as to continue the Russian dynasty. Super interesting. I suggest this book absolutely.
In Old Lady News
Because the heat has turned me into someone who only talks about the weather and my pet... I got Johan back and was tickled when I saw him popcorn in his cage last night. To popcorn is to spontaneously jump into the air. Horses and gazelles do it as well but, perhaps because they are so little, guinea pigs will often turn in the air whilst jumping. It means they are really happy and exuberant. Johan doesn't do the full twists like he did when he was a baby, but he still does it from time to time. As he was in his cage at the moment, I was especially happy to know that he felt good. It's like when I hear him purr from his pigloo. It's nice to know that the little bastard is happy. Did I mention what the vet tech said when I picked him up the other day? I'd commented about his being a surly asshole and she said something to the effect of "he was nice and good... for a guinea pig". Who knew that guinea pigs were assholes?
He's got me incredibly whipped, as we all know. This morning I went to the pet store and talked with a guy who caught me in the small animals section. I was telling him about how I think Johan's pigloo might be a bit too small but the larger size was too big and I don't know for sure if Johan isn't happy with his pigloo and... I seriously stood there obsessing about this thing called a "fun tunnel"*, would Johan like it, would Johan dislike it? I bought the thing, along with vitamin C drops for his water and you know what? He sniffed it and chewed on it a bit but didn't go in it. Maybe tomorrow.
*I know, right? Fun tunnel. Sounds like a euphemism for either the vagina or the anus. Mmm, hey baby, wanna take a ride in my fun tunnel?
The other thing is amusement parks. I used to go, from time to time, to places like Six Flags and whatever that water park was called back in PA or DE. My family would go and my brothers and I loved the water parks. I remember loving the really high slide, even though it gave me (and everyone else) the worst wedgie ever. And the wave pool! Oh my the wave pool. But you know what? I'm surprised they still exist, amusement parks and water parks. Because in my head I guess people no longer want to have fun? I don't know why but for some reason I'm surprised that people still want to go to Six Flags or Disney World/Land. There are two big parks in Ohio that I've heard of, Cedar something and the other has the word King in it, I think. Tickets are expensive but people will pay and they will have a ton of fun and take pictures, etc.
The zoo makes sense to me and I wonder at people who don't want to go to the zoo every day but roller coasters?
Again, I know it doesn't make sense and that my perspective is totally different than most people's but that is what I mean by certain things about me being weird and nonsensical to myself. Don't have more than one kid or your husband will leave you and what do you mean you are taking the family to Six Flags?
Dorney Park and Wild Water Kingdom! That's the water park my mom took us to as kids. It popped into my head last (Wednesday) night and I googled it this morning to see if it was still around. It is and, evidently, it has been around since 1860 when Solomon Dorney created a fish hatchery and resort on his property. I always thought Dorney Park was just a water park, so I'm guessing we never did the amusement portion. Then again, I also assumed it was a national chain but I think, in actuality, it is only in Allentown, PA. So what do I know?
Here is an "Am I the only one" question. You know how you'll suddenly remember something funny, usually something funny that a friend said, and find yourself laughing out loud? Am I the only one who has this happen whilst in the restroom at work while there are other women in there? That is the worst. I'll remember something hilarious, usually something that has just happened, and find myself starting to giggle out loud, remember where I am, get embarrassed, and try to play it off as a cough. I mean, it is one thing to laugh at my desk whilst remembering J telling me, years ago, about how he found himself at work whistling the Murder, She Wrote theme song, but quite another to start laughing at the term "chunky dunking" while on the toilet (chunky dunking, apparently, is skinny dipping for fat people).
It is Sunday and I've been awake since 4:30 a.m. because my body continues to hate me. I don't blame it, now that I think about it, given the way I treat myself. Here, have some pizza, booze, McDonalds, goldfish crackers, and other crap. Love you! I hate when I'm awake and tired and can't sleep. I don't even have the heat as an excuse. I got up and did some housework, loading the dishwasher, cleaning the disposal, picking up around the living room. Quite domestic considering that I sat for 1.5 hours in a sweltering laundromat yesterday (the poor owner assured everyone who came in that he had a guy working on the AC at that moment; he even gave me a bottle of water for free). But mainly I've been in bed with my Catherine the Great biography. This is a terrific book but I'm shocked at what life was like for the young Catherine. I think about empresses and princesses and imagine a world of luxury. This poor chick was imported from Germany to marry her horrible cousin and, upon marriage, she was watched all the time and cut off from her family. Sure, she lived in luxury, but psychologically, what a nightmare. And her "aunt", the empress Elizabeth, was most likely bipolar given her temperament, generous and loving one moment, flying into a rage the next. And so obsessed with Catherine and Peter's having an heir to the thrown so as to continue the Russian dynasty. Super interesting. I suggest this book absolutely.
Because the heat has turned me into someone who only talks about the weather and my pet... I got Johan back and was tickled when I saw him popcorn in his cage last night. To popcorn is to spontaneously jump into the air. Horses and gazelles do it as well but, perhaps because they are so little, guinea pigs will often turn in the air whilst jumping. It means they are really happy and exuberant. Johan doesn't do the full twists like he did when he was a baby, but he still does it from time to time. As he was in his cage at the moment, I was especially happy to know that he felt good. It's like when I hear him purr from his pigloo. It's nice to know that the little bastard is happy. Did I mention what the vet tech said when I picked him up the other day? I'd commented about his being a surly asshole and she said something to the effect of "he was nice and good... for a guinea pig". Who knew that guinea pigs were assholes?
He's got me incredibly whipped, as we all know. This morning I went to the pet store and talked with a guy who caught me in the small animals section. I was telling him about how I think Johan's pigloo might be a bit too small but the larger size was too big and I don't know for sure if Johan isn't happy with his pigloo and... I seriously stood there obsessing about this thing called a "fun tunnel"*, would Johan like it, would Johan dislike it? I bought the thing, along with vitamin C drops for his water and you know what? He sniffed it and chewed on it a bit but didn't go in it. Maybe tomorrow.
*I know, right? Fun tunnel. Sounds like a euphemism for either the vagina or the anus. Mmm, hey baby, wanna take a ride in my fun tunnel?
Parks
There are certain things about me that I find really weird. Not, you know, special quirky weird, but things that just don't make sense. When a friend on facebook announces she is pregnant with a second or third child do you know what I think? I think "why would you do that? You know your husband is going to leave you so why invest in children?" How fucked up, right? But it is automatic. I just assume that people will always fall out of love and separate and that fathers will bugger off and abandon their children. I know that is wrong, I know it absolutely and I know that it stems from my own life, my father splitting on us when I was six and then dropping out of our lives and, you know, earth, when I was ten. I know that isn't the norm but it is still my instantaneous reaction to news about pregnancy.The other thing is amusement parks. I used to go, from time to time, to places like Six Flags and whatever that water park was called back in PA or DE. My family would go and my brothers and I loved the water parks. I remember loving the really high slide, even though it gave me (and everyone else) the worst wedgie ever. And the wave pool! Oh my the wave pool. But you know what? I'm surprised they still exist, amusement parks and water parks. Because in my head I guess people no longer want to have fun? I don't know why but for some reason I'm surprised that people still want to go to Six Flags or Disney World/Land. There are two big parks in Ohio that I've heard of, Cedar something and the other has the word King in it, I think. Tickets are expensive but people will pay and they will have a ton of fun and take pictures, etc.
The zoo makes sense to me and I wonder at people who don't want to go to the zoo every day but roller coasters?
Again, I know it doesn't make sense and that my perspective is totally different than most people's but that is what I mean by certain things about me being weird and nonsensical to myself. Don't have more than one kid or your husband will leave you and what do you mean you are taking the family to Six Flags?
Dorney Park and Wild Water Kingdom! That's the water park my mom took us to as kids. It popped into my head last (Wednesday) night and I googled it this morning to see if it was still around. It is and, evidently, it has been around since 1860 when Solomon Dorney created a fish hatchery and resort on his property. I always thought Dorney Park was just a water park, so I'm guessing we never did the amusement portion. Then again, I also assumed it was a national chain but I think, in actuality, it is only in Allentown, PA. So what do I know?
Cedar Points and King's Island. I have many, many fond memories of King's Island. The ex and I would white-trash camp there in their camping ground, booze up at the campsite, head to the park, then back and forth like that the whole day/night. Drunk rollercoaster riding is where it's at.
ReplyDelete'Punkin
*Cedar Point
ReplyDeleteAnd why can't I ever remember who's Punkin and Puddin?
Sheesh.
You had it right this time, Punkin'. :)
ReplyDelete