I'm also impatient so some of these may be repeats because I can't be bothered to dig through my blog.
1: I have a gold medal. I took part in Odyssey of the Mind in 8th grade and we ended up going to "worlds". My forte was verbal spontaneous and we won the state of Delaware. We did poorly at worlds and I blame my ineptitude during physical spontaneous, which they made me take part in, for our poor show. But still, I have a gold medal. Holler.
2: I speak weirdly. As we all know, I am unobservant and assume everyone is like me but nope! I once said something to the effect of "s/he is no great shakes" and J insisted that this was not a real saying, that it was just something I picked up from my mother. It wasn't until he read The Wind-up Bird Chronicles, a novel by a Japanese author who used that phrase, that he finally believed me. I swear profusely and recently said to Birdy "Hey Twinkie, how are you!?" My dad called me Twinkie. Birdy said "it reminds me of my stripper days" and I tried to insist that Twinkie was the worst name for a stripper. The next day, coincidentally, Hunter said to me in an IM "I'm kidding, french fry." I decided French Fry would be my stripper name and so Birdy and I will dance at the worst strip club ever.
3: One of my worst habits is saying things like "suck my dick" and "eat my shit". I haven't actually said the latter in years because it drove J crazy. "You are the most vulgar person I've ever known... and I'm from New Castle." But I still say "suck my dick" and get pissed off when people want to bring up the fact that I do not, actually have a dick. After all, if one guy says that to another, he isn't being literal, now is he?
4: Some of my fondest memories take place under my Viking's back porch where Teacher and I had a board of wood, a sheet of metal, and a paint can opener. It was our bat cave.
5: I think my mother and my sister in law would do anything they could to prevent Teacher and I from swapping what we consider "funny stories" because they are embarrassed and uncomfortable when he and I get into it and start laughing the way we do. We shake, make no noise, and look like we are having fits. But I think Teacher and I delight in one another like no other.
6: I commonly forget myself when on the phone with reviewers when they call me after hours and say things like "fuck." They are always gracious about it.
7: My brothers and I all have weak bones. Teacher once did a somersault in a pool and broke his foot. I once broke my arm when I turned to give my best friend, Christa, a dirty look and fell on the curb. Eldest brother broke the same arm something like 7 times. I think I've only broken my arm twice and, possibly, a toe once. Oh, and I broke my head open. But I was two.
8: I've owned the same stuffed cow since I was 3 or 4 and I take great pride in the fact that his yarn smile is still intact.
9: My parents were so certain I'd be a boy because they'd had two boys previously and ultrasounds were not done regularly in 1980. They had the name Vincent all picked out. According to my mother, it took five days to come up with the name they gave me and her father said "well, you can always change it later". I plan on doing that if I ever get divorced.
1: I have a gold medal. I took part in Odyssey of the Mind in 8th grade and we ended up going to "worlds". My forte was verbal spontaneous and we won the state of Delaware. We did poorly at worlds and I blame my ineptitude during physical spontaneous, which they made me take part in, for our poor show. But still, I have a gold medal. Holler.
2: I speak weirdly. As we all know, I am unobservant and assume everyone is like me but nope! I once said something to the effect of "s/he is no great shakes" and J insisted that this was not a real saying, that it was just something I picked up from my mother. It wasn't until he read The Wind-up Bird Chronicles, a novel by a Japanese author who used that phrase, that he finally believed me. I swear profusely and recently said to Birdy "Hey Twinkie, how are you!?" My dad called me Twinkie. Birdy said "it reminds me of my stripper days" and I tried to insist that Twinkie was the worst name for a stripper. The next day, coincidentally, Hunter said to me in an IM "I'm kidding, french fry." I decided French Fry would be my stripper name and so Birdy and I will dance at the worst strip club ever.
3: One of my worst habits is saying things like "suck my dick" and "eat my shit". I haven't actually said the latter in years because it drove J crazy. "You are the most vulgar person I've ever known... and I'm from New Castle." But I still say "suck my dick" and get pissed off when people want to bring up the fact that I do not, actually have a dick. After all, if one guy says that to another, he isn't being literal, now is he?
4: Some of my fondest memories take place under my Viking's back porch where Teacher and I had a board of wood, a sheet of metal, and a paint can opener. It was our bat cave.
5: I think my mother and my sister in law would do anything they could to prevent Teacher and I from swapping what we consider "funny stories" because they are embarrassed and uncomfortable when he and I get into it and start laughing the way we do. We shake, make no noise, and look like we are having fits. But I think Teacher and I delight in one another like no other.
6: I commonly forget myself when on the phone with reviewers when they call me after hours and say things like "fuck." They are always gracious about it.
7: My brothers and I all have weak bones. Teacher once did a somersault in a pool and broke his foot. I once broke my arm when I turned to give my best friend, Christa, a dirty look and fell on the curb. Eldest brother broke the same arm something like 7 times. I think I've only broken my arm twice and, possibly, a toe once. Oh, and I broke my head open. But I was two.
8: I've owned the same stuffed cow since I was 3 or 4 and I take great pride in the fact that his yarn smile is still intact.
9: My parents were so certain I'd be a boy because they'd had two boys previously and ultrasounds were not done regularly in 1980. They had the name Vincent all picked out. According to my mother, it took five days to come up with the name they gave me and her father said "well, you can always change it later". I plan on doing that if I ever get divorced.
Vincent Gambino would be a fine name.
ReplyDelete