Title makes it look like I'm going to talk about taxes, doesn't it? But mine were done and filed long ago and I think everyone has until Tuesday this year. No, I just figured it would be an easy way to title a post (and we all know that I hate titling posts).
Formal Wear
Columbus is beautiful today, all washed and shiny from yesterday's rain, the grass putting on it's greenest and the sky delighting in itself. Not that I'm actually outside taking advantage of it or anything. I only know that it is a glorious day because I've been hauling my laundry, once again doing it in shifts because I'm twelve years old and refuse to attend to my laundry until I'm up against an underpantsless wall. So instead of taking a walk and enjoying the Spring air, my interaction with the day and the outdoors has turned into resentment against my stupid towels and stupid underpants and stupid work clothes because it's their fault that I can't be outside enjoying the weather. Still, I enjoy it when my city looks its finest and I actually notice. It's like receiving an unexpected gift and I get a little spring in my step and I decide to work on my attitude just a bit because, after all, Columbus is being gorgeous and I don't want to make her look bad. So well done, Coly, well done indeed.
I don't actually dislike doing laundry, by the way. If I had my own machines it would be done on a far more regular basis than it is now. I don't even necessarily object to having to do my laundry outside my apartment. No, it's the fact that I have to haul it two buildings over that makes me feel exhausted just thinking about it. It's nonsensical, actually, because it should be the other way round. Because I have to carry my laundry two buildings over, why not do it on a regular basis in order to keep the load lighter? Because I'm a lazy child who is a very slow learner, that's why. I end up doing it in shifts because I always have at least two loads by the time I'm forced to wash my clothes (I think I have two more to go, actually, but I've run out of quarters) and I used to take it all in one go and it would be a torturous walk for me and my weak upper body. Now I simply take one load in, put it in the washer, and, when it is time to change over to the dryer, I bring a second load to start the wash cycle. And I just reconcile myself to the fact that a good portion of my day is going to be spent around laundry.
I'm somewhat pathological about laundry, aren't I? I believe that every time I do it, I end up writing about it here with the rest of my nonsense and bullshit. The fact that laundry day means a lot of sitting around the apartment waiting to change machines or pick up a load means I have plenty of time to bore the internet. And a lot of opportunities to say the word "load" which makes me uncomfortable and squirmy.
Anaerobic
I'm being far more productive today than I was yesterday because I have the emotional wherewithal to do so. I got into a "thing" with Bluebell, a good friend, yesterday, and it caused for a lot of misunderstanding, confusion, and panic, on both our parts I believe. When things get super stressy and overwhelming at work, I end up second guessing myself and fearing that I've snapped at others and so I end up sending needless apology emails to people who reply with "huh?" and "what the heck are you talking about?" Actually, Birdy replied with something more akin to "did someone chew you out about not being professional or something? I have no idea what you're talking about."
I do this because I don't like misunderstandings and I want my feelings and actions to be crystal clear. And that is just with work colleagues and/or work friends. Yesterday's misunderstanding was with a very important friend and it was a mixture of my not understanding a situation and overreacting out of the same type of paranoia that leads me to confuse Birdy with my emails. It resolved itself and everything is fine and both Bluebell and I know what is going on and I apologized twice and the world keeps on spinning. But it took up most of my mind and so I wasn't able to function properly. Confusion, fear, and the anticipation of sadness or negative feelings paralyzes me apparently.
The other event that took up my time yesterday was a very weird conversation with my mother. A few months ago, BFF and her husband contemplated moving to Colorado for a job opportunity. I told my mother about this because, you know, she's my mom and for all I complain about her, she's a nice lady and takes an interest in the people in my life. She asked me yesterday about whether or not anything came from the CO talk and I told her that no, it didn't work out, so they are staying in Florida for now, which isn't terrible because they have a lot of family and friends down there. Mom then let me know that she was disappointed because she thought having a friend in CO would be an inducement to convince me to move there myself.
She'd mentioned this before, the idea that I move to CO. Let's remember that my mother lives in Arizona so what the fuck? This time I decided to just ask her outright, why do you want me to move to CO. "Because I don't like the idea of your being single and alone in Ohio and I thought if BFF moved to CO, you would have a friend there as well as family." I have first and second cousins in the Denver area, this is true. And they are super nice people and I like them, but I don't see them often at all and I wouldn't be hanging out with them all the time if we lived in the same city because I know them because they are related to me, not because we had some great times in high school or college together and formed a close bond. "I prefer to keep at least one state between me and family," I replied. "And if I move anywhere, it will be to our Texas office because I actually like what I do and I have a couple of friends there, including Hunter and Austin. Do you remember Austin? He dated Spark Plug for awhile. Now he's married and they just had their first baby not long ago."
See what I did there? Basically told my mother "screw family" but tried to cover my tracks by giving her some newsy information on an old friend from college. It sort of worked but it sort of backfired because the next thing she said was "I worry about you moving to place with married men as your "Friends". They have family commitments and you do not need to be involved with a man with "marital issues.'' Just saying." That was her knee jerk reaction, word for word (though I cleaned up her typos... mom's rocking an iPhone these days). But she's known me for 31 years so she shouldn't have been surprised when I came right back with "But BFF is a married woman with a 10 month old (she's walking and cute as a button by the way) so she wouldn't have loads of time for me either." That's right, play the naive-what-do-you-mean card.
Hunter and Austin better warn their wives because they apparently already have "marital issues" according to my mother. What's more, they better hope I don't ever transfer to the Dallas office because this bitch over here is a man eater and will just destroy the fuck out of their marriages. I had no idea that I was such a seductress or temptress. Mother knows best I suppose.
Formal Wear
Columbus is beautiful today, all washed and shiny from yesterday's rain, the grass putting on it's greenest and the sky delighting in itself. Not that I'm actually outside taking advantage of it or anything. I only know that it is a glorious day because I've been hauling my laundry, once again doing it in shifts because I'm twelve years old and refuse to attend to my laundry until I'm up against an underpantsless wall. So instead of taking a walk and enjoying the Spring air, my interaction with the day and the outdoors has turned into resentment against my stupid towels and stupid underpants and stupid work clothes because it's their fault that I can't be outside enjoying the weather. Still, I enjoy it when my city looks its finest and I actually notice. It's like receiving an unexpected gift and I get a little spring in my step and I decide to work on my attitude just a bit because, after all, Columbus is being gorgeous and I don't want to make her look bad. So well done, Coly, well done indeed.
I don't actually dislike doing laundry, by the way. If I had my own machines it would be done on a far more regular basis than it is now. I don't even necessarily object to having to do my laundry outside my apartment. No, it's the fact that I have to haul it two buildings over that makes me feel exhausted just thinking about it. It's nonsensical, actually, because it should be the other way round. Because I have to carry my laundry two buildings over, why not do it on a regular basis in order to keep the load lighter? Because I'm a lazy child who is a very slow learner, that's why. I end up doing it in shifts because I always have at least two loads by the time I'm forced to wash my clothes (I think I have two more to go, actually, but I've run out of quarters) and I used to take it all in one go and it would be a torturous walk for me and my weak upper body. Now I simply take one load in, put it in the washer, and, when it is time to change over to the dryer, I bring a second load to start the wash cycle. And I just reconcile myself to the fact that a good portion of my day is going to be spent around laundry.
I'm somewhat pathological about laundry, aren't I? I believe that every time I do it, I end up writing about it here with the rest of my nonsense and bullshit. The fact that laundry day means a lot of sitting around the apartment waiting to change machines or pick up a load means I have plenty of time to bore the internet. And a lot of opportunities to say the word "load" which makes me uncomfortable and squirmy.
Anaerobic
I'm being far more productive today than I was yesterday because I have the emotional wherewithal to do so. I got into a "thing" with Bluebell, a good friend, yesterday, and it caused for a lot of misunderstanding, confusion, and panic, on both our parts I believe. When things get super stressy and overwhelming at work, I end up second guessing myself and fearing that I've snapped at others and so I end up sending needless apology emails to people who reply with "huh?" and "what the heck are you talking about?" Actually, Birdy replied with something more akin to "did someone chew you out about not being professional or something? I have no idea what you're talking about."
I do this because I don't like misunderstandings and I want my feelings and actions to be crystal clear. And that is just with work colleagues and/or work friends. Yesterday's misunderstanding was with a very important friend and it was a mixture of my not understanding a situation and overreacting out of the same type of paranoia that leads me to confuse Birdy with my emails. It resolved itself and everything is fine and both Bluebell and I know what is going on and I apologized twice and the world keeps on spinning. But it took up most of my mind and so I wasn't able to function properly. Confusion, fear, and the anticipation of sadness or negative feelings paralyzes me apparently.
The other event that took up my time yesterday was a very weird conversation with my mother. A few months ago, BFF and her husband contemplated moving to Colorado for a job opportunity. I told my mother about this because, you know, she's my mom and for all I complain about her, she's a nice lady and takes an interest in the people in my life. She asked me yesterday about whether or not anything came from the CO talk and I told her that no, it didn't work out, so they are staying in Florida for now, which isn't terrible because they have a lot of family and friends down there. Mom then let me know that she was disappointed because she thought having a friend in CO would be an inducement to convince me to move there myself.
She'd mentioned this before, the idea that I move to CO. Let's remember that my mother lives in Arizona so what the fuck? This time I decided to just ask her outright, why do you want me to move to CO. "Because I don't like the idea of your being single and alone in Ohio and I thought if BFF moved to CO, you would have a friend there as well as family." I have first and second cousins in the Denver area, this is true. And they are super nice people and I like them, but I don't see them often at all and I wouldn't be hanging out with them all the time if we lived in the same city because I know them because they are related to me, not because we had some great times in high school or college together and formed a close bond. "I prefer to keep at least one state between me and family," I replied. "And if I move anywhere, it will be to our Texas office because I actually like what I do and I have a couple of friends there, including Hunter and Austin. Do you remember Austin? He dated Spark Plug for awhile. Now he's married and they just had their first baby not long ago."
See what I did there? Basically told my mother "screw family" but tried to cover my tracks by giving her some newsy information on an old friend from college. It sort of worked but it sort of backfired because the next thing she said was "I worry about you moving to place with married men as your "Friends". They have family commitments and you do not need to be involved with a man with "marital issues.'' Just saying." That was her knee jerk reaction, word for word (though I cleaned up her typos... mom's rocking an iPhone these days). But she's known me for 31 years so she shouldn't have been surprised when I came right back with "But BFF is a married woman with a 10 month old (she's walking and cute as a button by the way) so she wouldn't have loads of time for me either." That's right, play the naive-what-do-you-mean card.
Hunter and Austin better warn their wives because they apparently already have "marital issues" according to my mother. What's more, they better hope I don't ever transfer to the Dallas office because this bitch over here is a man eater and will just destroy the fuck out of their marriages. I had no idea that I was such a seductress or temptress. Mother knows best I suppose.
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