A Perfectly Thursday Sort of Post

Oh So Inappropriate
Oh cell phones! Aren't they wonderful? My favorite thing is getting a text from someone I don't know and then responding inappropriately. The following exchange took place yesterday evening.

Stranger: "Hey mommy this is mi new phone."
Me: "Mommy's at the neighbor's helping him lay some pipe."

Hey, I didn't know I was talking to a twelve year old until after she harassed me for a bit and I told her, for a second time, to leave me alone. I really hope the name she gave me was fake but, with kids, you never can tell. Explains her terrible spelling though. Her response to my pipe laying remark was unintelligible. But I think she's white because she went on to tell "mommy" that she was dating a black boy named KD.

Has anyone else noticed how sexy our government has gotten? I don't think it has been so sexy since Clinton was in office sexing up the interns. Now the Secret Service is getting in on the action with their Colombian hookers.  I, personally, see nothing wrong with hookers and nothing wrong with men paying for them, so part of me thinks this whole to-do is a non-issue. Rather, I would think that if we were talking about the American Men's Olympic Gymnastics team or The Ohio State University's football team. But we aren't; we are talking about the Secret Service. Does it bother me that they hired some prostitutes period? Absolutely not. But if you have the fucking word "secret" anywhere in your job description or divisional title, then act smarter and don't get caught. And if you are going to hire a prostitute, pay her for her services. That is just good manners. No haggling, OK? And no, your penis and your performance are probably not adequate compensation.

Petty Annoyances

The following are trivial things that I find to be irksome.We all have them and they are usually really minor. Feel free to share your own. Mine all happen to have to do with work because that's where I am most of the day.

• The smell of lean cuisine type meals heating up in the microwave. It never really bothered me until I began working at a company where so many people heat up these things at or around the same time.
• The smell of popcorn. Ditto above.
• When I tell my boss I'm pressed for time, he comes over to talk to me about what can be delegated, and then proceeds to engage me in idyll chit chat for fifteen minutes. 
• Voice mail messages.
• The fact that the clocks on our computers and the clocks on our telephones do not match up. It used to be worse, with a two or three minute discrepancy, but even the weird thirty minute lag time irritates me.
• When I receive a request from someone who basically wants me to be a middle man for no good reason. Sally Sunshine is contacted by someone about having misplaced his manual. Sally emails me and asks me to forward the manual. Sally has fucking access to the manual but has decided I'm the one who needs to send it. Sally Sunshine should work for the government.
• When people reply all on email chains without considering who "all" comprises. 
• Having to lock up everything even if I'm just walking down to the printer. 
• When people hold teleconferences in cubicles or in offices with the door open so we can all hear.
• When I repeatedly x out of programs I need to keep open because I have so many windows open and there is a delay in closing the ones I don't need to keep up and so I double click the x.
• The curve in my spine that I'm developing from my desk job... not that I want to be out in the field running through obstacle courses or anything.