And then she laughed

Let's stop with the boo hooing, shall we? That's the sort of them I seem to take with this blog, post something upsetting and then try to write about the lighter side of things. Two friends contacted me early in the day to see if I was feeling OK because they both knew how upset I was about my day yesterday. I felt miserable, and still do, but I try to make it a point to enjoy things as well, no matter how much I feel like ass. So, onward.

Remember how I had to clean out the refrigerators at work and I said that people know I'm not fucking around? Part of this duty includes sending out reminders, one on the Monday before the clean out and one on the morning of the clean out. Mine, on Friday, read something like this:

"This is your final notice that the refrigerators in the break room will be cleared out today. Anything that is left in the fridges between 3:30 and 3:45 is going in the trash. I don't care what it is. In fact, if there is fancy tupperware or a nice, cloth lunch bag, I'm going to put it in my car so you can't dig it out of the trash because I'm a petty, vindictive soul. No emails or post it notes will be honored...without a monetary bribe (checks will be accepted with a government issued ID."

So, earlier today, I ran into a relatively new nurse in the break room and she commented that I'd cracked her up with my email. She went on to say that she thought it was funny when I'd sent out the notice stating "you may put your items back in the refrigerators. Thank you for the vegetable platter." Because someone left an unopened package of cut up veggies and dip. I told the nurse that it turned out to be past its sell by date but that I'd planned to take it home to my guinea pig.

"Your what?"
"My guinea pig."

And that's when it happened. "You have a guinea pig!? Oh, my girls had those when they were smaller!" She proceeded to recount her experience with what turned out to be either gerbils or hamsters. At the end I said "yeah, but I have a guinea pig, it isn't the same thing." She responded with "no, I know, but now, my oldest girl, she lives out in Sacramento, she has rats!" I say guinea pig and you say whatever small rodent you can think of. Totally the same thing. 

The second funny thing isn't really that funny but I'm posting it as one of the funnier conversations from my day. Over texts:

BFF: "You doing ok?"
ME: "I'd like to punch Doe in the tit but I'm hanging in there."
BFF: ":(. Yeah. Read ur blog."
ME: "The Doe comment was actually about today. But Hunter called this a.m. to check on me and he made me laugh so I'm holding it together. May need anxiety meds."
BFF: "Well hit me up on msngr if u want to chat later."
ME: "Will do. Eating an apple and am convinced it will help."

Because I thought "anti anxiety medication" and then thought "meh, I'll eat an apple instead." And it made perfect sense to me.