The only things I can think to say are "I'm sorry" and "thank you." You have been the most influential person in my life and I meant it when I told you that I'm a better person because of you.
I miss who we were because we aren't those people any more. For better or for worse, we've both changed a great deal over the last few years and the match just unmatched. I do love you. I always will love you. But I truly believe that if we didn't come to this realization now, we'd end up one of those miserable, sexless couples who gripe about one another so much that people ask "then why are you still together?" I think we would eventually stop liking one another. And I don't want either of us to give up on life this early.
You will find someone who has the qualities that you liked in me. You'll find someone who is genuinely nice and kind to you, someone who makes you laugh and who you think is cute. Steer clear of the crazies, though, OK? Because if there is one thing we can probably agree on it is that I'm bat shit insane at moments and that is a lot to deal with just for me, let alone another person who has to just live through it with me. A nice, responsible, mature girl, one who doesn't have a reckless, self-destructive side maybe. Or whatever you, whoever you want. I'm not the one to tell you.
Give yourself a break once in awhile, OK? You really are an extraordinary guy with so much intelligence and talent. It's time you stopped buying the bullshit you always sell yourself because you deserve so much better. I've been telling you that for seven years. I'm not suggesting you start daily affirmation or that you start acting like an arrogant ass hat; but maybe once in awhile just realize that you aren't a terrible guy. Because you aren't.
And I'm so sorry for everything, things that were my fault, things that were not. I'm sorry that this had to become bad and that it had to end. I'm sorry that everyone thinks that you left me because of the MS and that I have to tell them to calm the fuck down. I'm sorry for all those times I ate in the bed, for sleeping with so many stuffed animals. I'm sorry that you are allergic to the pig.
I'm sorry. I love you. I thank you.
I miss who we were because we aren't those people any more. For better or for worse, we've both changed a great deal over the last few years and the match just unmatched. I do love you. I always will love you. But I truly believe that if we didn't come to this realization now, we'd end up one of those miserable, sexless couples who gripe about one another so much that people ask "then why are you still together?" I think we would eventually stop liking one another. And I don't want either of us to give up on life this early.
You will find someone who has the qualities that you liked in me. You'll find someone who is genuinely nice and kind to you, someone who makes you laugh and who you think is cute. Steer clear of the crazies, though, OK? Because if there is one thing we can probably agree on it is that I'm bat shit insane at moments and that is a lot to deal with just for me, let alone another person who has to just live through it with me. A nice, responsible, mature girl, one who doesn't have a reckless, self-destructive side maybe. Or whatever you, whoever you want. I'm not the one to tell you.
Give yourself a break once in awhile, OK? You really are an extraordinary guy with so much intelligence and talent. It's time you stopped buying the bullshit you always sell yourself because you deserve so much better. I've been telling you that for seven years. I'm not suggesting you start daily affirmation or that you start acting like an arrogant ass hat; but maybe once in awhile just realize that you aren't a terrible guy. Because you aren't.
And I'm so sorry for everything, things that were my fault, things that were not. I'm sorry that this had to become bad and that it had to end. I'm sorry that everyone thinks that you left me because of the MS and that I have to tell them to calm the fuck down. I'm sorry for all those times I ate in the bed, for sleeping with so many stuffed animals. I'm sorry that you are allergic to the pig.
I'm sorry. I love you. I thank you.
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