Catharsis

Well that was interesting

Last night's post was very much what I would call an "emotional vomiting" as Ms. McFann described the word 'catharsis' in my 12th grade English class. I finally faced my fears and wrote them down and was balls to the wall honest. It felt good, even while it felt bad, to let it out.

And how did I follow that up? A night filled with sickness featuring me puking so much that I thought I must be molting. Well no, that isn't true. I initially followed it up with a very sweet friend who sat on my floor with me and talked about what was going on. She also loaned me three books, two of which are all about the "bad girls" of the Bible. Yeah, she is a Christian. She knows I'm an atheist but explained that things still apply. She's just really very nice and I spent a good portion of my morning reading one of these books and enjoyed it indeed. But about an hour after she left, it was full on vomiting.

At first I thought it must have been something I ate. I've had food poisoning twice in my life, the first time at a sleepover where I stained the rug (of a rented home no less), the second time requiring brief hospitalization to rehydrate me. But, I somehow reasoned, I'd only eaten eggplant so how could that have hurt me? Then I thought of my boss, who had been out ill so I texted him. In the end, I realized I was sick because of hubris. I'd met up with a friend who has children and she warned me that both her kids and her husband had been yakking all day. My head said "oh, they have flu. I don't get flu. No biggie." Yeah, that doesn't work when the sick people don't actually have flu. Turns out they had a 24 hour bug (my friend assured me she was throwing up at the same time I started) that I was lucky enough to catch.

But I thought it was fitting, in a way. I had no idea the two month mark would hit me as hard as it did and I'm weirdly pleased that my body and my mind were in sync with the catharsis.

Not that I would like to experience it again, mind.