It is beyond cliche and banal to say that having friends is important. This is a given as we all need at least one human connection in order to keep from murdering ourselves or others (or both, whatev). But I think having specific friends is really what gets me through life.
K is my best girlfriend, my BFF, my little bit of self down in Florida. We get along great, make each other laugh, care about one another, and just really get along well. When we first became friends, she was living in Ohio and it became routine that I would spend my weekends at her place, boozing, having a good time, talking, etc. We get along so well that we were even trapped in her apartment for a weekend due to an almost blizzard. We didn't irritate one another once.
More importantly right now is the fact that I am in a place in life that she's visited. She's been married twice now, her divorce being what prompted her to move back to her home state. It was difficult for her when she realized that her feelings had changed and that her marriage wasn't working out so she understands how I feel when I tell her I think it is over with J but that I'm afraid to tell him because I don't want to hurt him (because not telling him and drawing this out is not at all hurtful?) and I don't want to jump the gun and make the wrong decision. K gets that because she's lived that. It is comforting to talk to someone who really understands your situation, even if they can't do anything to fix it or repair it.
She also understands the other complications, things I refuse to write about here or elsewhere, not even my real, paper journal. I can talk to K about them because she totally gets it. And that's what I've been needing, someone who knows me and my situation, who knows the cast of characters, and who has some experience with all that I'm going through. Because sometimes I need more than a shoulder to cry on or a sympathetic ear; sometimes I need a person to be an active participant in the conversation, not just a listener. You can't analyze things or discuss them or work through them if all you are doing is talking at someone. Sometimes you just need the voice of someone who understands to help you make it through.
K is my best girlfriend, my BFF, my little bit of self down in Florida. We get along great, make each other laugh, care about one another, and just really get along well. When we first became friends, she was living in Ohio and it became routine that I would spend my weekends at her place, boozing, having a good time, talking, etc. We get along so well that we were even trapped in her apartment for a weekend due to an almost blizzard. We didn't irritate one another once.
More importantly right now is the fact that I am in a place in life that she's visited. She's been married twice now, her divorce being what prompted her to move back to her home state. It was difficult for her when she realized that her feelings had changed and that her marriage wasn't working out so she understands how I feel when I tell her I think it is over with J but that I'm afraid to tell him because I don't want to hurt him (because not telling him and drawing this out is not at all hurtful?) and I don't want to jump the gun and make the wrong decision. K gets that because she's lived that. It is comforting to talk to someone who really understands your situation, even if they can't do anything to fix it or repair it.
She also understands the other complications, things I refuse to write about here or elsewhere, not even my real, paper journal. I can talk to K about them because she totally gets it. And that's what I've been needing, someone who knows me and my situation, who knows the cast of characters, and who has some experience with all that I'm going through. Because sometimes I need more than a shoulder to cry on or a sympathetic ear; sometimes I need a person to be an active participant in the conversation, not just a listener. You can't analyze things or discuss them or work through them if all you are doing is talking at someone. Sometimes you just need the voice of someone who understands to help you make it through.
They also hold back your hair when you hurl.
ReplyDeleteThat goes without saying, Chey. She also holds my hand and buys me corn dogs when I have a shame hangover.
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