Remember that time I decided I should try to curb my swearing and I tried for about two days because someone asked me how it was going and I said something like "fuck, dude, I don't fucking know" and realized that I really didn't? And remember how I then said "fuck it" and decided I wasn't going to work on that anymore? Well that was fine and let's face it, I'm never going to clean up my language. Why add the pressure to myself? The important thing is that I'm aware of it and I do actually curb myself when necessary (at client meetings, when talking to someone high up in the company that I don't really know, etc). What I didn't realize is that I evidently subconsciously do things to prevent swearing in those situations. I realized that this morning when I left super early to get to my meeting down town. Granted, I tend to leave early to allow time for getting lost, but I also realized that part of the reason I try to ensure I'm early for things is because being late frustrates me and when I'm frustrated, I tend to express it with a nice tide of swearing.
OK, here's an example. The first time Hunter and I went to lunch together, I didn't really know him that well. All I knew was that he was higher up in the company and that he was from one of the corporate offices. Well, obviously I knew that he was nice and I enjoyed talking to him or else why the fuck would I go to lunch with the guy? That isn't the point, the point is, I knew kind of little about him. So, when we were going to lunch, I drove because I like driving, I'm kind of bad with directions because I'm not visual, and because he was buying lunch and if you're buying me lunch and I'm not blowing you in return, the least I can do is drive*. So, I'm driving, we've established that. We were also talking about something and I don't recall what but I do know that I realized I had missed a turn and that frustrated me so I said something very similar to the following "shit. Fuck, I missed the turn because I was talking and not paying attention. Mother fucker. Hang on, I have to find place to turn the fuck around."
When we got to the restaurant Hunter looked at me and said "well, now I know something about you. You swear like a sailor." Because when I swear impulsively, I'm not giving you hells and damns, I'm saying shit, fuck, cunt, mother fucker, and whatever horrible word is in there dancing around dying to be let out. Obviously he wasn't offended and didn't think less of me or anything like that as we are still really great friends and hung out this week and all of that. But who the fuck just lets loose with "mother fucker" and "shit" in the presence of someone who can be described as a corporate** vice president of the company you work for? Talk about lacking a filter. Hunter could have gone to my boss, asking him to speak with me about my language and then PW would be mentoring me and I'd feel like a chastened child.
The point is, I swear when frustrated. And it takes me a long time to say that, apparently.
The meeting downtown was fine by the way, though my getting their was pretty hysterical. Remember how my boss told me I had to look better than just my usual "I don't look too much like ass today"? Well, I did as requested and put on black trousers (the ones that always want to fall down) and black heals. I also just decided that today was going to be a fine, balmy day, so I threw on a denim jacket and grabbed my things and left the house. It was a little nippy out but no big deal and so I stopped at McDonalds for a large diet Coke to suck down on my way downtown. I get to the parking garage and that's all fine and well and I grab my stuff and start heading out. I had printed out directions that I'd had emailed to me and I clutched them like a fucking treasure map. They referenced a pedestrian foot path and my tiny little brain read "pedestrian tunnel crossing" so I walked around the garage looking for this tunnel*** before going down the stairs and outside onto the street thinking "fine, whatev, I'll just cross the street like a commoner and worry about this mythical bridge later." As soon as I crossed the street I realized it was not only frigid outside, but windy as hell. The entire time I was walking it was like I was in a wind tunnel, like mother nature thought "fuck you, Cat, you think you can decide how I'm going to be? Take this, bitch". And remember, I'm wearing pants that are loose so I'm walking, clutching my directions, holding onto my briefcase, and continually yanking up my pants. I'm also wearing heals and walking into the wind so I'm think "fuck, please don't let me fall" because I have a history of doing so in public.
But whatever, I got to the building and was in plenty of time for the meeting so it was all fine and dandy. Still, I walked in and thought "why do they let me out without some sort of attendant?" And when the meeting was over and I headed back for my car, I realized that if I'd known where this place was, I could have made a beeline for it instead of walking all the way around this park/courtyard area and taking extra time being face raped by the wind.
All in all, good start to a Friday, wouldn't you say?(I forgot my footnotes!)
*No, if you insist on buying lunch and driving, this does NOT mean I'm automatically going to blow you.
**Just threw that in there because it irritates him when people refer to him as Corporate. He is though. I work for a division and he works for the corporate parent company.
***To my credit, there once was a tunnel bridge thing there. It led from the parking garage to what was called "City Center", this weird little mall. I never took it because I didn't know where the entrance was but it did exist at one time. You'd think the fact that the City Center is gone and replaced with a park would give me a clue as the non-existance of the bridge.
OK, here's an example. The first time Hunter and I went to lunch together, I didn't really know him that well. All I knew was that he was higher up in the company and that he was from one of the corporate offices. Well, obviously I knew that he was nice and I enjoyed talking to him or else why the fuck would I go to lunch with the guy? That isn't the point, the point is, I knew kind of little about him. So, when we were going to lunch, I drove because I like driving, I'm kind of bad with directions because I'm not visual, and because he was buying lunch and if you're buying me lunch and I'm not blowing you in return, the least I can do is drive*. So, I'm driving, we've established that. We were also talking about something and I don't recall what but I do know that I realized I had missed a turn and that frustrated me so I said something very similar to the following "shit. Fuck, I missed the turn because I was talking and not paying attention. Mother fucker. Hang on, I have to find place to turn the fuck around."
When we got to the restaurant Hunter looked at me and said "well, now I know something about you. You swear like a sailor." Because when I swear impulsively, I'm not giving you hells and damns, I'm saying shit, fuck, cunt, mother fucker, and whatever horrible word is in there dancing around dying to be let out. Obviously he wasn't offended and didn't think less of me or anything like that as we are still really great friends and hung out this week and all of that. But who the fuck just lets loose with "mother fucker" and "shit" in the presence of someone who can be described as a corporate** vice president of the company you work for? Talk about lacking a filter. Hunter could have gone to my boss, asking him to speak with me about my language and then PW would be mentoring me and I'd feel like a chastened child.
The point is, I swear when frustrated. And it takes me a long time to say that, apparently.
The meeting downtown was fine by the way, though my getting their was pretty hysterical. Remember how my boss told me I had to look better than just my usual "I don't look too much like ass today"? Well, I did as requested and put on black trousers (the ones that always want to fall down) and black heals. I also just decided that today was going to be a fine, balmy day, so I threw on a denim jacket and grabbed my things and left the house. It was a little nippy out but no big deal and so I stopped at McDonalds for a large diet Coke to suck down on my way downtown. I get to the parking garage and that's all fine and well and I grab my stuff and start heading out. I had printed out directions that I'd had emailed to me and I clutched them like a fucking treasure map. They referenced a pedestrian foot path and my tiny little brain read "pedestrian tunnel crossing" so I walked around the garage looking for this tunnel*** before going down the stairs and outside onto the street thinking "fine, whatev, I'll just cross the street like a commoner and worry about this mythical bridge later." As soon as I crossed the street I realized it was not only frigid outside, but windy as hell. The entire time I was walking it was like I was in a wind tunnel, like mother nature thought "fuck you, Cat, you think you can decide how I'm going to be? Take this, bitch". And remember, I'm wearing pants that are loose so I'm walking, clutching my directions, holding onto my briefcase, and continually yanking up my pants. I'm also wearing heals and walking into the wind so I'm think "fuck, please don't let me fall" because I have a history of doing so in public.
But whatever, I got to the building and was in plenty of time for the meeting so it was all fine and dandy. Still, I walked in and thought "why do they let me out without some sort of attendant?" And when the meeting was over and I headed back for my car, I realized that if I'd known where this place was, I could have made a beeline for it instead of walking all the way around this park/courtyard area and taking extra time being face raped by the wind.
All in all, good start to a Friday, wouldn't you say?(I forgot my footnotes!)
*No, if you insist on buying lunch and driving, this does NOT mean I'm automatically going to blow you.
**Just threw that in there because it irritates him when people refer to him as Corporate. He is though. I work for a division and he works for the corporate parent company.
***To my credit, there once was a tunnel bridge thing there. It led from the parking garage to what was called "City Center", this weird little mall. I never took it because I didn't know where the entrance was but it did exist at one time. You'd think the fact that the City Center is gone and replaced with a park would give me a clue as the non-existance of the bridge.
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