True Friends
My friend is gone. Doesn't that suck, when your good friends all live hell and gone away from you? He's not even going home but to another office. But we had fun. We hung out and chatted and he told me some stories that cracked me the fuck up. My man has some fucking funny stories that he'll tell not necessarily understanding just how funny they are to an outside party. And he's wonderful because he just let's me laugh and tease him. We were actually out having dinner and he made me laugh so hard that I kept putting my head on the table because I was doubled over laughing. I have my own stories, hell, my life is one long march of humiliation and embarrassment but I could not, for the life of me, remember any of my stories so as to be a good friend and reciprocate. But that's one of the reasons I love him, he doesn't care. He knows I'm not going to judge him or truly make fun of him to the point of tears when he tells me things. He also knows that he can have a conversation with me on instant messenger and randomly throw in a reminder of one his stories so that I'll crack up at my desk*.
I only really got to have him around for Sunday night, Monday night, and a few hours today. But it was well worth it because he's my friend and it was great to see him when I didn't think I would again. It's a long story but, basically, he has no reason to visit my office again any time soon and I have no reason to travel to any office so, there you go. We chatted, shared a few meals, and had fun. He even got to meet Upstairs Kid. All in all, not a wasted trip. And he bought me Starbucks today and peeled an orange for me so I really scored.
But he's gone and that sucks because it always sucks when you say goodbye to someone you like. And he's a great friend, literally my best. And you know why? Because he does things like apologize for ridiculous reasons. Have you ever had someone apologize to you for doing something or not doing something because it might have fucked them up? What the fuck is that? "I'm sorry I did or didn't do this thing for or with you because it would have caused me some serious complications." Really? What kind of friend am I? Yeah, I'm not going to be your friend if you aren't willing to fuck your life up. Who are you? I mean, come on, you're nice to me and you buy me lunch but you aren't willing to just say "fuck my life, let's do this"? Really? Well fuck you for pretending to be a true friend.
No, that isn't how life works. Don't apologize to me unless you step on my foot or punch me in the face or something. Never apologize for not doing something that is going to cause you problems just to make me happy. But that's the kind of guy he is. He apologized in case I was disappointed that he didn't, I don't know, let's say rob a bank for me. Because he was sincerely worried that I might not be his friend anymore or that I was his friend because I thought he'd rob the bank. That is a good friend, because it means I probably could have been a total dick and gotten him to rob the bank for me. And, honestly, I think I could have gotten him to. That is a true friend. But you know what? I'll just take the $3.50 latte you bought me that you can probably expense. Let's not see how far you'll go in fucking up your entire existence. I'll just trust that you care about me without that.
This might change. I haven't had a lot of interaction since "the shit went down" but I doubt things will change, not for me. She might have changed her opinion of me and think I'm just a piece of shit, but that doesn't mean I look at her differently. Not until I'm given a really good reason to. OK, so she kind of hurt me in an offhand way and without intent. She didn't say something like "you acted like a fucking Jew, Cat." That would have made me think differently and I would have decided "Wow, PW is a total cunt." That's what you have to do to change my opinion of you if I've known you for a couple of years and have developed a good opinion of you. You have to say something racist, anti Semitic, or hit me. So, in case you were wondering, no, I don't have a bad opinion of PW. I think she is awesome and I still admire her greatly.
Settle down.
*One of the things I do to my friends is try to make them laugh inappropriately when they are in the office or in a meeting so I deserve that.
My friend is gone. Doesn't that suck, when your good friends all live hell and gone away from you? He's not even going home but to another office. But we had fun. We hung out and chatted and he told me some stories that cracked me the fuck up. My man has some fucking funny stories that he'll tell not necessarily understanding just how funny they are to an outside party. And he's wonderful because he just let's me laugh and tease him. We were actually out having dinner and he made me laugh so hard that I kept putting my head on the table because I was doubled over laughing. I have my own stories, hell, my life is one long march of humiliation and embarrassment but I could not, for the life of me, remember any of my stories so as to be a good friend and reciprocate. But that's one of the reasons I love him, he doesn't care. He knows I'm not going to judge him or truly make fun of him to the point of tears when he tells me things. He also knows that he can have a conversation with me on instant messenger and randomly throw in a reminder of one his stories so that I'll crack up at my desk*.
I only really got to have him around for Sunday night, Monday night, and a few hours today. But it was well worth it because he's my friend and it was great to see him when I didn't think I would again. It's a long story but, basically, he has no reason to visit my office again any time soon and I have no reason to travel to any office so, there you go. We chatted, shared a few meals, and had fun. He even got to meet Upstairs Kid. All in all, not a wasted trip. And he bought me Starbucks today and peeled an orange for me so I really scored.
But he's gone and that sucks because it always sucks when you say goodbye to someone you like. And he's a great friend, literally my best. And you know why? Because he does things like apologize for ridiculous reasons. Have you ever had someone apologize to you for doing something or not doing something because it might have fucked them up? What the fuck is that? "I'm sorry I did or didn't do this thing for or with you because it would have caused me some serious complications." Really? What kind of friend am I? Yeah, I'm not going to be your friend if you aren't willing to fuck your life up. Who are you? I mean, come on, you're nice to me and you buy me lunch but you aren't willing to just say "fuck my life, let's do this"? Really? Well fuck you for pretending to be a true friend.
No, that isn't how life works. Don't apologize to me unless you step on my foot or punch me in the face or something. Never apologize for not doing something that is going to cause you problems just to make me happy. But that's the kind of guy he is. He apologized in case I was disappointed that he didn't, I don't know, let's say rob a bank for me. Because he was sincerely worried that I might not be his friend anymore or that I was his friend because I thought he'd rob the bank. That is a good friend, because it means I probably could have been a total dick and gotten him to rob the bank for me. And, honestly, I think I could have gotten him to. That is a true friend. But you know what? I'll just take the $3.50 latte you bought me that you can probably expense. Let's not see how far you'll go in fucking up your entire existence. I'll just trust that you care about me without that.
Aftermath - The Chronic
Someone who knows about what happened with PW asked me how things were going. I just said fine, because that is how it has been, fine. I think this person might have expected me to be carrying a grudge or having a different opinion of PW now. But honestly, I call her Powerful Woman because that's how I think of her and that hasn't changed. Yes, I no longer trust her like I used to and I feel she treated me badly. But she is still intelligent, independent, and strong. Those are attributes she just has. She's very good at what she does, she's competent. And she's just a great woman. She truly is. We all have our moments and no one is 100% on the same person, you know? So she's rad as fuck and I think the world of her. I'm disappointed with how I was treated and I don't really trust her like I once did, but I don't think at all less of her. She'd probably have had to kick my guinea pig for me to change my overall opinion of her.This might change. I haven't had a lot of interaction since "the shit went down" but I doubt things will change, not for me. She might have changed her opinion of me and think I'm just a piece of shit, but that doesn't mean I look at her differently. Not until I'm given a really good reason to. OK, so she kind of hurt me in an offhand way and without intent. She didn't say something like "you acted like a fucking Jew, Cat." That would have made me think differently and I would have decided "Wow, PW is a total cunt." That's what you have to do to change my opinion of you if I've known you for a couple of years and have developed a good opinion of you. You have to say something racist, anti Semitic, or hit me. So, in case you were wondering, no, I don't have a bad opinion of PW. I think she is awesome and I still admire her greatly.
Settle down.
*One of the things I do to my friends is try to make them laugh inappropriately when they are in the office or in a meeting so I deserve that.
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