Where have I been? I've been burying myself in the illusion that things are more normal now that I do not have doctors appointments and an unknown diagnosis to deal with. Just work, chores, and training as usual. Yesterday was a bit hard because I called the clinic and found out that they needed my MRI images and the assistant to my neurologist stated that I should wait. So I could have delivered it right away, which was my initial thought, but was told to wait. So I left work like a bat out of hell to deliver the damned disc. The clock started all over again because of the three day weekend so in seven to ten days, I'll hear from the clinic about my appointment.
Work was overwhelming all week, due to regular work stuff. I was frustrated because I'd been working from home and staying on top of things but was still slammed all week, racking up three hours of overtime thus far. But that is really a bonus, as I'll need the money.
Last night, when going to bed, I got upset and shook J and told him, crying, that I needed him to deal with this, to be OK with it and face it. He'd been keeping his head in the sand and not wanting to talk about it. He evidently spent today reading from my MS for Dummies book and told me he plans on reading it to the end. I explained that I didn't necessarily need him to research but just be willing to deal with it. I apologized, again, for freaking out on him last night because I shouldn't have done that. But he said that was the right thing because he didn't realize how much I needed him to deal with it and face it head on. So now he is here with me, facing it, willing to talk about it, willing to let me bring it up whenever I need to.
But my life is not all about MS and I'm back on the treadmill. I ran my three miles today and plan on going to Dance! Dance! tomorrow, followed by, hopefully, four miles on Saturday. I'm getting back to where I was before this all started. I know it will never be 100% what it was but at least I can do small things, like run, go to work like a normal person, and bitch about the after work chores like cleaning up after the guinea pig, vacuuming, trying to get a brake light because your right brake light is out. Sure, it is frustrating to work all day and have to do chores after work but at least it is normal.
So that is where I've been. Today, I almost drew a comic to show what my "this can wait" in bin looked like because it had gotten out of control. But I didn't have time and I felt it would have been a bit abrupt to just jump to that without anything in between.
Work was overwhelming all week, due to regular work stuff. I was frustrated because I'd been working from home and staying on top of things but was still slammed all week, racking up three hours of overtime thus far. But that is really a bonus, as I'll need the money.
Last night, when going to bed, I got upset and shook J and told him, crying, that I needed him to deal with this, to be OK with it and face it. He'd been keeping his head in the sand and not wanting to talk about it. He evidently spent today reading from my MS for Dummies book and told me he plans on reading it to the end. I explained that I didn't necessarily need him to research but just be willing to deal with it. I apologized, again, for freaking out on him last night because I shouldn't have done that. But he said that was the right thing because he didn't realize how much I needed him to deal with it and face it head on. So now he is here with me, facing it, willing to talk about it, willing to let me bring it up whenever I need to.
But my life is not all about MS and I'm back on the treadmill. I ran my three miles today and plan on going to Dance! Dance! tomorrow, followed by, hopefully, four miles on Saturday. I'm getting back to where I was before this all started. I know it will never be 100% what it was but at least I can do small things, like run, go to work like a normal person, and bitch about the after work chores like cleaning up after the guinea pig, vacuuming, trying to get a brake light because your right brake light is out. Sure, it is frustrating to work all day and have to do chores after work but at least it is normal.
So that is where I've been. Today, I almost drew a comic to show what my "this can wait" in bin looked like because it had gotten out of control. But I didn't have time and I felt it would have been a bit abrupt to just jump to that without anything in between.
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