Sometimes it feels like I married a moody teenager. I love J to bits but lately there have been too many sighs and grumbles and black moods...

Let me stop right there. Do you ever find yourself wanting to tear your hair out, wanting to scream, wanting to complain to your best friend about how you just can't take it because you significant other is complaining and griping all the time and then, on top of the frustration and upset, feel the added weight of tremendous guilt because it isn't like your significant other chooses to feel these things? I do, all the bloody time. I continually complain in my hard copy journal about how J is depressed, how he moans and bitches but doesn't seem to do much about it and then I feel guilty and ashamed for not being more sympathetic. Some days I dread going home. I dread hearing him say how he can't keep doing what he is doing, that he hates school and wants out, that no one is hiring, that he is crazy, and so on and so on. I want to yell at him to do something about it. Fucking quit school and spend all day looking for work. Or else deal with it and continue with school because not everyone loves their job. And go see a fucking shrink. I know you think they are useless, you tell me so all the time. But guess the fuck what... some times they work! Sometimes people have their lives saved by them. I did. I will take medication for the rest of my life because I have a disorder that is treated by the psychiatric world and it sucks but not as bad as being untreated sucks.

Suck it the fuck up, kid.

And then I feel terrible because I love this person and he was treated cruelly by his parents and he was born without part of his left arm and life just hasn't been good to him so the people who love him should.