Sinking to the Oldies

So this is old age. I have evidently forgotten to cook steak even though I had recently gotten really good at it. As well as the attempt I made the other day that resulted in my dining on three-day old pizza and cheesy bread, I tried again on Wednesday. Things I learned:

1. I should never have gone on the internet but just kept making steak the way I used to.
2. My vent fan does not work worth a damn.

For real. I turned on the fan as soon as I turned on the heat for the grill pan. After 20 minutes my apartment was incredibly hazy even with a window and the door to my balcony open. Leasing is going to love me when I put in my service request seeing as they don't get enough of those from me. On the bright side, I think the steak was decent. I say "think" because I charred the hell out of it and put a ton of spice on it. It was, admittedly, a bit rarer than I like but it was edible so I ate it. 

In other fun news, I found out Wednesday morning that a friend and former manager of mine has passed away. It happened on my birthday actually. She was a really awesome woman, excellent at what she did, whip smart, hilarious, and utterly devoted to her family. She was 72. Then, that afternoon, I found out that a friend at work was fired. Not a fantastic day for news about colleagues current and former. 

But it isn't all doom and gloom my friends! This week has been quite busy. I was treated to lunch on Monday by The Russian. We went to Shake Shack and stuffed ourselves with burgers and fries. On Tuesday, my friend Y brought me a birthday latte from Starbucks. This was appreciated two-fold. For one, who doesn't enjoy a free latte(beverage of choice)? And for two, I missed out on my actual free treat from Starbucks because I was told I needed to have the bar code when I wanted to redeem the offer and I didn't have my phone when I was at a Starbucks on the day and then, found that my offer email didn't even have a bar code and that it really was an "on the day only" offer. Wednesday The Russian organized a lunch with other friends to continue celebrating yours truly, which was incredibly lovely, especially on a day with such rotten news. 

Friday I have a retirement happy hour to attend and on Saturday I'm going to a Schnauzers and Drag Queens Holiday Event at my friend Goop's place. I've asked SA to the latter and he agreed to go when I confirmed that no one was going to be dressing up as either a schnauzer or drag queen (while I didn't want to dress up, I was a bit disappointed to find out that others weren't either.) This is one hell of a week for socializing and I won't be doing any more of it until well into the new year. 

Very brief progress report: didn't exercise this Wednesday simply because I did not want to. I did, however, stop at the store after work and picked up travel size bottles of shampoo, conditioner, face wash, shave cream, and moisturizer. You know, for when I do work out and shower at the gym afterwards. Pretend goal is to work out on Friday, after work and before happy hour since HH is at 4:30 and I finish at 3:00 on a Friday. Realistic prediction is that I end up going in late and work until 4:00 before heading on over for drinks and For She's a Jolly Good Fellow. I did see that the gym at work has a barre class on Mondays now and I was thinking of joining that. Woof. 

But, as the seesaw nature of this post demands, there is some positive as well; I still haven't had a cigarette. I was with SA on Tuesday and felt a bit irritable and wanted one but I persevered and was quite pleased with myself when I woke up the next morning knowing I hadn't succumbed. Tonight will be a real test. Not only will I be at SA's again, him smoking away, but I have to start a Difficult Conversation. He knows I got my lease renewal notice on Tuesday and today I am going to start the conversation of "what do you think about the idea of us living together?" April will be three years that we've been seeing one another and I just need to know if he envisions us living together by the summer so that we can make moves now to organize our time together to get a better idea of what that would look like. If he does not see us living together in the next calendar year I need to a) check the 12 months box on the renewal form and b) begin seriously thinking about this relationship because unless he is OK with changing how we see one another (read: split time evenly between my place and his), I do not see how it will be sustainable. If I didn't have so many GD animals, it would be a different story but I do have to so many GD animals.

I am perfectly OK staying in my apartment for many reasons but I am not OK with the idea of feeling like I'm in a casual relationship. No one wants to feel like their fella is committed simply because his needs are being met and he is too lazy to look for something better. I'm sincerely hoping that those ridiculously expensive nightstands are a good omen (but that I sign on to stay where I am for nine months rather than six or twelve). Shall let you know.