Yes, I Have Purchased Pretty Gardening Gloves

The Bat stated that it was gardening season and suddenly I appear to have been bitten. Based on my present enthusiasm, one might think I've always been an avid gardener, but that isn't the case. I would do my mother's garden, and always admired my friend Firefly's, but I've never had my own little patch of land to play with and I'm not terribly good with houseplants. But now, because the Bat and Phoenix decided to change the location of the greenhouse, I have my own above bed garden to play with as much as I like. I mentioned putting down newspaper and cardboard under a thin layer of garden soil the other day, and since then I have put down about seven more cubic feet of soil. I wish I were better with space and dimension because then I could give you an idea of the size of my little plot, but alas and alack, I am not, and I did not see the point in taking a picture of my plot of dirt. It is a decent size, however, and on Thursday I will buy eight more cubic feet of dirt and that should be enough. Then the Bat will help me build a little fence to keep the dogs out, and I can happily begin planting seeds. Zinnias and cosmos, as I stated before. I may find other flowers as well, since the space is large enough, but I'm afraid I'm rather unimaginative at the moment (though we do have quite a few packets of impatiens seeds in the Cave, which I should take a look at).

I find myself gravitating to the outdoors more and more after work these days. No, I'm not taking long walks or doing any sort of activity at all really. But the days are getting warm and it's nice to sit in the garage at my patio set, or sit in the greenhouse in a camping chair, and relax with my Kindle and a beer/mixed drink/glass of wine. It's warm, it's peaceful, and it's solitary for awhile. Don't get me wrong, I like living with the Bat and Monkey, but I've always needed time to myself to just sit and decompress. That and it's nice to be able to read without the television on in the background. Sitting in the greenhouse trumps the garage but only because the dogs don't usually know I'm in the greenhouse for awhile. Back in my garage sitting days, the dogs would go ape shit pretty immediately and wouldn't leave me alone until I moved to the picnic table. So there I sit, in the greenhouse, with my Kindle and my drink, and I occasionally look up to the soon to be pond, and find myself sighing with contentment. Because I'm usually happy in this life of mine and I just figured it out. Yes, I am happy. I've been trying to decide that ever since I made the full move in the Bat Cave and so it was a bit of a relief.

Things are not perfect of course. I had plenty of alone time yesterday because the Bat pissed me off so badly that I felt it would be better for me to sleep in my room rather than be around him. It was something small and stupid - he laughed when he informed me that oh yeah, the Monkey did want a burger after she had told me know and I'd already begun cooking. It was small and it was stupid but it was also just yet another instance of the Bat behaving in a manner that screams "I don't respect you!" I was irritated because he and his daughter both like their burgers over done and bland. I like mine medium rare. So I have to stagger the cooking time, which isn't a big deal, but if I'm already dealing with two cooking times and you throw a third at me, it fucks everything up and I end up feeling like a short order cook whilst you guys watch the movie. Yes, I know, I should have said "OK, well why don't you make it for her" but I didn't because I didn't think of it then. I just thought about how I'd just told him to not agree to plans with people on my behalf. "You can say you don't want to go, it isn't a big deal" he replied. True, I can say that. But please do not speak for me. Instead, give me the respect and civility of checking with me to see if A: I have other plans and B: I want to go. By agreeing for me, you put the burden on me to be the heavy, the one who says "well I don't want to do that." And it is just fucking rude.

But I ruminated on it all night, staying away from the living room and just doing my own thing, eventually going to sleep in my bedroom. I thought about it again this morning when I woke up and decided it's not worth the effort of being angry. The Bat has a tendency to just not think and so I don't believe for one second that he doesn't actually respect me. I believe, instead, that he forgets that not everyone thinks the way he does (which he's admitted) and so he acts callously and thoughtlessly and appears to be a bigger asshole than he actually is. More importantly, I think the way I handled this was pretty brilliant given my tendency to blow up without thinking things through. I didn't lock myself in my room; I sat outside or in the master bedroom as I read. I didn't say anything to him about it because I knew I had to think it through properly. And I didn't sell myself short. Yes, it annoys me that he does that sort of thing but, as I said, I truly do not believe he does it out of a sincere feeling of disrespect.

The point of this long, rambling post, is to say that I think things are going well, my permanent residency in the Bat Cave. There are going to be bumps - as there always will be in any relationship and/or living situation - but it isn't only important to resolve any issues that crop up, but how they are resolved. And I feel pretty damned proud of myself for this one.