Housework and I have come to an impasse. I realize that in a household, everyone is going to have their own ideas about what makes for a comfortable living environment and that they may all be dissimilar ideas. I know that I like things tidier in the Bat Cave than do Monkey or the Bat and for awhile I've sucked it up and done the bulk of the chores because I think "I'm the one who cares so if I want it clean, I should do it." And while I do not necessarily disagree with that sentiment, I do think I can start giving myself a break. Yes, I'd like things to be neater and tidier on a regular basis, but I have a room of my own that I can escape to if I don't want to be surrounded by clutter and unswept floors.
And honestly, I'm just tired. As I always try to make clear, Monkey and the Bat do contribute; it's just that I do more because I do it more frequently. I clean the kitchen more than anyone because I get skeeved out by dirty dishes and pots sitting around for days. I sweep - even though I hate sweeping - simply because no one else seems to notice all the dust, dirt, and hair on the floors. I scrub the master bath because I use the tub and the sink and no one else seems to care if that area is clean. I do the laundry because it has to get done and I prefer to do mine myself (and throwing the Bat's in with mine isn't a burdensome task). I dust because no one else cares and I don't like sneezing all the time (I'm not allergic to dust, but between being outside planting, tracking dirt into the house on my shoes, and the dust build up, I sneeze). I pick up and put away a lot in the living areas just because clutter annoys me.
So I do a lot of the normal daily housework that a lot of people do. But I'm the only one doing it most of the time and so I'm just tired. I don't mean to make a martyr of myself because I do not have to clean as much as I do. I bring it on myself because of that "I'm the one who cares so I should do it" mentality. But no, I shouldn't do it. The Bat and Monkey are comfortable with how they live and don't need someone constantly underfoot putting away and scrubbing. And it isn't like the house is about to be condemned or anything. It's just dishes in the sink for longer than I like, counters not thoroughly scrubbed, floors not swept routinely. Yes, when all that goes on for awhile, as it did for a few months leading to my massive cleaning when they went to San Antonio, it can get out of hand and deep cleaning is needed. But, for the most part, general maintenance is all that is needed, just like in any home. So if they don't care, why put myself through this? I know they appreciate my work but if they don't care, they aren't going to help maintain it so I'm really just banging my head against a wall.
In my ideal world, everyone cleans up after themselves and pitches in for things like sweeping the floors and cleaning bathrooms and kitchens. So I asked the Bat last night if he and Monkey could contribute more towards the household chores and he said "OK". And I realized that even if things don't improve tremendously, it's OK. I can cause myself much less anxiety if I just stop. I'll continue doing laundry because, as I said, it doesn't take much for me to throw the Bat's in with mine, I'll continue cleaning the master bath since I'm the only one who uses it, but I'll just do my half of the sink. I'll clean up after myself and cook once or twice a week so that I'm doing my share of the pots and pans, and I'll stick to my bedroom if I can't take the mess. That way, my housemates will not feel unduly put out or as if they are being constantly punished by miss tidy pants over here and I won't feel so overworked and annoyed at feeling like the maid.
Scathingly brilliant idea as my mother would say, and such a simple one. So simple it took me months to figure it out. Although, to my credit, for awhile there I cleaned as much as I did because I felt bad about essentially living in the Bat Cave rent free. But now that I am paying rent, I feel less of an obligation. As a minority stakeholder, however, I don't feel I have much of a say so I needed to come up with a solution that would keep me happy without driving the others batty.
No pun intended.
And honestly, I'm just tired. As I always try to make clear, Monkey and the Bat do contribute; it's just that I do more because I do it more frequently. I clean the kitchen more than anyone because I get skeeved out by dirty dishes and pots sitting around for days. I sweep - even though I hate sweeping - simply because no one else seems to notice all the dust, dirt, and hair on the floors. I scrub the master bath because I use the tub and the sink and no one else seems to care if that area is clean. I do the laundry because it has to get done and I prefer to do mine myself (and throwing the Bat's in with mine isn't a burdensome task). I dust because no one else cares and I don't like sneezing all the time (I'm not allergic to dust, but between being outside planting, tracking dirt into the house on my shoes, and the dust build up, I sneeze). I pick up and put away a lot in the living areas just because clutter annoys me.
So I do a lot of the normal daily housework that a lot of people do. But I'm the only one doing it most of the time and so I'm just tired. I don't mean to make a martyr of myself because I do not have to clean as much as I do. I bring it on myself because of that "I'm the one who cares so I should do it" mentality. But no, I shouldn't do it. The Bat and Monkey are comfortable with how they live and don't need someone constantly underfoot putting away and scrubbing. And it isn't like the house is about to be condemned or anything. It's just dishes in the sink for longer than I like, counters not thoroughly scrubbed, floors not swept routinely. Yes, when all that goes on for awhile, as it did for a few months leading to my massive cleaning when they went to San Antonio, it can get out of hand and deep cleaning is needed. But, for the most part, general maintenance is all that is needed, just like in any home. So if they don't care, why put myself through this? I know they appreciate my work but if they don't care, they aren't going to help maintain it so I'm really just banging my head against a wall.
In my ideal world, everyone cleans up after themselves and pitches in for things like sweeping the floors and cleaning bathrooms and kitchens. So I asked the Bat last night if he and Monkey could contribute more towards the household chores and he said "OK". And I realized that even if things don't improve tremendously, it's OK. I can cause myself much less anxiety if I just stop. I'll continue doing laundry because, as I said, it doesn't take much for me to throw the Bat's in with mine, I'll continue cleaning the master bath since I'm the only one who uses it, but I'll just do my half of the sink. I'll clean up after myself and cook once or twice a week so that I'm doing my share of the pots and pans, and I'll stick to my bedroom if I can't take the mess. That way, my housemates will not feel unduly put out or as if they are being constantly punished by miss tidy pants over here and I won't feel so overworked and annoyed at feeling like the maid.
Scathingly brilliant idea as my mother would say, and such a simple one. So simple it took me months to figure it out. Although, to my credit, for awhile there I cleaned as much as I did because I felt bad about essentially living in the Bat Cave rent free. But now that I am paying rent, I feel less of an obligation. As a minority stakeholder, however, I don't feel I have much of a say so I needed to come up with a solution that would keep me happy without driving the others batty.
No pun intended.
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