I really want a little bunny rabbit for my garden. Little Peter Cotton Tail playing in my flowers, safely penned in by the little picket fence. Of course, my flowers are, so far, just seeds buried in dirt and the fence has yet to be created. And the bunny would either run away or be at the mercy of the dogs so I oughtn't to get too excited by the idea.
Wanna know a secret? I plagiarize myself all the time at work. I literally cut and paste whole sections of documents because a lot of my work is extremely derivative. How much variety is there going to be in the look, feel, and functionality of a standard report after all? And I use the same original document to copy and paste from even though, when I do, I forget about all the (many, many, MANY) track changes that are hidden so I end up pasting comments as well as information. Seeing those comments surprises me. Every. Damn. Time. You would think I'd learn. Nope!
Today is "Simply a Girl must eat all the things" day, did you know? I feel like I've been eating pretty much straight through the day and anything that is not eating is annoying me. Complete my documentation of the last report we need to implement? But that is getting in the way of my eating time. Attend a meeting? You want to talk at me for thirty minutes when there are things I can be heating up in the microwave to eat? Oh, there are going to be donuts? Carry on then. And I edged way too close to being 'emotional' when I went to heat up my Smart Ones mini cheeseburgers. I put two of them on a paper towel (because fuck you and your single serving suggestion, I'm not a toddler) and nuked them for a minute. Got back to my desk and realized the cheese was cold. I ended up walking back and forth three times to heat these suckers and each time I'd walk back I'd think "god help the man or woman who dares to try and use that microwave if I need it because it belongs to me today. It is MINE." In the end, one tasted burnt and I didn't really even taste the other one because I shoved it down my gullet as fast as I could.
Because I hadn't eaten at all yet. Other than my bowl of cornflakes (one corn flake was found crusty and dried on my thigh about three hours later), the doughnut, and the weird mini hot dog with cheese in a pastry item that was also on hand at the meeting. And I want more. Not the healthy yogurt that I have in the refrigerator but maybe eight bags of chips from the vending machine and all of the rest of those mini cheeseburgers*. And the pizza I ordered yesterday. And then a nap. I want a nap.
Oh, and I'm sorry, but I do not think there should be any meetings scheduled after 12:00 on a Friday. Why do you do that? In fact, Friday is a terrible day for meetings period, and today I have two scheduled. The first one featured food for me to shove into my fat body and that one is over so it's OK. But the second one? It's at 2:00 in the afternoon! And there isn't going to be food! And it is Friday! I want to leave early and go home and nap in a food induced coma like I am supposed to.
Sigh. Being a corporate wage slave can suck sometimes. But, on the bright side, I got paid today so I can buy ALL THE FOOD.
*I now imagine myself spending thirty minutes in the break room with a stack of these cheeseburgers, cooking one at a time at the suggested 45 seconds to avoid going through the emotional roller coaster previously experienced.
Wanna know a secret? I plagiarize myself all the time at work. I literally cut and paste whole sections of documents because a lot of my work is extremely derivative. How much variety is there going to be in the look, feel, and functionality of a standard report after all? And I use the same original document to copy and paste from even though, when I do, I forget about all the (many, many, MANY) track changes that are hidden so I end up pasting comments as well as information. Seeing those comments surprises me. Every. Damn. Time. You would think I'd learn. Nope!
Today is "Simply a Girl must eat all the things" day, did you know? I feel like I've been eating pretty much straight through the day and anything that is not eating is annoying me. Complete my documentation of the last report we need to implement? But that is getting in the way of my eating time. Attend a meeting? You want to talk at me for thirty minutes when there are things I can be heating up in the microwave to eat? Oh, there are going to be donuts? Carry on then. And I edged way too close to being 'emotional' when I went to heat up my Smart Ones mini cheeseburgers. I put two of them on a paper towel (because fuck you and your single serving suggestion, I'm not a toddler) and nuked them for a minute. Got back to my desk and realized the cheese was cold. I ended up walking back and forth three times to heat these suckers and each time I'd walk back I'd think "god help the man or woman who dares to try and use that microwave if I need it because it belongs to me today. It is MINE." In the end, one tasted burnt and I didn't really even taste the other one because I shoved it down my gullet as fast as I could.
Because I hadn't eaten at all yet. Other than my bowl of cornflakes (one corn flake was found crusty and dried on my thigh about three hours later), the doughnut, and the weird mini hot dog with cheese in a pastry item that was also on hand at the meeting. And I want more. Not the healthy yogurt that I have in the refrigerator but maybe eight bags of chips from the vending machine and all of the rest of those mini cheeseburgers*. And the pizza I ordered yesterday. And then a nap. I want a nap.
Oh, and I'm sorry, but I do not think there should be any meetings scheduled after 12:00 on a Friday. Why do you do that? In fact, Friday is a terrible day for meetings period, and today I have two scheduled. The first one featured food for me to shove into my fat body and that one is over so it's OK. But the second one? It's at 2:00 in the afternoon! And there isn't going to be food! And it is Friday! I want to leave early and go home and nap in a food induced coma like I am supposed to.
Sigh. Being a corporate wage slave can suck sometimes. But, on the bright side, I got paid today so I can buy ALL THE FOOD.
*I now imagine myself spending thirty minutes in the break room with a stack of these cheeseburgers, cooking one at a time at the suggested 45 seconds to avoid going through the emotional roller coaster previously experienced.
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