This happened, I'm not making it up. I was minding my own business when I got a super sweet text from NG and then I started talking to Do What, this kid I work with (or, as I cleverly have it below, KIWW) about it. This is the conversation we had over our instant messaging program at work.
1:56:27 PM ME- Ready to hear something that will make you sick?
1:56:32 PM Kid I Work With- yes
1:56:48 PM ME- I just got a text from New Guy that is a picture of the phrase "I smile like an idiot when I think about you"
1:56:59 PM KIWW- awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
1:57:10 PM KIWW- that's awesome. what a charmer
1:57:10 PM ME- right?
1:57:14 PM ME- Indeed
1:57:27 PM KIWW- he's got the makings of a serial killer though...definitely smells like a lifetime movie
1:57:29 PM KIWW- just be careful
1:57:42 PM ME- How so?
1:57:53 PM KIWW- he's too charming
1:57:58 PM ME- True
1:58:00 PM KIWW- i'm just joking though
1:58:02 PM ME- criminal record
1:58:04 PM KIWW-
1:58:21 PM ME- He kills the feral cats that get into his yard because he's afraid they'll attack Monkey. Or so he says
1:58:33 PM KIWW- hmmm
1:58:41 PM KIWW- so animal cruelty...
1:58:49 PM KIWW- just a few red flags
1:58:53 PM KIWW-
1:58:58 PM KIWW- i'm sure he's a great guy
1:59:16 PM ME- I did ask if he had a history of starting fires.
1:59:18 PM ME- Wait a minute...
1:59:39 PM ME- he and his friends used take semtec and put it on remote control cars with pagers attached and set them off like bombs
1:59:56 PM ME- If he ever wets the bed, he will have it the homicidal triad and I'll be OUT
2:00:17 PM KIWW- LOL what does wetting the bed have to do with it???
2:01:20 PM ME- Oh, a history of wetting the bed, setting fires, and killing animals is called the homicidal triad. They are three things that are common in the history of serial killers
2:01:35 PM KIWW- interesting!
2:02:26 PM ME- I know this shit, which is why it is insane that I'm all "yeah, sure. I'll go to your house 10 miles east of where I live to meet you stranger that I met online and have talked to on the phone once and mainly texted. What's that? Sure I can pick up some duct tape and hefty bags on my way. No prob!"
2:02:56 PM KIWW- hahaha
2:03:07 PM KIWW- too funny
2:03:12 PM KIWW- well, you met his daughter
2:03:17 PM KIWW- unless, she is a paid actress..
2:03:18 PM ME- Alleged daughter
2:03:21 PM KIWW- hahaha
2:03:21 PM ME- Or victim
2:03:23 PM KIWW- hmmm
2:03:32 PM KIWW- now we've got your wheels turning
2:03:55 PM ME- I didn't do a DNA test. She could be a kidnapped child.
2:04:11 PM KIWW- does she look like him?
2:04:27 PM ME- I don't know. He's really tan and bigger. She's tiny and blond.
2:04:34 PM ME- I'll have to take a better look next time
2:04:55 PM KIWW- indeed
2:05:32 PM ME- He could have used his boat to take previous cut up victims to Lake Ray Hubbard, put them into a cooler with rocks, and dumped it.
2:05:52 PM KIWW- so your trip to his boat was foreshadowing...
2:06:03 PM ME- OMG! And there was a cooler!
2:06:15 PM ME- Thank goodness the boat wouldn't start!
2:06:19 PM KIWW-!
1:56:27 PM ME- Ready to hear something that will make you sick?
1:56:32 PM Kid I Work With- yes
1:56:48 PM ME- I just got a text from New Guy that is a picture of the phrase "I smile like an idiot when I think about you"
1:56:59 PM KIWW- awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
1:57:10 PM KIWW- that's awesome. what a charmer
1:57:10 PM ME- right?
1:57:14 PM ME- Indeed
1:57:27 PM KIWW- he's got the makings of a serial killer though...definitely smells like a lifetime movie
1:57:29 PM KIWW- just be careful
1:57:42 PM ME- How so?
1:57:53 PM KIWW- he's too charming
1:57:58 PM ME- True
1:58:00 PM KIWW- i'm just joking though
1:58:02 PM ME- criminal record
1:58:04 PM KIWW-
1:58:21 PM ME- He kills the feral cats that get into his yard because he's afraid they'll attack Monkey. Or so he says
1:58:33 PM KIWW- hmmm
1:58:41 PM KIWW- so animal cruelty...
1:58:49 PM KIWW- just a few red flags
1:58:53 PM KIWW-
1:58:58 PM KIWW- i'm sure he's a great guy
1:59:16 PM ME- I did ask if he had a history of starting fires.
1:59:18 PM ME- Wait a minute...
1:59:39 PM ME- he and his friends used take semtec and put it on remote control cars with pagers attached and set them off like bombs
1:59:56 PM ME- If he ever wets the bed, he will have it the homicidal triad and I'll be OUT
2:00:17 PM KIWW- LOL what does wetting the bed have to do with it???
2:01:20 PM ME- Oh, a history of wetting the bed, setting fires, and killing animals is called the homicidal triad. They are three things that are common in the history of serial killers
2:01:35 PM KIWW- interesting!
2:02:26 PM ME- I know this shit, which is why it is insane that I'm all "yeah, sure. I'll go to your house 10 miles east of where I live to meet you stranger that I met online and have talked to on the phone once and mainly texted. What's that? Sure I can pick up some duct tape and hefty bags on my way. No prob!"
2:02:56 PM KIWW- hahaha
2:03:07 PM KIWW- too funny
2:03:12 PM KIWW- well, you met his daughter
2:03:17 PM KIWW- unless, she is a paid actress..
2:03:18 PM ME- Alleged daughter
2:03:21 PM KIWW- hahaha
2:03:21 PM ME- Or victim
2:03:23 PM KIWW- hmmm
2:03:32 PM KIWW- now we've got your wheels turning
2:03:55 PM ME- I didn't do a DNA test. She could be a kidnapped child.
2:04:11 PM KIWW- does she look like him?
2:04:27 PM ME- I don't know. He's really tan and bigger. She's tiny and blond.
2:04:34 PM ME- I'll have to take a better look next time
2:04:55 PM KIWW-
indeed 2:05:32 PM ME- He could have used his boat to take previous cut up victims to Lake Ray Hubbard, put them into a cooler with rocks, and dumped it.
2:05:52 PM KIWW- so your trip to his boat was foreshadowing...
2:06:03 PM ME- OMG! And there was a cooler!
2:06:15 PM ME- Thank goodness the boat wouldn't start!
2:06:19 PM KIWW-
! 
wait....what??? he kills cats? :( How in the hell is a feral cat danger to his daughter? WTF. Introduce him to Bubbles. Let him make an assessment.
ReplyDeleteFeral cats in the yard might attack a little girl? I don't know. He doesn't like cats. Actually, I think someone asked him to kill these two that were in their yard. It isn't like he sits outside with a gun and just picks them off or anything though.
ReplyDelete