Austin & Simply Ride Again: Part II

I apologize in advance but I put off writing this for so long that my memory is a blur and so I'm sure I left lots of stuff out. But whatev. I know what happened and Austin knows what happened, and we both know where the bodies are buried. So, without further ado, the second half of our visit.

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Excellent hostess that I am, I had zero plans for Austin’s trip. On Saturday morning we drank coffee and sat on my sofa, both of us with our laptops open (so 21^st century) reading the news and chatting about it. We were amazed by the whole Leith, North Dakota thing where some guy is trying to make the population of seventeen town a haven for White Supremacists. Seriously? And we talked about Syria. Austin was convinced that the U.S. would take military action. Neither one of us thought the U.S. should be involved but Austin was convinced it would happen. I told him that I held out hope and we talked about various other military engagements that we had been involved in. At one point Austin said “it’s like having Obama as president was a tradeoff. OK, you can have a black president but in exchange, we will NEVER talk about George W. Bush and Iraq.”

Yeah, that’s right. Saturday morning found us nerding it up with some coffee and news. But we eventually decided, moved by hunger, that we should do something. The plan was to go to the Flying Saucer by the Lake, a place Hunter told me about that purports to have the largest selection of beer. I wanted to make a stop at the UPS store to return some cable equipment and that was just awesome. I thought I knew where the place was so Austin told me about his marriage and how they work really well together whilst I did that asshole thing of probably driving well under the speed limit, trying to find the fucking place. It was nice. Not the “where the hell is UPS” but hearing how mature and good my friend’s marriage is. They really work together to make it work and he spoke so lovingly about his wife. It’s rad to hear that sort of thing. I mean, we met in our twenties when we were in college and just a pair of young idiots but here he was telling me about how this was the first girl he’d ever met that made him feel like he wanted to spend his life with her. He talked about how they always communicate, how they know how they both are when annoyed and actively work to try and be decent humans when they are exhausted, frustrated, or overwhelmed. Keep in mind, they have a two year old, he works full time, and the wife just graduated from grad school.  I may not be the most maternal of women but I was so proud of him and happy for him.

We didn’t find UPS though. Eventually we just gave it up and decided to head to the restaurant. This was another fun trip, me white knuckling my steering wheel as Austin held the directions. Turns out it is a fucking straight shot and a six minute ride to the fucking place. I’m actually a really good driver but when I don’t know where I’m going, I get nervous and overly anxious. Then I make fun of myself when I realize it was all for nothing (side note: I’ve driven to New Guy’s house three times now and the third time I did not need my GPS. See, I can learn).

The Flying Saucer was the perfect thing for us to do that day. We sat outside on the balcony, both of us in our cowboy boots, looking at menus and then looking around to see if we were ever going to be waited on. “I came here for service” I said, peevishly, to my friend. I don’t know why, but it cracked us both up. The wait was probably a good thing because it allowed for Austin to make the serendipitous choice of buffalo wings. He evidently doesn’t usually go for wings and they weren’t the obvious choice given that it was 729 degrees outside, but oh my god they were the perfect fucking thing. The artichoke spinach dip was decent and he seemed to like his sandwich but the wings were just the exact right thing for that time of day. It was also fun because the table was covered in food like we were two kings or something.

We chatted a lot about Spark Plug, the girl who brought us together, reminiscing about her and agreeing that we both hope she is doing well. We talked and joked as usual, and neither of us wanted to move from that spot. When I paid the bill, I asked to see his license and brought mine out at well. That’s when the visit took a weird turn. “You are NOT five foot eight! You have always been shorter than me!” Yeah, I didn’t just yell at him about it, I make him stand up so we could both take off our boots and see who was taller. Disturbingly, it was him. It isn’t disturbing that he is 5’8, an inch taller than my 5’7; no, it’s the fact that for ten fucking years I have thought this guy was shorter than me. My mental schema of Austin included, and has always included, his being shorter than me. It was like the whole world shifted. Up was down, black was white, food had no taste. OK, so that’s being overly dramatic but it really was a shock and a very weird thing. How do you not realize this about someone? Especially when you used to hang out with them in person? I wonder how many times I told people he was shorter than me. How many times did I say that in front of him? Oy.

Filled with sunshine, beer, and food, we returned to my place (a much quicker and less perilous trip) and took a nap. Because that is how you roll when you are hip like us. You nap like a mother fucker. The evening was chill. We went back to The City (I’ve decided we are cool enough to be in the in crowd and no longer have to say “Sports City”, just “The City” because you know, the people who matter will just know what we mean) for nachos and a beer whilst we decided what we’d do. The decision ended up being to walk to Kroger, get food to eat later for dinner, and rent a movie. So we finished our beers, learned what the fuck a Sooner is (sooner born, sooner bred, when I die, I’m sooner dead), and headed out to the other side of town (not really but where I am, one side terminates with The City and other eating establishments and public houses [READ: chain restaurants] and the other side hits an intersection with a shopping area… it’s maybe a couple of blocks to walk) and gathered our supplies. We even bought more Dos Equis just in case and Austin was very disturbed at how wet the bottom of the box was. We were fairly convinced that when we got back to my place we’d find six half empty bottles.

What movie, you ask? Why, Shadow People, the shittiest of ‘horror’ movies! It was really well done and well shot and all that, but the story was ridiculous and not fully thought out. Austin and I just talked through the whole thing and made fun of it. Jesus, the Shadow People. And stupid over here didn’t get one of the main themes until the very end. See, the movie is shot like it is a dramatic reenactment of actual events. There is the smooth, shiny, production value portion with the events as they happened, and then the less shiny parts where its interviews with the actual people involved. Those things were done really well. The interviews and “real” parts were really well done and it looked exactly like it does when you watch Dateline or the old Unsolved Mysteries or whatev. But Jo Jo the idiot girl didn’t realize that was going on until the end. In fact, Austin had to help explain it to me. I must have missed something at the very beginning, like when I watched Side Effects but missed the very beginning where there is blood.

So yeah, a very well done movie but the plot wasn’t fleshed out and things were not explained and there were just too many unnecessary parts. If I had buckled down to write this blog earlier instead of putting it off, I would have had way more to say on the topic. Austin even said that Shadow People might warrant its own entry, but at this point, I don’t really remember so he’ll have to contribute in the comments section. It was just soooo fucking stupid. I mean, a kid calls a late night radio station where the on air talent guy takes calls and I don’t know what, to talk about some crazy ass shit and then he fires a gun. He doesn’t kill himself but he goes into a hospital and he dies in his sleep. I don’t really even know what the Shadow People are. Something about an old man in Cambodia telling stories to the rest of his tribe/clan/family/posse? Radio station decides to use this for ratings and then the lines are opened to all sorts of wack jobs ands their conspiracy theories etc. On air talent guy ends up wearing aluminum foil hats and removing all the furniture from his house. Some chick from the CDC determines that the Shadow People can only hurt you if you believe. On air talent guy, in order to save planet earth, says he made it all up (you know, so people won’t believe and thus, die in their sleep), and then his kid finds a tape and watches it and so sequel! The end. There, I saved you a buck twenty eight or however much it costs on Red Box.

To make up for that monstrosity, I put in The Other Guys, a movie that makes me laugh and from which I quote frequently. At first Austin wasn’t really into it because it doesn’t go at the pace a comedy usually does, but before long I was smoking on my patio and I could hear him laughing out loud. Every so often, we text one another with random lines from the movie, just because it makes us giggle. In fact, I just texted him. Let’s see if he remembers (I texted him “if you were with me, you wouldn’t be in this dump, shakin’ it for dollars.” “He does not approve of this Francine!”) Then, old people that we are, we went to bed.

Remember how I said we took a nap on Saturday? Yeah, Austin slept for a bit but I didn’t. I failed at napping on Friday and Saturday and ended up just laying there. My body was rested, which was good, but dude was I fucking tired. So on Sunday we took it super easy. We bought a newspaper and went to Hooters for brunch (well, lunch because they don’t do breakfast) where we discussed the possible interview experience for a Hooters girl as well as other stuff that I just plum forget. See what happens when you put shit off, kids?

And that’s it. He stuck around until about 2 PM and then headed back to where he came from. I took an actual nap and then I think Guitar Hero came over that night. I don’t know. But that ends the story of what I did when Austin came up to visit me in Mesquite. Sorry it isn’t better but I was busy. And lazy.