I've been trying to write about Austin's visit last weekend but it's been weirdly difficult. He was here for a short time but it was packed full of fun. The problem is, a lot of it was of the "you had to be there" ilk and a lot of it was talking about old times and old friends. But I did my best. So here is part one of the wonderful weekend when Austin and Mesquite came together.
Friday
Austin arrived at about 8:45 PM on Friday evening. He had to park at
the front of my hood and get out of his car so that we could find each other
because I tend to live in apartments where it is really hard to find me. Not on
purpose, though it does work to my advantage. When I saw him we grinned and
hugged. I’m not a huggy person usually, but Austin and I have been friends for
ten years and hadn’t seen one another in about eight. That’s a long time to
remain friends through letters and emails. We graduated college, got jobs,
there were marriages, a divorce, a baby, a diagnosis. He’s one of two people
I’ve tried to keep in touch with since college and the only one that seems to
have stuck.
I met Austin during the Spring Semester of college at the University of
Delaware in 2003. He was dating Spark Plug, a former roommate and friend (the
other college friend I try to keep up with). It was Ag Day, one of those
college shindigs thrown by a specific college (agriculture in this case, as SP
majored in Horticulture Landscaping). I was the last of SP’s friends for Austin
to meet as I’d spent the previous semester in England. She’d told him about me
and added “just don’t run away with her.” She was a bit worried about that. I
was feminine for all my sailor mouth and sarcasm, and I was always able to
banter and chat with quick wit, able to make others laugh and engage with
people. She wasn’t jealous of me or intimidated by me, but I think she just
worried because I was somehow OK with who I was and she wasn’t. Even then, even
during those dark days, even when I didn’t like myself, I didn’t really
apologize for myself and just was who I was. I’m sure it didn’t help that
Austin walked back to campus with me and not her.
But there was never anything romantic between us. I know it is odd for
men and women to just be friends but for some reason, that was just never on
the table and we both found it funny, the very idea. He’s never been my type
nor I his. But we got along really well and enjoyed one another’s company. We spent
a lot of time on Main Street, sitting outside a local coffee shop or in random
places on campus. When he was thinking of breaking up with SP he talked to me a
lot. I remember one day his asking if I’d still be friends with him. I guess he
was afraid she’d get custody.
So I hugged him because I was so fucking stoked to see him. He looked
the same as ever, as I’m sure I did. We both probably have decaying portraits
in some attic some place. Once inside, we began talking. He had a good drive up
from his neck of the woods (ahem, Austin), and told me about a stretch of road
where there was nothing. It was the type of place where you read “all that was
found was an empty big gulp cup with the missing person’s DNA, a backpack, a
shoe, and NOTHING ELSE.” I don’t even know what we talked about at first.
Probably my friends with benefits thing and the immediate life stuff. At one
point, after his second beer, Austin got up to go to my fridge and looked at me
and said “do you mind if I just start binge drinking?” It was hilarious because
he’s a dad and so seemingly straight laced and we are both great big grownups
so you don’t expect that. But he and I have always been blunt and honest, with
each other and others I assume. So yeah, knock yourself out.
He spoke to his missus, who was in Iowa with their daughter, visiting
her mother. I made some dinner and we chatted. Afterwards, we put on our cowboy
boots, which we would wear everywhere, and headed to Hooters. No room at the
bar so I said “OK, we’ll go to Sports City.” Great call, by the way. We got the
last bar table in the joint and giggled and chatted about butt chugging and
twerking and my winning Miss Bear, Delaware after sleeping with a lot of
people, some who weren’t even on the judging panel (that never happened. I
totally did NOT win). That joke cracked Austin up and he said “I’m used to the
one two three of a joke but I forgot how you are, going four five six.” He made
me laugh by demanding to meet the mayor of Sports City and by trying to bust a
move at the table, seeing that it got a laugh out of me, and choking on his
water. Dos Equis was the beverage of choice that night, with Austin feeling all
sorts of confusion about why he was missing a lime, what had happened in
transit to lose the lime. Neither of us knew what we were meant to do with the
limes so we just squeezed them into our beer and threw the limes in after.
At one point, I went out for a cigarette and a guy asked me my name. He
was trying to hit on me and started asking what kind of cat I was. “Are you a
feral cat, or are you a domesticated cat?” Even after I said “it’s a name I
picked up from my husband”, not mentioning the ex part, he continued to try.
Austin found that hilarious. We decided that if a guy tried to hit on me when I
was at the table with him, Austin would just doff his cap and wish the guy well
because that would take balls. Seriously, a woman cannot be alone in a bar in
Texas, even on the smoking patio, without someone talking to her. The next time
I went to smoke I said “OK, I’m going to kind of rub your shoulder so that
anyone looking will think we are together.” It was awesomely awkward and we
could hardly keep our shit together, but it seems to have worked.
Having exhausted our being the most obnoxious residents of Sports City,
we returned to my apartment to watch Shaun of the Dead. Austin talked
throughout the entire thing, talking to the movie and saying what was going to
happen. He informed me when it was bedtime that he always does that. I’ve seen
the movie seven hundred times (J got Hot Fuzz, I got Shaun of the Dead in the
divorce) so I didn’t mind. Austin slept on the couch whilst I took the bed. He
was enamored with my animals, especially Johan since he hasn’t known anyone
with a guinea pig, so he was happy. I told him that if he woke up before 9 he
was to leave me alone.
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