Yay! I have internet at home again! Soon I will blog about my awesome visit with Austin but right now I'll just share our latest text conversation. Seriously, my life has improved greatly since I got his number and one day I will start a new blog, to be go administered by Austin, just for these conversations.
ME: "My cat looks like Vladimir Putin, I'm waiting for ATT to get here, the ever awesome GH is coming over later. Nailed the American dream."
AUSTIN: "The promise of internet and booty. I feel like I'm staring at a bald eagle in flight."
M: "Or a wolf howling at the moon as it sits on a rock in the desert."
A: "Bubbles is actually Putin's nickname in the Kremlin."
M: "Putin is just mad because his feline counterpart can't get out of her collar."
A: "Putin=animagius? Unregistered of course. If anyone went to Durmstrang..."
M: "His patronus is Bubbles!"
A: "Happiest thought: the end of US hegemony."
M: "Putin's patronus is a lap cat. All that anti gay stuff stems from his insecurity. He thought it would be a bengal tiger."
A: "It's a tiger cub. Small tiger. What? It is not house cat. Ship them to Siberia! How do you question my patronus?"
M: "It is special breed, very rare, very valuable. That is NOT a collar! It is a neck band of power. Of awesomeness! No, my patronus did not just meow. It makes that noise when the awesomeness gets too awesome."
A: "My ancestors were conquerors and they wore such collars. Do you mock my dead heroes?"
M: "She is descended from Catherine the Great! Fuck you, who DOESN'T like a good petting every now and then?"
A: "Do not torture my patronus with rubbing its tummy! It hates that and dishonors it!"
M: "Make amends! Give it a chicken flavored Tempations. Now!!!!"
A: "Yes, patronus deserves the wet food because it is descended from kinds and sabertooth tigers. LOL, nice! Great minds... Bonus points for getting the brand right."
M: "I don't care if my father's was a rhino! I don't need that! I am Vladimir!!!!"
M: "I looked at the bag, not gonna front. You fool! Water goes in the bowl with the colorful fish, not the one with the black and white kitty. Take him away!"
A: "I'm sorry my leader!!! Do not send me away! ... You know what? Fuck it. It is a housecat! :gunshot:"
M: "Anyone else want to challenge the greatness of Bubbles? Fools! Why do you think large, tough men are nicknamed 'Tiny'? Subterfuckingfuge! Now rub me behind the ears, make me purr, and leave me. No! Leave the ball of yarn. I fucking need it."
A: "Reports from inside the Kremlin state that Bubbles, President Putin's super manly patronus, has just been tapped to revive the KGB secret police. The new leader was last seen playing with a ball of yarn and muttering 'they'll all pay in Russian'"
M: "Don't let the photos fool you. It may look like she is curled up on the sofa but she is plotting."
A: "Secretary of State John Kerry has scheduled a meeting with Bubbles to rub his ears and talk about the source of the mysterious red light on the floor."
M: "Her ears! Bubbles is female! You Americans think you are so exceptional but you can't even sex a cat properly! We side with the Syrian regime now and forever! No more talks of diplomacy. Assad, we are on our way. Thunder, thunder, thunder cat Bubbles hoooooo!" Bring the guinea pig. Noise torture is powerful. But help him! He tends to face the wrong way. Because he lost an eye in battle, that's why!"
A: "Obama: How'd it go? Kerry: Not good boss, not good."
M: " Did you bring the Tempations? Chicken flavored? Good god man, what does a cat want with Snausages?"
A: "Why are we getting threats from a guinea pig? Did you try the ears?"
M: "I, John Kerry, officially resign my post, effective immediately."
A: "This would never have happened if Hilary was here. Bill... it's Barack. Can you put Hillary on? What do you mean this is 'your' problem?"
M: "In the year 2013, a major battle was fought. Those formerly known as Americans became Russians. For two centuries we have worshiped at the alter of Bubbles."
A: "Bubbles be with you. And also with you."
ME: "My cat looks like Vladimir Putin, I'm waiting for ATT to get here, the ever awesome GH is coming over later. Nailed the American dream."
AUSTIN: "The promise of internet and booty. I feel like I'm staring at a bald eagle in flight."
M: "Or a wolf howling at the moon as it sits on a rock in the desert."
A: "Bubbles is actually Putin's nickname in the Kremlin."
M: "Putin is just mad because his feline counterpart can't get out of her collar."
A: "Putin=animagius? Unregistered of course. If anyone went to Durmstrang..."
M: "His patronus is Bubbles!"
A: "Happiest thought: the end of US hegemony."
M: "Putin's patronus is a lap cat. All that anti gay stuff stems from his insecurity. He thought it would be a bengal tiger."
A: "It's a tiger cub. Small tiger. What? It is not house cat. Ship them to Siberia! How do you question my patronus?"
M: "It is special breed, very rare, very valuable. That is NOT a collar! It is a neck band of power. Of awesomeness! No, my patronus did not just meow. It makes that noise when the awesomeness gets too awesome."
A: "My ancestors were conquerors and they wore such collars. Do you mock my dead heroes?"
M: "She is descended from Catherine the Great! Fuck you, who DOESN'T like a good petting every now and then?"
A: "Do not torture my patronus with rubbing its tummy! It hates that and dishonors it!"
M: "Make amends! Give it a chicken flavored Tempations. Now!!!!"
A: "Yes, patronus deserves the wet food because it is descended from kinds and sabertooth tigers. LOL, nice! Great minds... Bonus points for getting the brand right."
M: "I don't care if my father's was a rhino! I don't need that! I am Vladimir!!!!"
M: "I looked at the bag, not gonna front. You fool! Water goes in the bowl with the colorful fish, not the one with the black and white kitty. Take him away!"
A: "I'm sorry my leader!!! Do not send me away! ... You know what? Fuck it. It is a housecat! :gunshot:"
M: "Anyone else want to challenge the greatness of Bubbles? Fools! Why do you think large, tough men are nicknamed 'Tiny'? Subterfuckingfuge! Now rub me behind the ears, make me purr, and leave me. No! Leave the ball of yarn. I fucking need it."
A: "Reports from inside the Kremlin state that Bubbles, President Putin's super manly patronus, has just been tapped to revive the KGB secret police. The new leader was last seen playing with a ball of yarn and muttering 'they'll all pay in Russian'"
M: "Don't let the photos fool you. It may look like she is curled up on the sofa but she is plotting."
A: "Secretary of State John Kerry has scheduled a meeting with Bubbles to rub his ears and talk about the source of the mysterious red light on the floor."
M: "Her ears! Bubbles is female! You Americans think you are so exceptional but you can't even sex a cat properly! We side with the Syrian regime now and forever! No more talks of diplomacy. Assad, we are on our way. Thunder, thunder, thunder cat Bubbles hoooooo!" Bring the guinea pig. Noise torture is powerful. But help him! He tends to face the wrong way. Because he lost an eye in battle, that's why!"
A: "Obama: How'd it go? Kerry: Not good boss, not good."
M: " Did you bring the Tempations? Chicken flavored? Good god man, what does a cat want with Snausages?"
A: "Why are we getting threats from a guinea pig? Did you try the ears?"
M: "I, John Kerry, officially resign my post, effective immediately."
A: "This would never have happened if Hilary was here. Bill... it's Barack. Can you put Hillary on? What do you mean this is 'your' problem?"
M: "In the year 2013, a major battle was fought. Those formerly known as Americans became Russians. For two centuries we have worshiped at the alter of Bubbles."
A: "Bubbles be with you. And also with you."
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