Dancing Bird of Paradise

Hablamos Burger King

I've been watching Dateline episodes on the internet, much to my great joy. Sure, I've been doing pretty well without television but mainly because I was subscribing to Hulu until recently and hadn't watched my DVDs  a hundred times (which I now have). I recently discovered that you can watch Dateline on the NBC website and so huzzah! I do like true crime, Lester Holt, Dennis Murphy, and Keith Morris (Morrison?). But what is with the Burger King commercial that only plays in Spanish? It's for a barbeque sandwich with sweet potato fries so I'm not really getting the link. Is Dateline's web audience predominately what we like to refer to as 'Latino'? I might not have noticed it if it weren't for the fact that internet 'television' has a habit of playing the same two commercials over and over and over again (when I was watching a marathon of an old BBC series called Teachers, I wanted to stab myself in the eyeballs every time the Greyhound Vodka commercial came on).

Other than the BK commercial en espanol solomente (I have no idea if that is correct), I only have one issue with Dateline. Why is it that they only have programs featuring pretty white women? OK, I did see two in which the women were Brazilian and ... uh, were they both Brazilian? And I'm talking about the murder mystery ones, not the news coverage ones. It's pretty much just pretty white (or light skinned) chicks getting killed or being accused of killing their husbands. I have a feeling it has to do with "socioeconomic" factors or "economic disparity." Which is just a fancy way of saying "people are more interested in learning about murder mysteries that involve the wealthy and white people are the wealthy people. But Typhoid Mary wasn't wealthy. I mean, OK, she didn't exactly murder people but it's still really interesting and she was, essentially, a lunch lady.

Weekend

I finally went back to the gun range recently. Upstairs Kid and I decided to try a new place, one further north, and we really liked it. I'm not really sure what it was. They have outdoor and indoor ranges, it is in a nice area, and it just seemed clean and nice. That and the young guy UK talked to about a specific pistol really knew his shit and wasn't trying to upsell him (UK is, in fact, getting a Bonnie to go with my Clyde [which I own out right as of today, having paid UK the last $75]). And I did my best work with a pistol thus far. My accuracy wasn't fantastic but it was much better for me and I felt more confident. Now that my life is a bit more settled, I'm hoping UK and I can go every other Saturday and so we are going to look into getting a membership at one of the places we've visited. Unfortunately, the place we went today probably won't win out due to price. But! I did get to see a guy wearing a shirt that said "Pavlov Rings My Bell" and that tickled me.

Other weekend fun included the following:

1. A nice long walk. I think of myself as an extrovert because I'm inappropriate and love to make people laugh. I'm also very social at work. But once the end of my shift hits, I don't want to talk to anybody. That's part of why I don't really do anything on the weekends (well, that and I don't have friends in state who are available/willing to hang out with me... aww). Going with UK to shoot was the most social I'd been in awhile. But I also tend to stay indoors because I read so damned much and don't like the sun. This troubles certain people and I think one very good friend worries about my being cooped up all the time. So I felt a bit embarrassed about my lifestyle and thought "you know, maybe I should take advantage of the nice day we are having." So I took a lovely three or four mile walk (this time on the correct side of the road, the one with the side walks) and really enjoyed myself. 
2. Watching movies. J and I saw the second Sherlock Holmes movie in the theater and whilst we agreed it was beautifully shot, neither of us thought it was as good as the first. However, I found that I enjoyed it more on the second, third, and fourth viewing*. I also rented Contraband because it was the only thing that tripped my trigger. I'm hoping it gets better on the second viewing.
3. Helping a Japanese neighbor move a dresser from by the dumpster into his apartment. I was a bit jealous as I'd seen that dresser and wished I could have it but I knew I couldn't move it myself. He'd already salvaged the drawers and I just caught him as he came for the bulk of the piece. So I offered to help him. He informed me that he is the "sushi man" at the Kroger across the street and said he'd bring me sushi tomorrow as a thank you. Whilst I do enjoy sushi, I assured him that was not necessary. After all, I know what it is to have help whilst moving. 
4. Going for another walk because I'm a masochist. OK, yes, the walks were nice and on the second I found Innis Gardens, which is simply gorgeous, but I keep going during the peak of the heat and my feet hurt like eight bitches in a bitch boat. Sure I brought water with me these last two times but one walk was 90 minutes and the other two hours. In 90+ heat. I remain the smartest person on Earth.

So, all in all, not a bad weekend. 

*I have a tendency to watch the same thing over and over again. Some people understand this but others find it infuriating.

Bits and Bobs
After that lovely weekend I returned to work for a Monday that lasted 10.25 hours. I was weirdly focused though so it wasn't as terrible as it could have been and then I came home to something pretty stellar. OMG but have you seen this? I am in love with this person now.

And: Sally Ride died. I told Hunter, via IM (he was in DC working ungodly hours on some sort of I don't know) and he said "who's that?" My reply? "Sigh... first woman in space. She had cancer." Hunter: "That's too bad. Do you know what kind?" Simply: "Yes. Space cancer.... no, just kidding, pancreatic."* 

Also, remember 50 Shades? Well, a friend of mine reviewed them on Good Reads and it made me want to know what happened in the books, like the actual plot (as far as there is one). So I went on Amazon and found some of the funniest fucking reviews ever. This is the review of the second and here is the third. I loved these reviews because the author enjoyed the books but was totally honest about them. Once again, the reviews of these books is the best thing about them I've found thus far. That and talking to Jilly Bean who just finished the first one because it cracks her up when I say things like "I'd be way more gracious about accepting shit from Christian. Wanna give me a car and a brand new computer? OK, I'll blow you for that." 

Finally: I've decided I'm going to make up an assistant. Whenever I have to contact anyone currently on our panel or anyone in our company with something that I think they will find annoying, I'm going to sign the letter with "Tony Flags, Credentialing Assistant" so that people can be annoyed with 'the boy' and not me. Tony Flags is a name I got from watching an episode of the Graham Norton Show. Antonio Banderas and Chris Martin were guests and Martin was talking about having a boring name. He said he'd looked up and found that banderas is Spanish for 'flags' and so Antonio Banderas is really Tony Flags, a name the actor actually uses at hotels from time to time. Thus, whenever anyone is upset with me, they won't know it and will, instead, be upset with Mr. Flags.

*Oh calm down. I was just annoyed that he didn't know who she was right off that bat and I got all "she's a woman so of course you don't know" which is totally unfair because Hunter isn't some misogynistic idiot.