A little bit of this, a little bit of that

Let's Get Serious for a Moment, Shall We? 
In yet another instance of my being frightfully stupid and absent minded, I had to take Johan to the vet to get his little pig claws trimmed. I say that is evidence of my stupidity because why the hell didn't I have them trim his claws when I had him boarded during the power outage?

One of my favorite bloggers linked to this article, which I spent the morning reading before taking lord and master to the vet. I never really had a firm idea of where I stood on the death penalty. On the one hand, I think pedophiles should be killed by firing squad. I also think locking someone away for the rest of their lives is cruel. But then, how is killing someone considered justice? And quite frankly, who am I to determine who should live and who should die? If I were faced with the choice I think I'd take death over prison. But a) do you ever really know until you are faced with the actual decision? and b) what is good for the goose isn't always necessarily good for the gander. Now, however, after reading that article, I can say with firm conviction that I oppose the death penalty.

See, sometimes it isn't all guinea pigs and bitching about stuff. Sometimes, on some rare occasions, I do actually use my brain.  One last comment on that article; if you read it, you'll notice it is from 2009. Do you ever think about how much information is out there, how much literature, fiction, non-fiction, and just data is out there and how much you never see? Sometimes, when I'm in a book store, I look at all the books in the fiction section and wonder if each one will actually be read. Then I wonder what the sound of one hand clapping is and zone out...

Things Change and Stay the Same

I've always taken that sentiment for granted, just another meaningless cliche. And it is but it's also like "a stitch in time saves nine" and I finally understand it (embarrassingly, I think I was 19 when I finally understood a stitch in time etc.)

So, I have a new boss, which is the change, and it's occurred to me that I don't think he has a clear understanding of what it is I do, which is same old same old. He also keeps promising to get me help and talks about change but nothing happens. He's a good guy and he does actually communicate with me but I feel like he is moving too fast and not understanding that we can't just "make things happen" but that we need to do things like talk to the executives and examine the budget to see if we can make things happen. He's the new head of my division and, unfortunately for us, his primary concern is growing our division so we still don't have anyone who is primarily responsible for helping fix the problems with our existing clients.

So, you see, things change and stay the same.

Finally...

The Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes divorce was settled rather quickly. Am I the only one who is disappointed? That sounds cruel but celebrities make enough money for me to not feel guilty when I enjoy their gossip. I wasn't hoping for acrimony or anything, but I did want some scandal about Scientology and maybe some "is he really Suri's father" allegations. Instead all we get are joint statements about working together to be good parents and reassurances that Scientology had nothing to do with it.

Maybe I'm just bitter because it took them something like two weeks to get divorced and it has been a year since J and I separated and we are still married. Meh, I don't think so. If I was in a big damn hurry I could divorce him pretty quickly. I just can't be bothered.

Well, here's hoping that more will come out about Demi Moore's daughters not talking to her.

Hey, like I said, these people are millionaires. And besides, we all know that half of what is said isn't true (if not way more than half).

PS

Seriously? I just checked my stats and someone came across my blog after searching for "fuck mature anal gym". Wonder what they hoped to find.

No News, Is Good News

After the CT scan and lumbar puncture came back clear, and after my appointment with my PCP, I finally called my mother to let her know what is going on. Since then, she's been under the impression that I've been in incredible pain and has stated in her e-mails that I am not to downplay my pain, to make sure I take care of myself. When she e-mailed yesterday, again stating that she felt terrible that I was in such pain, I called and left a message, just to let her know that the pain has subsided and that she isn't to worry. I followed up that call today, to give her the good news, and I think she was relieved a bit. And then she told me her news.

I did know that my sister in law was in the midst of her clinical trial, but I was not aware that this is the portion that might kill her. Evidently, they've infused the re-engineered cells and are now infusing a kind of poison to kill the cancer. She is on her fourth infusion; she threw up after the first and third. The ideal is 15 but the NIH have never made it that far. Another patient undergoing the treatment now did not make it past the first. This doesn't mean patients die before the 15th, just that their bodies, their systems, cannot handle it. I didn't think we were there yet. I knew the trial was to be grueling and that it might kill her, but I thought we had time.

Mom said that SIL is still in high spirits and, for once, that made me feel worse. Until today, I've been pleased that she's had a good attitude and been so upbeat. But now all I can think is, what if she is smiling in the face of certain doom? Mom told me that if that is the case, at least she went down fighting. That, I believe, is meant to comfort, but really, can anything? A 31 year old woman, who was not feeling sick, who bounced back beautifully from amputation and chemo, is in good spirits as she is infused with a poison that is making her ill beyond belief. Good spirits followed by death is no better than a pessimistic attitude followed by the same, in my humble opinion. But I suppose it is better for her.

If that wasn't enough, Mom went on to tell me that my cousin's husband died last night, out of the blue. He was only 64 and they don't know what happened, just that it appears he got up in the night to use the bathroom as he was found half in and half out of the bed this morning. Found by his wife. I do not know them but they were kind enough to send me a card and a check when J and I eloped. I remember asking my mother "who are Mr. and Mrs. Smith" and being touched that a cousin that I do not know thought to send us such a generous gift to a family member they do not know. I can't imagine what my cousin is going through. She is part of my extended Greek family, from my mother's father's side. Another cousin, or second cousin, lost her husband to a heart attack when he was in his 40's. The Greek side marries and the men appear to go down unexpectedly.

A condolence card will be sent. I will offer my sympathies and my shoulder should it be needed. But I feel ridiculous now, with my call to tell my mother not to worry. As though my issue is anything more than a sneeze.