Keep it coming

I did my taxes this morning and was happy to see that I'm getting a refund. It isn't huge but it is about a paycheck with overtime. I was stoked because I thought "that will put a tiny chink into my MASSIVE credit card debt so that's something."

I celebrated by going to grocery store to buy a few things (grand total was less than $25). Then I got to my car, the one I just paid $500 to fix, to find it wouldn't start.

Again.

Called my mechanic and chatted with him a bit, trying not to cry. He thinks, at this point, that it is either the starter (which would rule) or a battery wiring problem (which would fucking suck). I said "fuck it. I'm going to go back into the grocery store to use the bathroom and walk home. If I can get it to work or get a tow, I'll send her your way tomorrow."

Then I walked home, hoping my eggs wouldn't break and trying to keep from crying. Then I got home and cried. A LOT. Then I looked into upgrading my AAA membership so that I could have a free service call and free tow (I now can be towed for 100 miles free). Walked back to the shopping center to call AAA but the little bitch started so I just drove her home.

I texted back and forth with my mother who just freaked me out until I said "I don't want to talk about this anymore".

Then I said "you know what? Fuck it. I'm going to be happy anyway. So what if every time I pick myself up I'm pounded back into the ground? What options do I really have?"

So tomorrow morning when I wake up to my alarm (because I want to keep Johan on schedule for his eye medicine), I will call AAA and send my car to my mechanic and wait to hear just how fucked I am. I will also arrange a ride to work so I can make my interview at 3PM. And I'll come home and continue to give Johan his meds.

Then I'll crawl into my closet and hide from the world until the world tells me what I did to piss it off so much so that we can be friends again.