So yeah, I've been a dick lately. A total brat just wallowing and crying and being an all around baby. I have, in sum, been insufferable.
But that is changing. I got off my ass and took out my trash (cutting my pinky knuckle in the process somehow) and baking some tomatoes and portobello mushrooms for lunch. I even cleaned a bit. Well, I basically cleaned because some Jehovah's Witnesses came by and asked if they could come again and I said yes and that I'd make sure my place was clean so that I could be a decent human being and invite them in next time.
I love the Jehovah's Witnesses. For one thing, I love anyone who does the work for me and comes to my door so that I don't have to really do anything. That's how I got cable after all. But I also like the JW's because, from what I've read, they are basically just concerned with being good people. They make it a point to not get politically involved. They just want to be good people and do good works. Again, that is what I know based on the little I've read. I just dig them. So I cleaned up a bit and will have to maintain the cleanliness so that I can invite them in next time and give them coffee.
I also just ordered a food processor to help aide me with my new found interest in cooking. I had to ask my fellow old biddy if he felt it was an irresponsible purchase because every so often I feel like I need to get permission to buy myself something. I used to do that to J. I'd ask him if it was OK for me to buy a gossip magazine. It never matters that it is my own money, I just sometimes feel like I'm not allowed to purchase something without permission. Not to make my mother out to be a bad person or anything, but I think it comes from having her always make me and my brothers account for where our money went if we asked for anything. My first job was a weekend paper route thing (that I totally phoned in) and I made about $40 per paycheck. But mama would always make me tell her where my money went if I asked for anything after I started working. So I'm not trying to say she was wrong, I just think that is why I sometimes need someone to tell me it is OK. And Hunter is one of the most fiscally conservative people I know so asking him makes sense to my crazy brain.
You'll note that I didn't ask anyone for permission to get my hair done on Monday and that is vastly more expensive. Because I'm crazy, I feel I don't need anyone's permission to get my hair cut and colored at an overpriced salon but I asked my best friend if it was irresponsible to spend $40 on a food processor. And yes, that all makes sense in my little brain.
So hopefully I'll be up and running again with my happy healthy new year. Stinks that I fell into a funk so quickly but at least I didn't let myself just stay there and I pulled myself together. Last time I fell into a funk or a downward spiral it lasted for what felt like was forever and was probably at least a month. This time it was just a matter of days. So kudos to me and my crazy brain for pulling my shit together.
But that is changing. I got off my ass and took out my trash (cutting my pinky knuckle in the process somehow) and baking some tomatoes and portobello mushrooms for lunch. I even cleaned a bit. Well, I basically cleaned because some Jehovah's Witnesses came by and asked if they could come again and I said yes and that I'd make sure my place was clean so that I could be a decent human being and invite them in next time.
I love the Jehovah's Witnesses. For one thing, I love anyone who does the work for me and comes to my door so that I don't have to really do anything. That's how I got cable after all. But I also like the JW's because, from what I've read, they are basically just concerned with being good people. They make it a point to not get politically involved. They just want to be good people and do good works. Again, that is what I know based on the little I've read. I just dig them. So I cleaned up a bit and will have to maintain the cleanliness so that I can invite them in next time and give them coffee.
I also just ordered a food processor to help aide me with my new found interest in cooking. I had to ask my fellow old biddy if he felt it was an irresponsible purchase because every so often I feel like I need to get permission to buy myself something. I used to do that to J. I'd ask him if it was OK for me to buy a gossip magazine. It never matters that it is my own money, I just sometimes feel like I'm not allowed to purchase something without permission. Not to make my mother out to be a bad person or anything, but I think it comes from having her always make me and my brothers account for where our money went if we asked for anything. My first job was a weekend paper route thing (that I totally phoned in) and I made about $40 per paycheck. But mama would always make me tell her where my money went if I asked for anything after I started working. So I'm not trying to say she was wrong, I just think that is why I sometimes need someone to tell me it is OK. And Hunter is one of the most fiscally conservative people I know so asking him makes sense to my crazy brain.
You'll note that I didn't ask anyone for permission to get my hair done on Monday and that is vastly more expensive. Because I'm crazy, I feel I don't need anyone's permission to get my hair cut and colored at an overpriced salon but I asked my best friend if it was irresponsible to spend $40 on a food processor. And yes, that all makes sense in my little brain.
So hopefully I'll be up and running again with my happy healthy new year. Stinks that I fell into a funk so quickly but at least I didn't let myself just stay there and I pulled myself together. Last time I fell into a funk or a downward spiral it lasted for what felt like was forever and was probably at least a month. This time it was just a matter of days. So kudos to me and my crazy brain for pulling my shit together.
I've never heard anyone say they actually liked having the Jehovah's Witnesses come around. I suppose next time it's really cold and they stop by I might invite them in to warm up as long as they talk about anything but religion.
ReplyDeleteThey used to come to my mother's house when I lived with her and happened to be home from college on break. It was just like chatting with some friends but they never came in because I didn't want to talk religion. Now that I'm older, I'm just interested in learning about different religions to help keep me up on my literary references (that and I'm a big dork). I actually told Hunter about it (who I should just rename as Biddy) and he said he used to invite them in as well. But now he lives in the sticks with a bunch of guns so they don't come around. Scary man is our old Biddy.
ReplyDelete