Well that didn't last long
Was doing all sorts of great and then WHAM! downward spiral. I've not bathed since Wednesday and have been wearing the same clothes since Thursday. I've been living off of alcohol and frozen pizza (OK, well, I did make a version of one of the Laundress's recipes for pizza but I don't feel I deserve credit since it was still pizza). I've cried kind of a lot and I've pretty much shut down. Oh, except for when I treated Teacher like a total dick for no good reason. That was awesome of me, I'm sure.
What happened? Well, my company passed the audit with flying colors. My manager spoke at an all associate's meeting and when he spoke of the audit and of this other thing, he mentioned all sorts of people but not yours truly, and I'm a direct fucking report and I worked my ass off. For some reason, that really bothered me. Well, that and the fact that I'm probably not going to get the assistant he promised me.Tits will go full time next week and she'll no longer be giving me 16 hours of help a week. I was supposed to get my own hire but the budget is being slashed so who knows. And even though Powerful Woman is doing what she can to fight for the position, she isn't doing it for me but for the person I want to hire. It feels like no one really gives a shit about how hard my job can be or how hard I work.
So basically, I've been stewing in a little woe is me pity party for the last few days. I'm pretty unhappy in my job and I'm lonely in my personal life and isn't that all so unique and new? I've basically been a pouty little princess for the last few days. But I think I've snapped out of it some what. Part of what helped was the following conversation I just had on facebook with BFF.
Me: "I am a mess. All those lovely new years resolutions and excellent progress have evidently been flushed down the drain. I think I've even been wearing the same clothes for three days now. I am obviously killing 2013."
BFF: "I am on a no booze-cruise and weening myself off caffeine. Working my way up to no sugar and no gluten. Go me."
Me: "I haven't bathed in days and have been subsisting on frozen pizza and alcohol. I am the Goofus to your Gallant your braggy biatch."
Sorry, but that shit made me giggle and so I feel better. I'm still probably going to waste this day and be totally unhealthy, but I'll also clean and plan to be more productive tomorrow. Why not just jump back in, after all? I felt good and happy until just recently and so I'm going to do what I can to get that back and stop being such a child.
Somewhat off topic: I can't help but wonder if this is part of my bipolar disorder, a giant mood swing or something.
Was doing all sorts of great and then WHAM! downward spiral. I've not bathed since Wednesday and have been wearing the same clothes since Thursday. I've been living off of alcohol and frozen pizza (OK, well, I did make a version of one of the Laundress's recipes for pizza but I don't feel I deserve credit since it was still pizza). I've cried kind of a lot and I've pretty much shut down. Oh, except for when I treated Teacher like a total dick for no good reason. That was awesome of me, I'm sure.
What happened? Well, my company passed the audit with flying colors. My manager spoke at an all associate's meeting and when he spoke of the audit and of this other thing, he mentioned all sorts of people but not yours truly, and I'm a direct fucking report and I worked my ass off. For some reason, that really bothered me. Well, that and the fact that I'm probably not going to get the assistant he promised me.Tits will go full time next week and she'll no longer be giving me 16 hours of help a week. I was supposed to get my own hire but the budget is being slashed so who knows. And even though Powerful Woman is doing what she can to fight for the position, she isn't doing it for me but for the person I want to hire. It feels like no one really gives a shit about how hard my job can be or how hard I work.
So basically, I've been stewing in a little woe is me pity party for the last few days. I'm pretty unhappy in my job and I'm lonely in my personal life and isn't that all so unique and new? I've basically been a pouty little princess for the last few days. But I think I've snapped out of it some what. Part of what helped was the following conversation I just had on facebook with BFF.
Me: "I am a mess. All those lovely new years resolutions and excellent progress have evidently been flushed down the drain. I think I've even been wearing the same clothes for three days now. I am obviously killing 2013."
BFF: "I am on a no booze-cruise and weening myself off caffeine. Working my way up to no sugar and no gluten. Go me."
Me: "I haven't bathed in days and have been subsisting on frozen pizza and alcohol. I am the Goofus to your Gallant your braggy biatch."
Sorry, but that shit made me giggle and so I feel better. I'm still probably going to waste this day and be totally unhealthy, but I'll also clean and plan to be more productive tomorrow. Why not just jump back in, after all? I felt good and happy until just recently and so I'm going to do what I can to get that back and stop being such a child.
Somewhat off topic: I can't help but wonder if this is part of my bipolar disorder, a giant mood swing or something.
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