Horrors
You know the brother I don't ever talk about because we have no relationship? I think I've mentioned before that his wife has synovial sarcoma, a very rare form of soft tissue cancer that strikes younger people. She was diagnosed about three years ago, I believe, and she had her right leg, below the knee, amputated three years ago around Christmas. Then she underwent chemotherapy and she had good results only to have the cancer come back. She then did a clinical trial and had good results, only to have the cancer come back. Then she had surgery, in which they broke her ribs to get to the tumor(s) and had good results, only to have it come back.
When I visited my mom for Thanksgiving, she told me that Brother told her that SIL was no longer talking about treatment and that he was afraid to talk to her because he didn't want her to push back even more. You wonder why someone would do that, give up and not want to continue treatment, but think about it. She has never felt ill save for how the treatments have made her feel. And after all the pain and sickness of said treatment, she's had good results only to have the cancer come back. At what point would you give up and not want to undergo it anymore? How many times could you deal with being teased, undergoing grueling treatment, getting good results, only to be defeated yet again? SIL lasted three years.
I received an email from my mom last night stating that SIL's tumors are back, one the size of a baseball. She needs surgery, chemo, or an experimental treatment but they have to test her to see what her body can withstand. We've always known that her chances of seeing 40 were slim and we are up against it now. We aren't close but my heart breaks because she is so young. I think she is 33 or 34 at the oldest and she's led a clean life; she's been a vegetarian ever since I knew her (and she's been with my brother since I was about 16), she doesn't smoke or drink. She's so young and her life might be over.
Brother and I have never gotten along and don't have a a relationship but my heart breaks for him as well because I don't know what he'll do if he loses her. It's tragic.
Lighter Side
I received a card from Shared Solutions (makers of my DMT) today. I thought maybe it was a birthday card since I'll be 32 on Saturday and my work sends me a card every year, but I was wrong. Oh, it was a happy anniversary card, but it was literally a card congratulating me on having taken my drug for a year. It suggested that I celebrate my one year commitment by going out for a fun night on the town or staying in and watching my favorite movie or show. I looked at it and thought "are you fucking kidding me?" Who celebrates their year anniversary of taking a medication? I think Birdy was the one who said "does Hallmark make a card for this?" It cracked my shit up.
32
So yes! My birthday is on Saturday and I'll be 32! This will be my first birthday truly alone as J and I hung out last year. I went to AZ for Thanksgiving and my mom totally caved and gave me my birthday presents. My best friend gave me my presents this week. As noted above, my company already sent me my birthday card. So all the fun birthday stuff is out of the way and, since Teacher is in the U.A.E. (which is turning 41 this year), he will not be calling me and saying "hey, I was listening to the radio and they mentioned that John Lennon died 32 years ago and that reminded me that it is your birthday." Cause he will only have known me for 32 years and John Lennon for exactly zero years.
Hunter, my best friend, had his birthday in June and it sucked. Leading up to it, I was trying to convince him that it was going to be awesome because it was his Birthday!!! and birthdays are awesome. They are your day, when people wish you well and lavish attention on you. He commented that his birthdays usually sucked and that made me realize that my last couple haven't been that great. But I still look forward to it every year, including this one, even though I didn't do my usual two to three month warm up of "my birthday is coming up soon" nonsense. Part of it isn't my fault. Mom was born June 1st and spent years having her day rolled into Memorial Day weekend and she hated it (I think you can tell how much she hated it by the bold, italics, and underlining). So when her youngest was born on December 8th, she made the decision that not one damned person was going to think that it was at all OK to put the birthday with Christmas. Decorations were never put up until December 9th and if anyone asked if they could give me both presents at once she let them know it would be fine and she'd do the same for their child. Later in life I would do the same. "Do you mind if I give you your birthday and Christmas presents together" they would ask. "Not at all, I'll do the same," I would reply. "But my birthday is in April," my gentle interlocutor would respond. "Yeah?"
I grew up thinking we all made a big damned deal out of our birthdays and it was until a few years ago when I asked Mom if my brothers did the same that she explained it to me. Part of it is just me though. Mouse, a very good friend of mine, was born on December 6th. Every year that I was in Delaware and I knew her, we would just treat the week like we owned that shit. We'd even toast a kid she'd taught back in the day when she was a kindergarten teacher whose birthday was December 7th (she threw a record once, as part of a performance, and I think he got hit). We were insufferable. But we rejoiced because it was OUR new year, OUR birthday. So even if I have had a few bad ones, I still look forward to it like most kids look forward to Christmas. It gives me a good out, as well, when people ask if I'm revved up or ready for the holiday season because I can say"I don't do celebrate the holidays". When they ask about it or press me, I can say "I was born in December and so that is my holiday."
It is, after all, a Catholic Feast Day (Day of the Immaculate Conception in case you were wondering. Tits thought she was telling me something new when she learned that from her mom. Her response was akin to "I'm sure Simply, my atheist friend, will be terribly interested to know that."
So happy birthday to me and long live the Wu-Tang and all of that.
I know why zebras have stripes, do you?
You know the brother I don't ever talk about because we have no relationship? I think I've mentioned before that his wife has synovial sarcoma, a very rare form of soft tissue cancer that strikes younger people. She was diagnosed about three years ago, I believe, and she had her right leg, below the knee, amputated three years ago around Christmas. Then she underwent chemotherapy and she had good results only to have the cancer come back. She then did a clinical trial and had good results, only to have the cancer come back. Then she had surgery, in which they broke her ribs to get to the tumor(s) and had good results, only to have it come back.
When I visited my mom for Thanksgiving, she told me that Brother told her that SIL was no longer talking about treatment and that he was afraid to talk to her because he didn't want her to push back even more. You wonder why someone would do that, give up and not want to continue treatment, but think about it. She has never felt ill save for how the treatments have made her feel. And after all the pain and sickness of said treatment, she's had good results only to have the cancer come back. At what point would you give up and not want to undergo it anymore? How many times could you deal with being teased, undergoing grueling treatment, getting good results, only to be defeated yet again? SIL lasted three years.
I received an email from my mom last night stating that SIL's tumors are back, one the size of a baseball. She needs surgery, chemo, or an experimental treatment but they have to test her to see what her body can withstand. We've always known that her chances of seeing 40 were slim and we are up against it now. We aren't close but my heart breaks because she is so young. I think she is 33 or 34 at the oldest and she's led a clean life; she's been a vegetarian ever since I knew her (and she's been with my brother since I was about 16), she doesn't smoke or drink. She's so young and her life might be over.
Brother and I have never gotten along and don't have a a relationship but my heart breaks for him as well because I don't know what he'll do if he loses her. It's tragic.
Lighter Side
I received a card from Shared Solutions (makers of my DMT) today. I thought maybe it was a birthday card since I'll be 32 on Saturday and my work sends me a card every year, but I was wrong. Oh, it was a happy anniversary card, but it was literally a card congratulating me on having taken my drug for a year. It suggested that I celebrate my one year commitment by going out for a fun night on the town or staying in and watching my favorite movie or show. I looked at it and thought "are you fucking kidding me?" Who celebrates their year anniversary of taking a medication? I think Birdy was the one who said "does Hallmark make a card for this?" It cracked my shit up.
32
So yes! My birthday is on Saturday and I'll be 32! This will be my first birthday truly alone as J and I hung out last year. I went to AZ for Thanksgiving and my mom totally caved and gave me my birthday presents. My best friend gave me my presents this week. As noted above, my company already sent me my birthday card. So all the fun birthday stuff is out of the way and, since Teacher is in the U.A.E. (which is turning 41 this year), he will not be calling me and saying "hey, I was listening to the radio and they mentioned that John Lennon died 32 years ago and that reminded me that it is your birthday." Cause he will only have known me for 32 years and John Lennon for exactly zero years.
Hunter, my best friend, had his birthday in June and it sucked. Leading up to it, I was trying to convince him that it was going to be awesome because it was his Birthday!!! and birthdays are awesome. They are your day, when people wish you well and lavish attention on you. He commented that his birthdays usually sucked and that made me realize that my last couple haven't been that great. But I still look forward to it every year, including this one, even though I didn't do my usual two to three month warm up of "my birthday is coming up soon" nonsense. Part of it isn't my fault. Mom was born June 1st and spent years having her day rolled into Memorial Day weekend and she hated it (I think you can tell how much she hated it by the bold, italics, and underlining). So when her youngest was born on December 8th, she made the decision that not one damned person was going to think that it was at all OK to put the birthday with Christmas. Decorations were never put up until December 9th and if anyone asked if they could give me both presents at once she let them know it would be fine and she'd do the same for their child. Later in life I would do the same. "Do you mind if I give you your birthday and Christmas presents together" they would ask. "Not at all, I'll do the same," I would reply. "But my birthday is in April," my gentle interlocutor would respond. "Yeah?"
I grew up thinking we all made a big damned deal out of our birthdays and it was until a few years ago when I asked Mom if my brothers did the same that she explained it to me. Part of it is just me though. Mouse, a very good friend of mine, was born on December 6th. Every year that I was in Delaware and I knew her, we would just treat the week like we owned that shit. We'd even toast a kid she'd taught back in the day when she was a kindergarten teacher whose birthday was December 7th (she threw a record once, as part of a performance, and I think he got hit). We were insufferable. But we rejoiced because it was OUR new year, OUR birthday. So even if I have had a few bad ones, I still look forward to it like most kids look forward to Christmas. It gives me a good out, as well, when people ask if I'm revved up or ready for the holiday season because I can say"I don't do celebrate the holidays". When they ask about it or press me, I can say "I was born in December and so that is my holiday."
It is, after all, a Catholic Feast Day (Day of the Immaculate Conception in case you were wondering. Tits thought she was telling me something new when she learned that from her mom. Her response was akin to "I'm sure Simply, my atheist friend, will be terribly interested to know that."
So happy birthday to me and long live the Wu-Tang and all of that.
I know why zebras have stripes, do you?
No comments:
Post a Comment