1 wish 2 wish Red fish Blue Fish

Wish List

Tea/Coffee Related

1: Pretty tea pot

2: Pretty tea cup

3: Loose green tea

4: Good, whole bean coffee for work

5: Cream pitcher for work, preferably shaped like an animal

Wish List

Non Tea/Coffee Related

1: I think I’d like to have people “follow” my blog

2: I need new bras and underpants

3: More energy, but not the 5-hour induced kind

4: New skirts

5: New clothes in general

6: A better intranet and human resources department

Gevault. Our company has some outsourced, third-party group that is auditing dependent status in order to prove that our spouses/domestic partners really are our spouses/domestic partners and that we really did give birth to that baby we mentioned. I may just have to submit a joint checking account with both my and J’s name on it or I may have to submit that with a copy of my marriage certificate. I’m hoping not since I submitted that last year. If I do, I think I’ll fuck with HR and e-mail them questions like this:

“I have a copy of my 2010 tax return, which I filed jointly with my husband. I can’t find my marriage certificate, though. Can I submit a picture of the two of us hugging with a current newspaper in the frame?”

“I can’t find the documents needed, but here is a copy of the sex tape we made on our anniversary three months ago. If you turn up the volume you can clearly hear my husband say ‘happy anniversary, baby!’. I’m also including a notarized statement from my mother and my husband’s mother, both testifying that the individuals in the video are who I say they are.”

“I notice that the company covers legally married individuals as well as domestic partners. Does this mean that I can cover both my husband and my long-term boyfriend? He’s only 18 and he just graduated from high school so he doesn’t have a full-time job yet. We have a joint checking account, one that my husband doesn’t know about.”

Hmm, maybe not. I don’t want to end up on someone elses “Stupidest Questions I’ve Heard as an HR Employee” or something. My idiocy is to drive traffic to my own blog only.