Let's Get Waxed!
Ugh. I almost made it this time, almost had a completely unremarkable Brazilian wax. But then, suddenly, the lady was guiding my fingers so that I could spread out my labia. Why? "It keeps it straight and doesn't hurt as much." I didn't ask, she just said, after she tore the hair out "see? It doesn't hurt as much because you kept it straight for me!"
Why? Is this common? Do all women have weird/comical experiences when they get their lady garden eradicated? If I could afford electrolysis I think I'd go for it. What's worse is I needed other items waxed. I don't know if I mentioned that time when, after doing my eyebrows and preparing my upper lip, Lee asked if I wanted my chin done. Dafuq? I'm already growing a beard? Well yeah, that happened and I felt like balls about it. But now I know to ask if I need it done and I'm nonchalant about it.
Bitch waxed me down my fucking neck! I have hair that needs to be waxed from my freaking neck? I knew it. My father was a Sasquatch.
Lunch and Learn - Learn to Read the Email
I signed up for a lunch and learn at work about lady hormones. It was billed as being about thyroid issues and menopause. I was all, meh, I'll go, I have a thyroid and can use a free lunch (because my company caters in some good shit sometimes). They were also going to award one lucky winner a $50 Visa card so why not?
I was running late this morning and just as I was about to throw together a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, I remembered "oooo! Lunch and learn! Score!" So I stopped at Starbucks and got a grande cappuccino (notice I did not say non-fat because apparently full fat dairy is good these days) and ealt with traffic and go to work.
I was puttering along, studying documentation for something I'll have to test down the road when I decided I'd better check the email about the lunch and learn so that I knew where to go. That is when I saw that it said, very clearly "remember to bring our lunch! :) ".
DAFUQ?
Long story short, I ended up spending an hour of my day at a lunchless lunch and learn about fucking menopause. I didn't even win the god damn gift card.
Life's disappointments, amirite? I had two string cheeses, a handful of bagel chips, a healthy version of a fruit rollup, and a tiny bit of fruit. Awesome.
To be fair, I did make this awesome dinner of chicken stuffed with onions, mushrooms, parsley and swiss cheese wrapped up in bacon with a side of steamed broccoli. But not the point, my friends, not my point at all.
My point is... give me fifty dollars.
Ugh. I almost made it this time, almost had a completely unremarkable Brazilian wax. But then, suddenly, the lady was guiding my fingers so that I could spread out my labia. Why? "It keeps it straight and doesn't hurt as much." I didn't ask, she just said, after she tore the hair out "see? It doesn't hurt as much because you kept it straight for me!"
Why? Is this common? Do all women have weird/comical experiences when they get their lady garden eradicated? If I could afford electrolysis I think I'd go for it. What's worse is I needed other items waxed. I don't know if I mentioned that time when, after doing my eyebrows and preparing my upper lip, Lee asked if I wanted my chin done. Dafuq? I'm already growing a beard? Well yeah, that happened and I felt like balls about it. But now I know to ask if I need it done and I'm nonchalant about it.
Bitch waxed me down my fucking neck! I have hair that needs to be waxed from my freaking neck? I knew it. My father was a Sasquatch.
Lunch and Learn - Learn to Read the Email
I signed up for a lunch and learn at work about lady hormones. It was billed as being about thyroid issues and menopause. I was all, meh, I'll go, I have a thyroid and can use a free lunch (because my company caters in some good shit sometimes). They were also going to award one lucky winner a $50 Visa card so why not?
I was running late this morning and just as I was about to throw together a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, I remembered "oooo! Lunch and learn! Score!" So I stopped at Starbucks and got a grande cappuccino (notice I did not say non-fat because apparently full fat dairy is good these days) and ealt with traffic and go to work.
I was puttering along, studying documentation for something I'll have to test down the road when I decided I'd better check the email about the lunch and learn so that I knew where to go. That is when I saw that it said, very clearly "remember to bring our lunch! :) ".
DAFUQ?
Long story short, I ended up spending an hour of my day at a lunchless lunch and learn about fucking menopause. I didn't even win the god damn gift card.
Life's disappointments, amirite? I had two string cheeses, a handful of bagel chips, a healthy version of a fruit rollup, and a tiny bit of fruit. Awesome.
To be fair, I did make this awesome dinner of chicken stuffed with onions, mushrooms, parsley and swiss cheese wrapped up in bacon with a side of steamed broccoli. But not the point, my friends, not my point at all.
My point is... give me fifty dollars.
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