I'm being a big girl and thinking about my relationship, regardless of how uncomfortable it makes me. I've also spoken with BFF about it. One of the shittiest things is that I really, really do not want to end up being that girl who trains her boyfriend to be a great boyfriend for the next girlfriend. The other really shitty thing is that he evidently used to be a great boyfriend roughly 16 years ago, before his crap ex-wife came into the picture and changed his outlook on things.
I'm not his ex-wife. I don't know why I have to tell him "girls like to hear nice things and be told that their boyfriends like them from time to time" or just "please treat me like your girlfriend." It's hurtful and embarrassing and even when he does manage to say something nice without it sounding obligatory, he goes and fucks it up. Just the other day, out of nowhere, he said "you know something? I like you." Just when I was feeling smiley inside he said "did I do that right?" and ruined it.
So my issues are: zero security because he made it clear from the beginning that this isn't forever (he used to say thing like he was happy "for now" and even though he quit saying "for now" at my request, my brain is trained to know "this isn't going to last"); zero knowledge of what the hell he thinks because he doesn't like to talk about it; zero romance.
Like I said, 16 or 17 years ago he was a great boyfriend. I know because he showed me a Facebook message from someone he dated way back when and it was clear that he was awesome. How do you forget how to do it? Or is it a choice because "my ex-wife was a cunt and she was my last long-term relationship so I'm basing everything off of that" regardless of the fact that I'm not his ex-wife or a cunt? I just don't know. And I don't know what I want to do. Do I walk away or do I talk to him about it?
Because like I said, I have zero interest in prepping him and reminding him of how to be an awesome boyfriend for the next girl. I deserve more than that. I deserve the awesome boyfriend.
I'm not his ex-wife. I don't know why I have to tell him "girls like to hear nice things and be told that their boyfriends like them from time to time" or just "please treat me like your girlfriend." It's hurtful and embarrassing and even when he does manage to say something nice without it sounding obligatory, he goes and fucks it up. Just the other day, out of nowhere, he said "you know something? I like you." Just when I was feeling smiley inside he said "did I do that right?" and ruined it.
So my issues are: zero security because he made it clear from the beginning that this isn't forever (he used to say thing like he was happy "for now" and even though he quit saying "for now" at my request, my brain is trained to know "this isn't going to last"); zero knowledge of what the hell he thinks because he doesn't like to talk about it; zero romance.
Like I said, 16 or 17 years ago he was a great boyfriend. I know because he showed me a Facebook message from someone he dated way back when and it was clear that he was awesome. How do you forget how to do it? Or is it a choice because "my ex-wife was a cunt and she was my last long-term relationship so I'm basing everything off of that" regardless of the fact that I'm not his ex-wife or a cunt? I just don't know. And I don't know what I want to do. Do I walk away or do I talk to him about it?
Because like I said, I have zero interest in prepping him and reminding him of how to be an awesome boyfriend for the next girl. I deserve more than that. I deserve the awesome boyfriend.
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