No one wants to do my job, at least, that's how it seems. The short notice means that my office is scrambling to find where to place my soon to be former responsibilities and it is turning into a nightmare. Suddenly people are realizing the enormity of what I do.
That isn't meant to make me seem like a martyr. I do a lot of behind the scenes kind of things and I've been self-sufficient for the past two plus years so no one really had a chance to understand how involved my job has been. Now they are seeing "oh shit, no, this isn't something one person can reasonably be expected to do and we probably should have had some back up for business continuity." So I'll be training four people who have full time jobs to take pieces of mine so that things don't slip through the cracks.
The next person who asks me "what resources do we have available to help with this" is getting punched in the throat. Because I haven't had any resources. I've been doing this bullshit on my own, shouldering the responsibility and blame alone. If I had any resources do you think I'd look so stressed and miserable all the time? I didn't even know I looked like that until about a18 months ago when I started to try and get Jilly Bean, my replacement under Boss, to switch jobs with me. "Wanna switch jobs?" I'd ask? "Uhm, not really. You look stressed out a lot of the time" she'd say. That or "no, you look really unhappy most of the time."
I find part of this whole ordeal insulting because so many people thought it would be so simple to replace me. I'm not irreplaceable and there are people who can do what I've done far better than I, but I've been busting my ass for years and no one realized just how hard I've been working or how complicated my job is. Another part of me is just confused and a bit disturbed that the higher ups weren't more prepared. And I'm not going to lie, part of me just thinks "well, fuck you, I did my part and I have nothing to regret so this is on you. Thanks for making me work like a dog without noticing. Bet you'll notice now."
That's ugly, isn't it? The thing is, I'm just one part of the company and if they'd had any foresight, I wouldn't matter a lick. As it is, they worked things so that I am unnecessarily important because they either thought I'd never leave or they never thought to look into my work. Maybe if someone had taken a moment to look at the manual I wrote and consider from that how much work is involved they would have thought differently. But they didn't.
Boss was really nice about it. She told me I couldn't worry too much about what I'm leaving and how it works out because it isn't my fault and it is out of my hands. She told me she wouldn't let anyone speak badly of me, lay blame on me, or spit on my chair when I'm gone. She knows that I have a certain amount of guilt leaving. I built my position from the bottom up and I worked hard, in part, because I care about the people I worked with and wanted to help them. I hate the idea of leaving my work and possibly causing hiccups. But I also know that things will recover very quickly. For one, if you focus and pay attention, you can do my job. For two, things will always move forward with or without me. I'm not that important and I am not that vital. I've done a damned good job but so will the next person, or else that person will be let go and they'll bring in someone new.
But at least I know that others are finally realizing that I've not been sitting around twiddling my thumbs and waiting for work but, rather, earning every cent of my paycheck every single day. And I've updated my manual and created a supplement so that I'll be a distant thought sooner rather than later.
That isn't meant to make me seem like a martyr. I do a lot of behind the scenes kind of things and I've been self-sufficient for the past two plus years so no one really had a chance to understand how involved my job has been. Now they are seeing "oh shit, no, this isn't something one person can reasonably be expected to do and we probably should have had some back up for business continuity." So I'll be training four people who have full time jobs to take pieces of mine so that things don't slip through the cracks.
The next person who asks me "what resources do we have available to help with this" is getting punched in the throat. Because I haven't had any resources. I've been doing this bullshit on my own, shouldering the responsibility and blame alone. If I had any resources do you think I'd look so stressed and miserable all the time? I didn't even know I looked like that until about a18 months ago when I started to try and get Jilly Bean, my replacement under Boss, to switch jobs with me. "Wanna switch jobs?" I'd ask? "Uhm, not really. You look stressed out a lot of the time" she'd say. That or "no, you look really unhappy most of the time."
I find part of this whole ordeal insulting because so many people thought it would be so simple to replace me. I'm not irreplaceable and there are people who can do what I've done far better than I, but I've been busting my ass for years and no one realized just how hard I've been working or how complicated my job is. Another part of me is just confused and a bit disturbed that the higher ups weren't more prepared. And I'm not going to lie, part of me just thinks "well, fuck you, I did my part and I have nothing to regret so this is on you. Thanks for making me work like a dog without noticing. Bet you'll notice now."
That's ugly, isn't it? The thing is, I'm just one part of the company and if they'd had any foresight, I wouldn't matter a lick. As it is, they worked things so that I am unnecessarily important because they either thought I'd never leave or they never thought to look into my work. Maybe if someone had taken a moment to look at the manual I wrote and consider from that how much work is involved they would have thought differently. But they didn't.
Boss was really nice about it. She told me I couldn't worry too much about what I'm leaving and how it works out because it isn't my fault and it is out of my hands. She told me she wouldn't let anyone speak badly of me, lay blame on me, or spit on my chair when I'm gone. She knows that I have a certain amount of guilt leaving. I built my position from the bottom up and I worked hard, in part, because I care about the people I worked with and wanted to help them. I hate the idea of leaving my work and possibly causing hiccups. But I also know that things will recover very quickly. For one, if you focus and pay attention, you can do my job. For two, things will always move forward with or without me. I'm not that important and I am not that vital. I've done a damned good job but so will the next person, or else that person will be let go and they'll bring in someone new.
But at least I know that others are finally realizing that I've not been sitting around twiddling my thumbs and waiting for work but, rather, earning every cent of my paycheck every single day. And I've updated my manual and created a supplement so that I'll be a distant thought sooner rather than later.
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