Camping was supposed to provide us with some one on one time so we could reconnect and be boyfriend and girlfriend for awhile. Unfortunately, the Bat's security guard and her friends never showed up so it was just Honey and us. We had a good time but the Bat and I couldn't just leave Honey on her own while we went off as a couple. It would have been rude.
With Monkey working and relying on her dad for transportation, coupled with the fact that it is like pulling teeth to get the Bat to come to my place, it feels like I'm in a long distance relationship. I don't go to his place because there are too many people there and the morning commute is a nightmare since I have to go home and feed my cat. That and it actually fucks with me that I always go there because this is something the Bat and I discussed months ago (like six months or more at this point) and he promised he'd come over more. Even before Monkey started working there was usually a reason why he couldn't come over unless it was a Wednesday, the one single day of the week when he'd concede and come to my apartment. If it wasn't a Wednesday there was definitely a reason. Seriously, I think he maybe came one extra day in the last six to eight months.
Not that I'm bitter about that or anything. Obvs.
He was supposed to come over last night. We were going to watch a movie. Unfortunately, he didn't confirm things with the kiddo so thought the work schedule on the fridge was current when it was really last week's. So at the very end of my work day he told me that it was off because he had to take Monkey to work. I'll admit that I did get upset but I kept telling myself to knock that off because it doesn't do any good. I'm also used to this so should be neither surprised nor unduly upset. It's difficult though, because, as I've said before, I can't control these stupid lady feelings. I recently emailed the Bat to explain what I've been trying to tell him for weeks now. I need to feel like I'm a girlfriend. I need to feel appreciated. I need to feel loved and cared for. I actually asked him "what would you do if you wanted a girl to know that you loved her? What would you do to show a girl that you cared?"
He's made some efforts since then, for which I'm grateful, but it still stung that through his carelessness our plans were null and void. Monkey is off later this week but Spectero and I made plans last week so I'm unavailable.
Looks like for the time being I have a weekend boyfriend. Monkey goes for her license test on Monday so I guess maybe I'll get one extra day.
Sometimes I wonder if any of this is worth it.
*I got that picture from this website.
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