Monday, November 3, 2014

More Awesome Texting With Austin

Austin: "Got your facebook message. I'm sorry, I don't feel comfortable liking that. I don't like any pages on fb except for ones work requires me to like."

Simply: "Totally understandable."

Simply: "I mean, uh, we are no longer friends. That's the right reaction, yes?"

Austin: "Yes, it's been a good 12years. Well, nice knowing you. Have a good life."

Simply: "What happened to your friend, Austin? He wouldn't like my fetish Facebook page so I trashed 12 years of friendship."

Austin: "Oh wow. Yeah. Nuff said."

Simply: "You ask one possibly compromising favor and what do you get? Amirite?"

Austin: "You think you know people."

Simply: "I know! It's like my former friend Tina. I asked her to help me with one virgin sacrifice and se was all 'I'm not comfortable with that. And the girl is 13!' Like she even knew the kid!"

Austin: "lol"

Simply: "That would be an epic story though. 'Yeah, Simply wouldn't stay friends with me over a Facebook thing.'"
Austin: "If I had to write an obituary for our friendship, I'd want to go out like that."

Simply: "Def."

Austin: "No drift apart or that shit for us."

Simply: "And I'd delete the site and make a new one to raise money for MS so you'd look like a dick."

Austin: "lol you didn't want to give money to friends of MS Irving Chapter? You are an asshole, man."

Austin: "I swear that wasn't the original link."

Simply: "Dude, she has MS. What the fuck, you couldn't even like the page? Who are you?"

Simply: "Sure it was. And Tiny Tim had the cane for attention."

Austin: "Actual lol."

Simply: "So MS and crippled children are funny now? My god, Austin, THAT? That is the legacy you want to leave behind?"

Austin: "I imagine friends who don't even know you ditching me for you. 'You know, I work with you and all but I'm going to start texting Simply."

Simply: "Dude, that was fucked up. I messaged Simply and she's a sweet girl. How could you shit on her when she faces such struggles?"

Simply: "Did you seriously send her a bunch of wheelchair pictures saying 'see you soon'?"

Austin: "It as supposed to be ironic. Jeez."

Simply: "You know this is all going on my blog right?"

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