Waste
I am in a very ridiculous mood. Disenchanted perhaps? I don't know. I think the hip young person terminology circa 2003 would be that I'm simply not feeling it. I am at work, retooling some UAT documentation, wishing I had an interesting task before me, and feeling bored and lonely.
Murdoch and I talked last night. I pissed him off by accident when I failed to use a gender specific pronoun when I texted to let him know I'm going to a rodeo on Saturday evening. I said "with someone from work" rather than "with a woman from work." Honestly, I said "someone" because the circumstances are silly and borderline creepy. I all but accosted this woman in the hallway, asking if she was So and So. She said yes and asked who I was and I had to explain that oh no, she doesn't know me, I just remember her from when she came to the Columbus office a couple of years ago. Why the fuck did I do that? Just to confirm that I remembered her name? That's creepy. But we chatted a bit and she said she'd like to go to the Mesquite Rodeo, I sent her a link and next thing you know, Bob's your uncle and I have $62 on my desk to give to her for my ticket (good seats and free food and booze).
But that is neither here nor there. Murdoch and I started talking about how you can't see yourself the way others do. Or else, he called me and started teasing me and telling me I was insane to believe that pictures weren't really what we look like or that pictures are the same as a mirror's reflection. I fought my side pretty hard. We weren't having an actual argument and it was all playful but I suddenly found myself really wanting to prove that I was right. In fact, I just took a minute to google various words yet again only to be met with defeat (FYI: If you type "Pictures" into the google bar, the first or second suggested phrase is "of herpes"). It was fun, even though it turns out I was wrong, and it was nice to actually hear from him for a change. On the phone and everything. I know, right? All fancy with my walking talkie box.
So that was that.
Now I feel flat and empty and annoyed. I feel weirdly hopeful as well. I guess it's a sense of baseless anticipation, like something good is going to happen any minute now and I'm just waiting for it only who the fuck knows what is going to happen next?
But at least I killed a few minutes. Back to whatever it is that I do. And a trip to the ladies because I have been drinking cup after cup of water.
I am in a very ridiculous mood. Disenchanted perhaps? I don't know. I think the hip young person terminology circa 2003 would be that I'm simply not feeling it. I am at work, retooling some UAT documentation, wishing I had an interesting task before me, and feeling bored and lonely.
Murdoch and I talked last night. I pissed him off by accident when I failed to use a gender specific pronoun when I texted to let him know I'm going to a rodeo on Saturday evening. I said "with someone from work" rather than "with a woman from work." Honestly, I said "someone" because the circumstances are silly and borderline creepy. I all but accosted this woman in the hallway, asking if she was So and So. She said yes and asked who I was and I had to explain that oh no, she doesn't know me, I just remember her from when she came to the Columbus office a couple of years ago. Why the fuck did I do that? Just to confirm that I remembered her name? That's creepy. But we chatted a bit and she said she'd like to go to the Mesquite Rodeo, I sent her a link and next thing you know, Bob's your uncle and I have $62 on my desk to give to her for my ticket (good seats and free food and booze).
But that is neither here nor there. Murdoch and I started talking about how you can't see yourself the way others do. Or else, he called me and started teasing me and telling me I was insane to believe that pictures weren't really what we look like or that pictures are the same as a mirror's reflection. I fought my side pretty hard. We weren't having an actual argument and it was all playful but I suddenly found myself really wanting to prove that I was right. In fact, I just took a minute to google various words yet again only to be met with defeat (FYI: If you type "Pictures" into the google bar, the first or second suggested phrase is "of herpes"). It was fun, even though it turns out I was wrong, and it was nice to actually hear from him for a change. On the phone and everything. I know, right? All fancy with my walking talkie box.
So that was that.
Now I feel flat and empty and annoyed. I feel weirdly hopeful as well. I guess it's a sense of baseless anticipation, like something good is going to happen any minute now and I'm just waiting for it only who the fuck knows what is going to happen next?
But at least I killed a few minutes. Back to whatever it is that I do. And a trip to the ladies because I have been drinking cup after cup of water.
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