Happy New Year! The holiday season has finally ended and we are all, I'm certain, bloated and achy from the excessive celebrations of welcoming the new year. I know I'm one fat fatty who has to reign some shit in and shed the pounds and I can't be alone. So I'm making an actual effort beginning today to do something about this. And other stuff. You know, resolutions and whatnot. I'm tempted to wait until next Monday seeing as, in my mind, the New Year doesn't really start until the first full week, but that's a cop out and I'm trying to be less lazy so January 2nd it is.
Please, we all know January 1st is recovery day. It just is. We stay up, drink way too much, probably eat too little, and wake up hung over and far less merry than we were when we went to sleep. There is no way in hell I'm starting any resolutions on the first.* Do you know what I did? I suggested to the Bat that we ditch the house full of people and go get breakfast. And we did! I was just thinking something simple and easy but he took us all the way to my old neck of the woods to Cracker Barrel, where I have not been in years, and where we had to wait for 30 minutes in a very crowded store area. But it was worth it in the end and I thought it was very sweet of him. I said as much and he said "well, you said you wanted a really good breakfast." I didn't, but it was nice of him nonetheless. Funny guy is our Bat. A lot of the time he doesn't listen; I don't mean that he flat out ignores you, necessarily but when you begin talking he'll cut you off and it's obvious (after you've gotten to know him) that he was in the middle of a thought or concentrating on something (Useful Tip: If the Bat is looking at his phone or his tablet, he may be searching for something that someone mentioned awhile ago and you probably shouldn't try to engage him in conversation until he is done because he will, undoubtedly, cut you off to talk to the other person about whatever it was he was looking at). He also prides himself on 'selective hearing', a stereotype he adheres as a proactive measure against stereotypical female behavior (e.g., if a woman is talking, there is a very good chance that she is whining about nothing, talking about something that bores him, asking him to do something, or some other sitcom fodder like 'typical' female behavior).**
But every so often he surprises you by doing something really nice like taking you to Cracker Barrel for breakfast when you were expecting something like Bob Evans. Or you find an electronic cigarette in your stocking and think "holy shit! He remembered my saying I wanted one for my birthday." Or he will spontaneously tell you that he likes you and you'll know it isn't part of his obligatory repertoire if only because he is, quite obviously, drunk.
I'm glad the holidays are over. The Bat is less stressed, people have calmed down, and we can all go about our business as usual. It feels odd to be in January 2014 and I keep forgetting I'm not in December anymore. But I look forward to things going back to usual with the standard routine (new movies on Tuesdays, occasional happy hour*** on Wednesdays, endless laundry, etc) and less food and booze. Yes, it is fun to come home and find all kinds of snacks on the counters and packed into the refrigerator and freezer from time to time but after awhile the gluttony catches up with me and I just feel heavy and stupid and lazy. Eventually, all I want to do is clean out every cabinet and the refrigerator, make everything uber clean, and start throwing out some of my stuff. Not food necessarily, but just stuff. The purge after the binge I suppose.
After work I'll go to my apartment and see what I can get rid of and what I can bring over to the Bat Cave. I don't want to move too much right now because 'the kids' as I call the Italian and the Honduran (Italian = the Bat's former foreign exchange student; the Honduran is the Italian's boyfriend) will be here for a couple more weeks and there isn't a lot of extra space to put things. As it is, I have very limited space for my clothing. But I want to start the process so that I can throw out as I go and get as much over as possible to avoid a nightmarish rush at the last second. Afterwards, if I have the energy, I'll try to sort some stuff out in the Bat's room (after I've spoken with him, of course; I know I'd want to smack a person if they just started moving my stuff around but I really would like to have another laundry basket and there are three in his room that are filled with other stuff and he just has all sorts of bits and pieces laying about).
So that's that. I really suck at wrapping posts up lately, don't I? Not that the posts have been that great. I'm going to blame the cold. The coldest place in the Bat Cave is the Bat's bedroom and master bath. There is no carpeting (linoleum in the bathroom and concrete in the bedroom) and there is no insulation on the double doors (French? I don't know but they have a bunch of little windows) that lead outside so we freeze until we are under the electric blanket, snuggling. In bed it isn't so bad but it's a hell of a wake up when you climb out at 6 a.m. (or earlier next week, as I'll have to start getting up to avoid terrible traffic when everyone goes back to work).
*Well, I was productive a bit. At one point in the evening I became a dervish of activity and folded laundry, did more laundry, cleaned the kitchen, made myself some food, and picked up in the bedroom. OK, so maybe "dervish of activity" is a stretch but I was sweaty and worn out by the time I was done.
**No, he isn't really some terrible misogynist who believes in the stereotypes about women - or rather, that all women fit said stereotype. I've asked him before because he posts that kind of shit on my facebook wall and I was all "hmm, if dude believes this shit to be true, we need to have a talk." And he told me that no, he doesn't buy into it but that a lot of women do fit the stereotypes (otherwise, said STs would not exist). He's correct, a lot of women do. But I don't fit a lot of them and I'm fairly certain he knows that by now and so when he says or posts certain things, I know he's just giving me shit because that is what he does.
***Without going into the details - because it would take forever - the Honduran has been the butt and brunt of a lot of sex jokes. Sometimes he is a maniac who fucks, or tries to fuck, everyone and everything. Other times he is to keep on his toes because, any minute now, he is going to be dominated. The Bat and I were joking with him the other day because everyone was gone but we three. The Bat asked what we were going to do and I said "I'll get the zipper mask and leather chaps" and the idea was that we were going to give the Honduran a proper welcome. After a good laugh and a bit of whatever (chores maybe), the Bat suggested Happy Hour. "Hey Honduran, since it is just the three of us, what do you say we go to happy hour?" The Honduran very politely said "no, I think I'm going to pass, but thanks." The Bat then said "come on man, you don't want to go and have a couple of drinks?" to which the Honduran replied "oh, you mean like at a bar? Yeah, sure!" Turns out he thought we meant some sort of kinky, sexual 'happy hour'. It was the best part of the holidays so far.
Please, we all know January 1st is recovery day. It just is. We stay up, drink way too much, probably eat too little, and wake up hung over and far less merry than we were when we went to sleep. There is no way in hell I'm starting any resolutions on the first.* Do you know what I did? I suggested to the Bat that we ditch the house full of people and go get breakfast. And we did! I was just thinking something simple and easy but he took us all the way to my old neck of the woods to Cracker Barrel, where I have not been in years, and where we had to wait for 30 minutes in a very crowded store area. But it was worth it in the end and I thought it was very sweet of him. I said as much and he said "well, you said you wanted a really good breakfast." I didn't, but it was nice of him nonetheless. Funny guy is our Bat. A lot of the time he doesn't listen; I don't mean that he flat out ignores you, necessarily but when you begin talking he'll cut you off and it's obvious (after you've gotten to know him) that he was in the middle of a thought or concentrating on something (Useful Tip: If the Bat is looking at his phone or his tablet, he may be searching for something that someone mentioned awhile ago and you probably shouldn't try to engage him in conversation until he is done because he will, undoubtedly, cut you off to talk to the other person about whatever it was he was looking at). He also prides himself on 'selective hearing', a stereotype he adheres as a proactive measure against stereotypical female behavior (e.g., if a woman is talking, there is a very good chance that she is whining about nothing, talking about something that bores him, asking him to do something, or some other sitcom fodder like 'typical' female behavior).**
But every so often he surprises you by doing something really nice like taking you to Cracker Barrel for breakfast when you were expecting something like Bob Evans. Or you find an electronic cigarette in your stocking and think "holy shit! He remembered my saying I wanted one for my birthday." Or he will spontaneously tell you that he likes you and you'll know it isn't part of his obligatory repertoire if only because he is, quite obviously, drunk.
I'm glad the holidays are over. The Bat is less stressed, people have calmed down, and we can all go about our business as usual. It feels odd to be in January 2014 and I keep forgetting I'm not in December anymore. But I look forward to things going back to usual with the standard routine (new movies on Tuesdays, occasional happy hour*** on Wednesdays, endless laundry, etc) and less food and booze. Yes, it is fun to come home and find all kinds of snacks on the counters and packed into the refrigerator and freezer from time to time but after awhile the gluttony catches up with me and I just feel heavy and stupid and lazy. Eventually, all I want to do is clean out every cabinet and the refrigerator, make everything uber clean, and start throwing out some of my stuff. Not food necessarily, but just stuff. The purge after the binge I suppose.
After work I'll go to my apartment and see what I can get rid of and what I can bring over to the Bat Cave. I don't want to move too much right now because 'the kids' as I call the Italian and the Honduran (Italian = the Bat's former foreign exchange student; the Honduran is the Italian's boyfriend) will be here for a couple more weeks and there isn't a lot of extra space to put things. As it is, I have very limited space for my clothing. But I want to start the process so that I can throw out as I go and get as much over as possible to avoid a nightmarish rush at the last second. Afterwards, if I have the energy, I'll try to sort some stuff out in the Bat's room (after I've spoken with him, of course; I know I'd want to smack a person if they just started moving my stuff around but I really would like to have another laundry basket and there are three in his room that are filled with other stuff and he just has all sorts of bits and pieces laying about).
So that's that. I really suck at wrapping posts up lately, don't I? Not that the posts have been that great. I'm going to blame the cold. The coldest place in the Bat Cave is the Bat's bedroom and master bath. There is no carpeting (linoleum in the bathroom and concrete in the bedroom) and there is no insulation on the double doors (French? I don't know but they have a bunch of little windows) that lead outside so we freeze until we are under the electric blanket, snuggling. In bed it isn't so bad but it's a hell of a wake up when you climb out at 6 a.m. (or earlier next week, as I'll have to start getting up to avoid terrible traffic when everyone goes back to work).
*Well, I was productive a bit. At one point in the evening I became a dervish of activity and folded laundry, did more laundry, cleaned the kitchen, made myself some food, and picked up in the bedroom. OK, so maybe "dervish of activity" is a stretch but I was sweaty and worn out by the time I was done.
**No, he isn't really some terrible misogynist who believes in the stereotypes about women - or rather, that all women fit said stereotype. I've asked him before because he posts that kind of shit on my facebook wall and I was all "hmm, if dude believes this shit to be true, we need to have a talk." And he told me that no, he doesn't buy into it but that a lot of women do fit the stereotypes (otherwise, said STs would not exist). He's correct, a lot of women do. But I don't fit a lot of them and I'm fairly certain he knows that by now and so when he says or posts certain things, I know he's just giving me shit because that is what he does.
***Without going into the details - because it would take forever - the Honduran has been the butt and brunt of a lot of sex jokes. Sometimes he is a maniac who fucks, or tries to fuck, everyone and everything. Other times he is to keep on his toes because, any minute now, he is going to be dominated. The Bat and I were joking with him the other day because everyone was gone but we three. The Bat asked what we were going to do and I said "I'll get the zipper mask and leather chaps" and the idea was that we were going to give the Honduran a proper welcome. After a good laugh and a bit of whatever (chores maybe), the Bat suggested Happy Hour. "Hey Honduran, since it is just the three of us, what do you say we go to happy hour?" The Honduran very politely said "no, I think I'm going to pass, but thanks." The Bat then said "come on man, you don't want to go and have a couple of drinks?" to which the Honduran replied "oh, you mean like at a bar? Yeah, sure!" Turns out he thought we meant some sort of kinky, sexual 'happy hour'. It was the best part of the holidays so far.
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