I worked from home today because I was up later than I thought I'd be on a conference call last night. I don't know why I have to tell you why I worked from home but there you go.
Home is, of course, the Bat Cave these days and yes, it's preferable over my place because, if for no other reason, the Bat always has food available. So far I've eaten five cheese slices and a remnant of a cookie. Because anything else would have taken effort and I only just now remembered that I think there is a yogurt or two left over. Even then I'd have to lift off the lid and possibly stir the fucker so that wouldn't have flown well either.
But the Bat Cave is fucking freezing at all times. Unless there is a fire going and you are sitting in front of it. But there is no more firewood (I don't think... the Bat is going with Phoenix to find some tomorrow) and even if there was firewood, the Bat isn't here to make me a fire. I think I can make one myself these days, but he does a far better job. And I don't have to get dirty hauling in the wood. So I'm cold. And lonely. And bored. Which is why I don't work from home too often (or try not to unless I'm sick like I was for the entire month of November). So I did what any girl in my situation would do and I harassed my boyfriend via text.
ME: "I'm bored and lonely. I'd make a terrible housewife."
BAT: "Poor baby."
ME: "Yes, I require sympathy, cuddles, attention, and petting. Tell work you have a pet emergency so you can leave early?"
BAT: " Lol. Yeah right."
ME: "Stupid work."
ME: "It's been 20 minutes. Did you get a more reasonable employer who will let you leave early?"
----intermission to discuss a video he posted on my facebook about the differences between porn sex and real sex and our mutual gratitude that we have pretty great sex----
ME: "We should buy good scotch. Because I can't get warm."
BAT: "Be my guest."
ME: "I'm not driving any more today. Almost got into an accident on my way home. I need my big strong man to protect me and ferry me around."
ME: "Also, I am super cute today. If I go out alone, men might make advances."
ME: "Then you'd have to explain to Monkey that I was gone because I was super cute and had been whisked away by another single father."
ME: "And she might know the guy's kid and sleepovers would be weird."
BAT: "Lol. Right. Get you a 3 minute man."
ME: "Are you saying that's all I'm cute enough to get (insert angry emoticon face)?"
BAT: "No. But apparently that's the norm and most aren't as skilled or experienced as me."
ME: "But surely I'll attract more men like you. they can scent it out, my own awesome skills."
He hasn't responded so I'm pretty sure he is racing home for fear that I'll go out on my own to buy scotch or seven snuggies and be whisked off my feet by a handsome, sexually advanced man.
Home is, of course, the Bat Cave these days and yes, it's preferable over my place because, if for no other reason, the Bat always has food available. So far I've eaten five cheese slices and a remnant of a cookie. Because anything else would have taken effort and I only just now remembered that I think there is a yogurt or two left over. Even then I'd have to lift off the lid and possibly stir the fucker so that wouldn't have flown well either.
But the Bat Cave is fucking freezing at all times. Unless there is a fire going and you are sitting in front of it. But there is no more firewood (I don't think... the Bat is going with Phoenix to find some tomorrow) and even if there was firewood, the Bat isn't here to make me a fire. I think I can make one myself these days, but he does a far better job. And I don't have to get dirty hauling in the wood. So I'm cold. And lonely. And bored. Which is why I don't work from home too often (or try not to unless I'm sick like I was for the entire month of November). So I did what any girl in my situation would do and I harassed my boyfriend via text.
ME: "I'm bored and lonely. I'd make a terrible housewife."
BAT: "Poor baby."
ME: "Yes, I require sympathy, cuddles, attention, and petting. Tell work you have a pet emergency so you can leave early?"
BAT: " Lol. Yeah right."
ME: "Stupid work."
ME: "It's been 20 minutes. Did you get a more reasonable employer who will let you leave early?"
----intermission to discuss a video he posted on my facebook about the differences between porn sex and real sex and our mutual gratitude that we have pretty great sex----
ME: "We should buy good scotch. Because I can't get warm."
BAT: "Be my guest."
ME: "I'm not driving any more today. Almost got into an accident on my way home. I need my big strong man to protect me and ferry me around."
ME: "Also, I am super cute today. If I go out alone, men might make advances."
ME: "Then you'd have to explain to Monkey that I was gone because I was super cute and had been whisked away by another single father."
ME: "And she might know the guy's kid and sleepovers would be weird."
BAT: "Lol. Right. Get you a 3 minute man."
ME: "Are you saying that's all I'm cute enough to get (insert angry emoticon face)?"
BAT: "No. But apparently that's the norm and most aren't as skilled or experienced as me."
ME: "But surely I'll attract more men like you. they can scent it out, my own awesome skills."
He hasn't responded so I'm pretty sure he is racing home for fear that I'll go out on my own to buy scotch or seven snuggies and be whisked off my feet by a handsome, sexually advanced man.
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