That's where I've been, for the most part, working. I go into the office at 7:30 and stay till 4:30 most days. Then I log in when I get home for my homework and/or to finish shit I couldn't get done during the day. Some nights I have to log back in at about 10:30 so that I can be part of a conference call. Those nights go until midnight at the earliest.
I don't even know what it is I do. Technically, I'm a business analyst but I thought I'd be doing technical writing with some technical doing. Instead, I do some technical writing, am being asked to learn a programming language, and am asked to investigate issues I have no clue about. Most days I want to quit and look for a true technical writing job. But then I feel like I can't just give up and that I have to give it more of a try and not just admit defeat without putting up a fight. And some days I grasp the situation and I feel competent.
But most days, yeah, I cry on my way home from work.
On the boyfriend front, well, I don't really know. Murdoch is a hard guy to read and considering that we communicate pretty much only in text messaging, I just don't know. I haven't heard much out of him since Sunday night when he made something of a snide comment and then ignored a question (the question: "does it bother you that I go out to bars on my own"... note that I had Monday and today off). I haven't heard from him and I stopped texting just because I don't need to talk to myself any more than I already do. I know his job is stressful and that he's still dealing with financial issues because of what The Cunt left him with and that his youngest son's birthday is this week and his daughter's is next week. So I am chalking it up to stress and just leaving him alone. But it is really annoying to not understand what is going on.
I assume I'll figure that portion of my life out sooner rather than later. I've got slightly bigger fish to fry at the moment.
I don't think Texas is agreeing with me physically. I keep doing stupid shit like not paying attention to the heat index. I took an hour long walk yesterday and didn't realize that "real feel" was 96 degrees. And it's so fucking bright out all the time. Today I think I almost passed out when I was doing my laundry just because I've been going into the sun too much. So that's ending. I'm going to miss walks though. I like taking really long walks and I was researching parks the other day. But I'll have to shelve those plans until Autumn. I don't think I can even walk to the store anymore, which is fucking obnoxious. But what can you do? Well, stay out of the sun for one. And don't wear fucking jeans to take a walk in 90 degree heat.
So that's my life at the moment. For the most part I don't seem to know what is going on but, oddly, I'm happy enough. Yesterday I went to the DMV to apply for my license. The web-site said my birth certificate and OH license would suffice but dude said "no" so I had to go home. I used to flip out about that sort of thing. Not on the person, mind, but when I got home. I'd get hysterical and melt down for some reason. But I just went home, tore up my apartment to find my social security card (it was mixed in with the stationary I bought at Kensington Palace ten years ago), and went back to the DMV and took care of it. So I'm sort of an official Texan. Sort of? Yes, because in Texas they send your information elsewhere to make sure you don't have outstanding warrants or whatever and so, upon "surrendering" your out of state license, you are given a piece of paper. My worst license photo ever but at least I got it taken care of.
Oh, and the DMV out here is rad. You go in, go to a kiosk, pick an option as to what you want to do, and then put in your cell phone number. You get texts telling you the ETA of when you will be seen and a page goes out with the last four digits of your phone number when it is your turn. Didn't take long either, but then, I did go on a Monday morning. I think, including the trip home and back, it took maybe 90 minutes but didn't feel like it at all. So that is something about Texas that is decent.
The thunderstorms are pretty magnificent as well. And I don't remember when last I lived somewhere where you could hear the storms moving away.
the end
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