Thursday, October 15, 2015

Tall People and Oranges

Glass of Water
There are a lot of tall women on my floor. Not only are they tall but they wear high heals, which is awesome; I love when tall women wear heals. It's just strange because it seems like a common thing on this floor whilst on the other floors I've worked in this building, you'd have maybe one lady gazing down upon all the others.

To be fair, most of the women tend to wear heals on this floor. OK, that's bullshit because I don't actually know if it's true. But I can say that a lot of the women in my department wear them on a regular basis. Generally, they arrive in flipflops, flats, or sneakers, and then put on their heals. Sometimes they make it to the end of the day and sometimes they switch back around lunchtime.

I don't know why but this made me think why are we still doing this? Remember 'Working Girl'? Is that the one with Melanie Griffith? You see her in her socks and sneakers walking to the ferry or the subway or whatever along with all the other busy business women and then she switches into heals when she gets to the office. It's so weird that we still do that same damn thing to this day. I only really thought about it because I'm wearing a pair of royal purple faux-suede booties that aren't that comfortable after awhile and so have my black flats in my bag. To my credit, I rarely change shoes at work.

Cause I'm a badass.

No, not really. It's really only because I wear the same heals all the time and so they aren't uncomfortable or, if you look closely, all that attractive given the wear and tear. And I'm not knocking women who do this regularly. If I'm knocking anyone it is shoemakers (cobblers!) for not figuring out how to make attractive shoes comfortable yet. It's 2015 for pity's sake; there are people with legit plans for when "the shit comes down" but no one has figured out how to give a girl the beauty of a high heal with the comfort of an orthopaedic? That's just sad.

I'm trying to work more fruit into my diet so as to avoid old timey illnesses like rickets and scurvy. I began slowly, bringing an apple to work with me each day beginning last Wednesday. So far, I've eaten an apple each day I've been in the office (W, TH, and F of last week and T, W, and TH of this week so far). I know, I know, the plaque in my honor is in the works I'm sure. This is all very boring I know, but something stupid/funny happened today and it all has to do with my "eat more of the fruits" decision.

Thought I'd up my game by adding an orange into the mix. I brought the orange on Tuesday and finally got around to trying it out today. Apparently, I suck at oranges. Using my pocket knife, I scored the bastard all over, planning on pealing it and eating the segments. The end result was ridiculous and pretty gross looking. What's that layer between the peal and the fruit called? You know, that annoying white layer that separates you from the delicious flesh of your citrus? Well, whatever it is called, it was solidly clinging to my orange so that the fucker looked like a baseball. By the time I got done trying to get that sucker off, I ended up with an orange that looked like it had been disemboweled.

Not a huge deal because whatever, it's an orange and oranges are delicious even if you have to eat one that looks like some sort of aborted explosion attempt. Only you probably shouldn't attempt to eat that version in the workplace - or anywhere public really - because the end result is pretty awful. I had juice running down my face, splashing onto my skirt, running down my hands and arms down to my elbow, and all over my desk. The sounds I made trying to tear orange segments from the peal were unfortunate and all in all, I felt bad for my colleagues.

Janine Garafalo (sp?) once said, whilst trying to explain her lazy, mediocre approach to life, that she's a "can you start my orange" sort of person. From now on, unless I settle and cut the damned thing up into wedges like a soccer mom, I'm going to find actual mothers in my department and ask them to start my fucking orange for me because this shit was just ridiculous.  

Wednesday, October 14, 2015

Lonely Hearts Party of Two

I am in a relationship whilst simultaneously being in the lonely hearts club. Weird, right? It isn't like my significant other deployed overseas for a tour of duty or anything. No, my SO lives like eight miles away from me. But unless it is the weekend and we are at the farm with his parents, the Bat and I rarely see one another.

Camping was supposed to provide us with some one on one time so we could reconnect and be boyfriend and girlfriend for awhile. Unfortunately, the Bat's security guard and her friends never showed up so it was just Honey and us. We had a good time but the Bat and I couldn't just leave Honey on her own while we went off as a couple. It would have been rude.

With Monkey working and relying on her dad for transportation, coupled with the fact that it is like pulling teeth to get the Bat to come to my place, it feels like I'm in a long distance relationship. I don't go to his place because there are too many people there and the morning commute is a nightmare since I have to go home and feed my cat. That and it actually fucks with me that I always go there because this is something the Bat and I discussed months ago (like six months or more at this point) and he promised he'd come over more. Even before Monkey started working there was usually a reason why he couldn't come over unless it was a Wednesday, the one single day of the week when he'd concede and come to my apartment. If it wasn't a Wednesday there was definitely a reason. Seriously, I think he maybe came one extra day in the last six to eight months.

Not that I'm bitter about that or anything. Obvs.

He was supposed to come over last night. We were going to watch a movie. Unfortunately, he didn't confirm things with the kiddo so thought the work schedule on the fridge was current when it was really last week's. So at the very end of my work day he told me that it was off because he had to take Monkey to work. I'll admit that I did get upset but I kept telling myself to knock that off because it doesn't do any good. I'm also used to this so should be neither surprised nor unduly upset. It's difficult though, because, as I've said before, I can't control these stupid lady feelings. I recently emailed the Bat to explain what I've been trying to tell him for weeks now. I need to feel like I'm a girlfriend. I need to feel appreciated. I need to feel loved and cared for. I actually asked him "what would you do if you wanted a girl to know that you loved her? What would you do to show a girl that you cared?"

He's made some efforts since then, for which I'm grateful, but it still stung that through his carelessness our plans were null and void. Monkey is off later this week but Spectero and I made plans last week so I'm unavailable.

Looks like for the time being I have a weekend boyfriend. Monkey goes for her license test on Monday so I guess maybe I'll get one extra day.

Sometimes I wonder if any of this is worth it.

*I got that picture from this website. 

Wednesday, October 7, 2015

Camping - Autumn 2015

Well, we finally went camping and it was extremely relaxing. It was a bit cold, as was the water, so swimming wasn't as great as the last time, but the laying around doing nothing part was fantastic. I do wish we'd taken time to actually hike some of the trails but we got there close to dark on Friday and on Saturday, the Bat and our friend, Honey, both took naps so that was out. 

Still, I enjoyed myself. We really don't do much when we camp. We swim, cook, and just hang out. Saturday evening was my favorite because as we were sitting around the (small - much burn ban so sad face) fire, I used the Bat's phone to play podcasts of spooky stories. They weren't incredibly scary but they also weren't incredibly cheesy. They were pretty much perfect. I was actually surprised because both Honey and the Bat enjoyed it as well. 

We utilized all of the items I'd purchased recently. The dishes really helped us cut down on trash and this was the neatest campsite I've ever been part of. Granted, we didn't have teenagers with us and I'm sure that contributed a bit but we had way less trash than my previous experiences. The ladle came in handy for dinner, as I knew it would, and the lantern was a lantern. It was slightly disappointing, the lantern. It provided great light but needs some sort of shield so you don't blind yourself whenever you turn it on or off. Also, the USB charger never really worked unless I turned the crank on the damn thing (it's solar powered but if you turn the crank enough you can power it that was as well). I don't regret buying it but was a bit bummed. 

Now we are back and reality is settling in around me. I took Monday off for a doctor's appointment and pedicure so yesterday was for slowly easing back into things. We'll go down to the farm on Friday, of course. It feels a bit weird not having seen the Bat's parents this past weekend just because we've seen them every week for a couple of months now. I wonder how much his mother has gotten done on the house. 

We shall see. In the mean time, back to work and getting my apartment sorted.