Tuesday, September 30, 2014

Things That Would Be Awesome

We all do it right, go "you know what would be awesome?" and follow it up with something that would, indeed, be awesome. I'm not talking about "if I won a $400million lottery" or anything, just small things. So that is what today's blog post is going to be about because I've got nothing else.
  1. My department always has candy in the candy dish and people occasionally bring in bagels. Do you know what would be awesome? If every day there were free sandwiches. That would be rad as hell.
  2. My company's volunteer organization is raising money for a food bank by selling raffle tickets for some neat things. I was hoping to win the Cowboys tickets so I could sell them, but I didn't. But it would be super awesome if I won one of the 'tech' gift bag things. I put in a total of three raffle tickets but my chances are slim. I don't even know why I did it since I have enough screens and tablety things and ways to hook up to the internet. But it would be awesome if I won a raffle because it has been forever and a day since I won a raffle.
  3. I don't know if it is because I sit all day for work or if it has something to do with my chair but my legs start hurting by 1PM. If I'm hunched over my laptop all day, my back hurts like a mother fucker. Do you know what would be awesome? Treadmill desks. These are real things and we should have them. As it is, I sit in a weird set up where there is a short partition between me and the guy in front of me. I feel like we are in a giant game of whack a mole. Having a treadmill desk would be so much better. 
  4. If someone would buy my damned Saturn already, that would be mega awesome. I've even lowered the price on Craigslist. Buy my car!!!!
  5. I live in Texas where liquor stores and Verizon stores, and certain other places are closed on Sunday. You know what would be awesome? If that shit didn't happen. 
  6. BFF and I talk through email during the day at work. We used to use google chat or hangouts or whatev but my company blocked that ability. Having that back? You guessed it, awesome.
  7. I feel a lot of pressure with Facebook sometimes. I want to post a status update but then all I can think is "no one cares that I just did that perfectly average and mundane task." I want to post witty things or things to make people laugh, things that I think up on my own rather than just another meme. So I guess what I'm trying to say is, it would be awesome if I was witty on a regular basis and could routinely post badass Facebook status updates. 
  8. If I could get rid of my magical thinking, oh man, that would be freaking sweet!
  9. If I lived a life that was exciting enough to provide me with blog fodder. That would be awesome as fuck because I enjoy writing, I enjoy this blog, but I hate when I don't have anything to talk about. 
Speaking of Facebook, I heard that for a little while there, people were posting shit about Keurig Cups causing cancer on their FB pages. I didn't see it but it came up on a forum that I visit. I drew a few (bad) pictures to indicate what I thought was meant by K cups giving people cancer..


Friday, September 26, 2014

Further Adventures in Waxing

This is going to be short because I really don't have much to say. The Bat and I are getting along, Trucker gets in tonight so the house will be full, the Saturn is on Craigslist, and I'm getting more and more comfortable with the Honda. That's about it. But I do have what to me is a funny story.

At lunch today, I went to get waxed. Once again, I got someone different so I guess it's just a matter of who is available. So I go in the room, the chick gets there and I take off my pants and underwear and lay down. I said I wanted a Brazilian and my eyebrows done and so she takes care of my eyebrows first. Then she asks if I want my lip waxed so I'm all, sure, go for it. Then, to my horror, she asks if I want my chin waxed.

I am old enough to need to have my fucking chin waxed.

What makes this funny though, is that all the time she was working on my face, I'm laying there with my vag out. Then she gets to the vag and I'm not saying it was her first time, but she was not as skilled as the last girl and she hurt me a little bit. But at least I didn't have to get on my hands and knees or lay on my stomach and spread my cheeks for the last bit. And she gave the old girl the royal treatment at the end with some sort of cold cream and some sort of powder.

But I'm still covered with wax and can feel it on my leg and on my face. So awesome. And also, it still hurts.

Sunday, September 21, 2014

Been Gone Cause Nothing Nice to Say

I know, where have I been, right? Well, I don't have anything fun or exciting to report and I really don't like when I'm just complaining. Seriously, there have been times when I would actually apologize to my paper journal for just bitching all the time and would make a point of writing down the good things. That's what happens when you start a journal at the age of 10.

Work is fine, which is nice. But I live in my ex boyfriend's house and recently found out that he totally lied to me. Remember how I said he and I agreed not to tell Monkey about he break up until I was out of the house? Well, apparently the Bat's one and only confidant is a 15 year old girl and shes known the entire time what has been going on and so I've just been acting like an idiot, thinking she didn't know. I asked him, specifically, that we not tell her till I was out of the house. He agreed. He lied and then lied via evasion.

Yes, he did fly to Arizona with me so I could purchase my mother's car and drive it back to Texas but he's broken all other promises when it comes to the car. He promised he'd help me clean it out and then didn't. He promised he'd help me with the Craigslist ad and then didn't. On Friday night he literally swore that he would help me do it the next day if I reminded him. Remind him I did but he said that it would be better if I asked his cousin's fiance (who is staying with us for a month) because he is more of a car guy, the Bat would be out of the house and CF and I would be siting around. Welp, the Bat got home after seven and CF was still out so still no Craigslist. The Bat said "Well let's do it now" but I told him to forget it and that I would take care of it. He said "I told you we'd take care of it when I got home." He actually tried to lie to me.

It bothers me that I let it bother me. His follow through has been so shoddy that I shouldn't be surprised. He's broken promises our entire relationship so what do I expect? I guess it gets to me because I'm still new here so I don't know many people and don't have a lot of people to turn to.

I do, however, have some good news. J contacted me recently and we've been talking, even had a video chat that lasted about 2+ hours. You have no idea the closure that has brought me and how stoked I am to be friends with him again.

I'll write more about it when I'm in a better frame of mind. Right now I'm just all boo hoo pity party so need to wrap this up.

Here's to a good week. At least the weather here is predicted to be in the mid 80's.

Wednesday, September 3, 2014

It's Not Been a Day and I Already Want Back Out

Back to work and I am extremely tired. Five days of complete freedom will do that to a girl I guess. I didn't have a ton of email to go through, because I'm not very important, but I did discover that I have a more complicated title now. No pay raise or anything, just a change in title because my role has blended with a different division's role and is an HR thing. Or something. Bunch of words about job codes and mapping and whatever in the email from my boss/former boss.

I think I may have mentioned this right? When I was on the phone for a conference call that I hated? I'm going to be - or am now officially - reporting to the idiot manager that drives me crazy. I will say this for her though, she doesn't even put her title in her email signature.

So my eyes are all gluey and I want to go home and take a nap but I have to be here for roughly 2.25 hours before I can split. And tomorrow I have a fucking team meeting (yes, another fucking 'team' meeting because I seem to be on a number of teams these days) from 4-5. I don't want to be here until 5 fucking PM. Traffic is going to suck and I'm supposed to meet up for girls' night. I really should have used my last day of freedom better by just napping and watching things on Netflix.

What did I do you ask? I drove my car through a car wash, bought some groceries, rented movies, copied movies from the Bat that I want, took Monkey to the store to find some of the school supplies she needed, copied the movies I rented, made dinner, and threw in a load of laundry. I also worked on a scarf I've been knitting for the Bat, which I will give him since I said I would. I don't even think he'll like it but he can always give it to his next girlfriend.

Speaking of the Bat, he told me he was broken last night. It was an offhand remark about how he wants the best for me even if he is broken. I immediately thought "dude, you're broken because of your ex-wife?" I mean, yeah, she put him through some pretty shitty times and she's a non mother but he got this wonderful gift in Monkey. If that's all it took for him to break - and he hasn't done any repairs in the past 13 years - then it makes even more sense for me to get the fuck out because really? Really? A large portion of my life has been getting kicked in the teeth and thrown to the ground but I get up every damned time and keep fighting, refusing to let the world break me. If dude is broken because of one shitty relationship, well... I prefer boyfriends to be stronger than me, and not just physically. Or, actually, as strong as me, they don't have to be stronger. So that was an interesting piece of information about Mr. Bat.

I'm on part of my lunch break although I ate my lunch at about 11:30. I had a Luncheable and I was wayyyy too excited about it. It had a Capri Sun and everything! I didn't eat the Reese's Cup but I did polish off a packet of Captain's Wafers Cream Cheese and Chive (you know, crackers with fake cheese filling) and some 'healthy' fruit snacks that were super sticky. I even ate some of this weird Planter's energy mix thing. So now I'm all full and tired and should have saved that juice box until after my nap. Oh, yeah, I'm totally taking a nap when I get home because I'm having trouble keeping my eyes open. In fact, I may dip out a little early since I have to stay fucking late tomorrow, stupid meeting. But Luncheables are awesome, you just need two when you are a grown up. Otherwise you
end up stuffing your face with everything you brought with you.

Welp, back to work. I'd say thank goodness it is a short week but that will probably just make next week suck even more. At least I should have better wheels by then.

Monday, September 1, 2014

FSH is Made by Assholes

Remember how I told you that I now take FHS up on the offer to share my success stories from time to time? There you go. I saved Frosty Fields from, uhm, Rancid Raccoon? I don't actually know who I'm saving these fields and farms and things from to be honest. I guess I didn't pay enough attention when I first started. But at least Frosty Fields is safe. Oh, but FHS can be kind of a dick. I was stuck on a level for what seemed like forever. When I beat it, I got a message congratulating me for finally beating it. Don't believe me?

FHS is made by assholes. 
People didn't need to know that I'd been stuck on level 67 for so long. People could have just assumed I hadn't played in awhile. But oh no, the true saga must be shared with no humiliating truth withheld. Dicks. Now I have to get that damned raccoon's key before I can proceed onto more levels. I tried twice and failed so just clicked the "ask your friends" option. Because, as Homer Simpson would agree, if you try something and are not immediately good at it, you should just give up. It isn't like my "farm friends" don't know that I'm struggling thanks to the finally message as pictured above. And I send those mother fuckers lives and moves all the time so they owe me, and more than just beans. Why would you send me beans when I ask you for lives? And why does Rancid Raccoon have a key that he would give me if I reached two stars if it means I might save more lands from his clutches? And how many times do I need to "defeat" him? I've had to do it at least three times so clearly, 'defeat' is not the right term.
Rancid Raccoon, fucking with me as I try to get to 2 stars so I can get his key.

Rancid when he defeats me (which he just did).
Why yes, yes I have been playing a ridiculous amount of Facebook games this weekend. Did you know you can play Uno and Crazy Eights? I'm better at the latter than I am at the former. But, as you know from my car problem (AKA infestation), I have been a bit productive. And that reminds me,  have laundry that might be ready. 

Thus ends my long story about my experience with Farm Saga Heros.

PS: My latest odd show to binge watch is "Rosemary and Thyme". It's a pair of middle aged women, one a botanical pathologist the other a fond gardener whose husband left her. They team up to start a business of gardening after Rosemary is sacked as a university instructor and meets Laura (Thyme) when she's just found out about her husband leaving her. So they garden and the bodies pile up. In case you wanted to know.