Broke up with Murdoch. I decided to call it a day because we were clearly on different pages and I didn't like how I felt or who I seemed to be. I felt clingy and needy and I'm neither one and not about to let a guy make me feel that way. I tried calling but, surprise surprise, he didn't answer. So I emailed him, told him I hoped he and his were OK (this was Monday and I barely heard two words out of him since Friday early evening) and then told him I was ending it. He's a lovely guy and I wish him the best but I need more from a relationship. That's fine and it doesn't make me a bad person or high maintenance. He can't or won't give it to me. That's fine, that doesn't make him a bad person. Poor timing I suppose.
People keep asking if I heard back from him and I keep saying "at the end he barely spoke to me when we were together. Why would he talk to me now?"
Disappointing and a bummer but better to get out of it now when I know it just isn't going to work. I gave it a shot and tried my best but some things just aren't meant to be. I'll collect myself, get passed it, and probably sign up for a dating site when I'm ready.
I have no idea what is going on at work but this weird thing happened yesterday. I was in a meeting and I volunteered to do someone's testing and documentation. She was cool with it. I then proceeded to work on it only to find out that my manager asked someone else to do it instead. No explanation as to why but I kind of feel insulted or like I was just given a pat on the head and handed a bouncey ball to play with.
This, obviously, affects my morale, as did the hangover I had yesterday (yesterday was Tuesday and after breaking up with Murdoch I thought "yeah, I'm going to drink too much tonight because that is going to make me feel better"). Did you know you can google "how to waste time at work" and find options? One of my favorites was along the lines of "I've found that no one will question you if you walk around with a clipboard looking serious". That and looking at those demotivational posters is good for a few moments of time murdering. My favorite by far has the caption:
Coming to Work: I don't really mind but, I mean, this eight hour wait to go home is just bullshit.It is my desktop wallpaper.
In other shitty work news, people can't stop telling me that an old coworker died yesterday. He was a really good guy and worked in IT in the Ohio office. Had been with the company for something like 15 years and was really part of what people like to refer to as "the culture." That office will not be the same. He was diagnosed with stage four lung cancer a few months ago and it moved quickly. It's very sad news and it doesn't get any less sad the number of times you are told.